T. L. Willis' Notes on ... Nope!

 

I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out how so many people can find Nope to be so boring, monotonous, and just plain bad.  Nope is one of the recent horror/sci-fi films to truly engage me and reach something deeper than just entertainment value, in the same vein I put Hereditary.  Horror can truly be more than just blood guts and boobs, just like they put it in the movie X, “It is possible to make a good dirty movie” and I think Jordan Peele’s sensibilities as a director proves that more than most.

From the beginning he has shown himself to have a complete grasp of the medium and how to tell an effective story.  Even though I find Us to be his weakest there’s not much in there that you can point at as being bad or even mediocre.  I believe Nope to be his greatest achievement as a director although he did win an Oscar for his screenplay with Get Out which is hard to top, Nope calls back to the OG blockbuster in

Jaws in more ways than one.  There’s plenty of articles written about it, and much more thoroughly than I can do here, but that alone is enough to make me question anyone who loves Jaws and looks at Nope as some boring and plodding film.

Jordan Peele isn’t trying to pull the wool over the audience’s eyes with the themeology within, he lays everything out as plainly as possible so you can place everything together as you go. 

“But what about the MONKEY???”

That’s easily explained with the opening frame of the film when we see the Bible verse explaining exactly what it’s all about.  Spectacle and exploitation.  We as humans have exploited animals and humans for entertainment and spectacle for generations and generations.  So going from that directly into the tragedy that happens with Gordy it puts it plain as day.  Even Gordy almost breaking the fourth wall to look at the audience before cutting to the opening credits plays into what OJ says later in the film.  “Don’t look it in the eyes,” treating these animals and creatures with respect and honor instead of antagonizing them, and putting them in positions where anything could flip in the blink of an eye.

Having our main character be a horse trainer that knows how to respect and treat animals puts everything into perspective when later we see characters either treating animals poorly, or even insinuating such.  As the film goes on the main character OJ learns to respect the main “monster,” noticing its behavior is more like a wild animal than some extraterrestrial being.  Switching his perspective from it being an Alien monster they have to deal with to seeing it as an equal and treating it as such is such a fresh take on it and only adds to how compelling this film is.

The journey of every character moving from looking for glory and fame, or trying to save their ranch, to understanding and respecting these animals is one that sticks with me as someone who has always had a soft spot for animals. 

The whole movie turns from a straight up Jaws-like horror film into an almost modern Western in the 3^rd act and you don’t even notice it until after.  That to me is a mark of a masterful director, and Jordan Peele in my mind is one of the smartest directors out there right now.  Every line of his scripts, every frame of his shots, every edit put into place, it all has meaning and contributes to the overall picture and theme he means to speak about.

I know themes and deeper meaning aren’t always everyone's cup of tea but Nope to me is a perfect example of a horror film that is fun and exhilarating while also saying something and saying it brilliantly.  Peele doesn’t let his themes and messages bog down the film and lets them breathe.  He knows how to balance a film and to me that’s what makes him one of the best directors out there.

I could genuinely talk and write about this film for an eternity.  This is less of a review and more so just me gushing about how much I love this movie and it kills me that so many of my friends and family members to whom I recommend it, find it to be a bad film.  I get it but at the same time I don’t really get it.  After watching it how can you not have that feeling like you just witnessed a modern epic tale?  I’m not going to say Jordan Peele himself would be disappointed, but I definitely would be.

Nope definitely has its fans, but from my experience I’ve seen far more that dislike than like. That's just a travesty to me, man. Its smartly written, masterfully shot, acted perfectly, hilarious, scary, engaging, and so many other adjectives I could use. Hopefully, though, this encourages anyone to go back and give it another shot with a new mindset and outlook on it. Maybe give it the RESPECT it deserves.

 

Unimonster's Top 13 ... 2023 Horror Movies!

 

2023’s Top Horror Movies

 

1.)               Last Voyage of the Demeter

2.)              The Nun II

3.)              Evil Dead Rise

4.)              Totally Killer

5.)              Scream VI

6.)              Thanksgiving

7.)              Talk to Me

8.)              Meg 2: The Trench

9.)              Hell House LLC Origins: The Carmichael Manor

10.)         Haunted Mansion

11.)         Saw X

12.)         Pet Sematary: Bloodlines

13.)         Five Nights at Freddy’s

Getting their Freeky Creek On! by Bobbie Culbertson

It was a cold and windy night dampened by misty rain as we drove out to Fairmount, Illinois, a cozy rural community just south of Oakwood and a few scant miles east of the 'Paign.  Only one reason was good enough to take us from our toasty home...the 5th Annual Freeky Creek Short Film Festival.  The festival, held at Sleepy Creek Vineyards (8254 E 1425 North Rd., Fairmount, Il. 61841) is the brainchild of Sleepy Creek owners, Joe and Dawn Taylor who annually choose short video submissions from over 600 entrants from around the world to show in their comfortable and tastefully decorated wine tasting rooms.  While this first evening wasn't sold out as the next two nights are, almost every seat in the place was filled with costumed Fest-attendees.

Master of Ceremony was Bill Kephart, dressed as an irreverent, cigar-chomping Easter Bunny, who throughout the three intermissions, would attempt to free his friend Naughty-Kitty who had been arrested and taken to the Humane Shelter for neutering.  Aided in these attempts by his friend, Jean Claude Van Damme, a warrior-like door greeter at Wal-Mart. (Don't ask!  You had to be there!)  Anyway ... on with the show(s).

The submitted short films ran from less than a minute to over 16 minutes in length.  And most, if not all, had the same things going for them—excellent production values and above par acting!  Some had frightening CGI effects at would rival top studios (6 Shooter with its "Alien" internal attackers springs to mind).  Animation proved to be an audience favorite (my vote would go to Office Kingdom with its resigned but dedicated clerk).  Gore checked in with Vasle a Pancienne (The Waltz) and showed itself to be stomach turning.

Comedy made a good showing with, in my opinion, If I Only... winning hands down (or, in this case, hands applauding wildly!).  Dead Hearts, the longest of this evening's fare at 16 minutes, proved true love never truly dies!  That said, all were entertaining, fascinating and professionally rendered.  At the evening's end, the audience was invited to cast their ballots for the best films in several categories:

Freekin' Creepy Award (best horror)

Freekin' Artsy Award (best animation)

Freekin' Pretty Award (best looking)

Freekin' Thespian Award (best acting)

Freekin' Funny Award (best comedy)

Freekin' Fake Award (best fake commercial or doc)

Freekin' Best of the Freekin' Fest Award!  (overall most votes)

The Festival ended Nov 1 and the winners have been announced on the Freeky Creek Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/FCSFF

Joe and Dawn Taylor have thoughtfully uploaded Youtube links to the various winner of this year's Freeky Creek Short Film Festival!  So, head on over to their Facebook page for a frighteningly good time!  And should you, dear readers, find yourselves in East-Central Illinois on or near Halloween, please check out the Freeky Creek Short film Festival at Sleepy Creek vineyards.  You won't be sorry!

Complete list of submissions (*= premier)

Act 1

On Broken Wings by Walter Arnold (US, 4:00 min)

The Man From Arctica by Nils J. Nesse (Norway, 1:00 min)

The Devil You Know IBC by Brian Osborne (Local, 0:48 min)

Armor* by Jennifer Bechtel (Local, 2:00 min)

Office Kingdom by Salvatore Centoducati (Italy, 7:00 min)

Under Age by Joonas Makkonen (Finland, 4:45 min)

ZHS Trailer* by Dan Drake (Local, 1:00 min)

Castcom Cable* by Thomas Nicol (Local, 5:27 min)

Christopher Columbo* by Jiani Bach Nygard (Local, 2:00 min)

Volunteer by Javier Marco (Spain, 3:52 min)

Clowns Are Not Scary* by Mike Trippiedi (Local, 2:36 min)

Ruins by Daniel Ueno (Brazil, 4:05 min)

The Headless Nun by Nuno Sa Pessoa (Portugal, 6:43 min)

Act 2

Heavy Metal Reflections by Shawn Wickens (USA, 2:59 min)

Valse a Pancienne (The Waltz) by Bourreau Francois-Xavier (France, 2:46 min)

If I Only...* by Mike Trippiedi (Local, 2:08 min)

The Contest by Mike Osborne (USA, 0:45 min)

Awkward by Toni Lopez Bautista (Spain, 7:20 min)

6 Shooter by Lauren Parker (UK, 3:30 min)

NO, IT'S NOT THAT by Aitor Arenas (Spain, 3:30 min)

Wacky Robot by Chris Deir (USA), 4:48 min)

Like His Father by Toni Lopez Bautista (Spain, 5:00 min)

Grandma (Lola) by Joey Agbayani (Philippines, 7:00 min)

The Low Road, Baby by Mark Roeder (USA, 4:00 min)

Act 3

Death Of the First Born Egyptians* by Nina Paley (Local, 7:06 min)

Little Baby's Ice Cream by Doug Garth Williams (USA, 0:50 min)

Sister And Brother In the Cemetery* by Mike Trippiedi (Local, 2:54 min)

Piscis by Juan Carlos Camardella (Argentina, 3:15 min)

Tuck Me In by Ignacio F. Rodo (Spain, 1:00 min

Invocation by Robert Morgan (UK, 3:10 min)

Dead Hearts by Stephen Martin (Canada, 16:00 min)

Bobbie

Trash Palace Dumpster-- Bobbie's Best of the Bad: Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014)

As fans of the made-for-TV 2013 surprise hit Sharknado know, this aquatic disaster franchise is meant to be mocked and ridiculed. That's why it came as no surprise that last night's airing of Sharknado 2: The Second One garnered 5.3 million viewers who tweeted 215,000 tweets during it's two-hour running time. Snarks flew like the sharks in the movie with such notables as director Roger Corman tweeting "Do I sate myself? Do I soar? These are the existential questions that a shark in a #Sharknado2TheSecondOne must ask himself. So must we all" and Sharknado star Tara Reid twittering "when something bites us we bite back." So, without further ado, I give you my 6 reasons to love Sharknado 2: The Second One.

1. Cameos! By the dozens! Seems like everyone wanted to be in this movie! From NBC-TV anchormen Al Roker to Matt Lauer arguing about whether to call it a shark storm or a sharknado before stabbing to death a shark that lands on their desk to Jared Fogel, the Subway Sandwich Shop shill, eating a subway sandwich while waiting for a subway train. In one scene that made me want to sing "Don't Break My Achy-Breaky Shark", songster Billy Ray Cyrus appears as Tara Reid's surgeon. If you've ever yearned to see rapper Sandra "Pepa" Denton gets squashed by a shark while riding a Citibike, this is the movie for you! Or if you've ever wanted to watch Robert Klein chatter with WWE Superstar Kurt Angle while they play the Mayor of New York and the Chief of the FDNY respectively, well, here ya go! Or the guy from Shark Tank get killed by the detached rolling head of The Statue Of Liberty, this one's for you, sicko! Two of the best might be Robert Hays, star of the 1980 film Airplane!, as the pilot of the airliner attacked by flying sharks, and Judd Hirsch, who starred as Alex Reiger on the 1970s series Taxi as, what else, Ben the taxi driver!

2. It's terrifyingly easy to get access to weapons on The Big Apple. From napalm selling pizzeria owner Biz Markie to random citizens storing pick-axes, saws, machetes and machine guns in their car trunks, it's no wonder that this major metropolis area has such a high crime rate!
3. Knowing that "during an EF5 sharknado," sharks can come down at a rate of up to "two inches an hour." And that they can do this even while being on fire! On fire while climbing stairs!
4. In what can only be an homage to Bruce Campbell, Tara Reid's missing lower left arm is replaced with a circular saw she uses to kill the same flying shark that took her arm in the first place! After which, ex-husband Ian
   Ziering retrieves her chewed off arm from the sharks mouth, removes her wedding ring from the dead finger and, with sharks raining down all around him, drops to one knee and proposes to Tara! She says "Yes!", BTW. So, we can have romance in a disaster movie, right!?!
5. Climate change is real. As blizzard-like conditions move in from the East and meet with tropical storms coming in from the West, it snows in New York City on a clear June day. Al Roker told us this so it must be true and not a flimsy excuse to cover up the fact that it's snowing and we can see the actor's breaths on what's supposed to be a typical Summer's day!
6. And finally reason #6 … Sharknado 2: The Second One set a network record on Wednesday night with 3.9 million viewers for its premiere telecast. That makes it the most-watched movie in network history. What's more: It nabbed 1 billion Twitter impressions, according to the cable network.  Less than 24 hours later the SyFy channel astounded and surprised no one by announcing the third installment Sharknado 3 has been green-lit for release next year! Keep checking with SyFy.com for further updates. Meanwhile, if you missed it's premier showing July 30, it's showing again Saturday, August 2 at 7 pm. and Sunday, August 3 at 9 pm. (ET/PT).

Bobbie's Movies to Look For: HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN

Title:  HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN

Year of Release—Film:  2011

An aging, scruffy and anonymous hobo (Rutger Hauer) climbs down from a freight train at the out-skirts of Hope City (renamed Scum City by its residents) looking for a fresh start in a new town.  What he finds instead is a terrified town helplessly trapped in the grips of a psychopath named The Drake (Brian Downey) and his two equally evil and sadistic sons Ivan and Slick (Nick Bateman and Gregory Smith).  With sickened eyes, the hobo stands helplessly by as The Drake has his own brother beheaded with barbed wire in front of the terrified citizens.  Prostitution, vice and drugs are rampant, person-on-person violence is an everyday occurrence and the streets of this mean town, including its police department, clearly are in the iron fist of The Drake and his two obnoxious sons!  Still, the hobo holds on to his dream of one day owning a lawnmower and opening a lawn care service.

He saves a golden-hearted hooker Abby (Molly Dunsworth) from Slick who has rape and murder on his mind and is carved up for his troubles.  Grateful Abby allows the hobo to spend the night at her apartment and in the morning finds him gone.  The hobo earns his lawnmower money by eating glass while being filmed by a deranged filmmaker but as he enters the pawnshop to buy his dream, he’s confronted by a hold-up in progress.  The ski-masked robbers threaten to kill a baby if the terrified storeowner doesn’t give them more cash.  Grabbing a shotgun from a display, the hobo blasts the bad guys and become a HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN!  Delivering justice one shell at a time!

Outraged that this down-on-his-luck drifter is cramping his style and threatening his authority, Drake sends his two sons out to burn up a busload of children.  When the local TV news begins its report on the tragedy, Slick and Ivan break in and, killing the TV reporter, tell their stunned audience that if the townsfolk don’t want their children killed in a similar way, they need to kill all the homeless people!  Mass carnage ensues as the homeless are burned, shot and smashed flat with backhoes!  The hobo is now the hunted as he tries to clean up a town that wants him dead!

First-time filmmaker Jason Eisener has clearly studied exploitation films and with HOBO breathes new life into a genre that has grown moribund.  In 2007, Eisener entered and won an internet contest to create a fake trailer similar to the ones found on Robert Rodriguez’s Grindhouse double-feature.  The HOBO trailer went viral and put Eisener on the fast -track to turning his $120 trailer into a feature-length feature.  But, for some reason, would-be investors didn’t think cinematic viewers would go for the scene with the bus-load of burning children so it took much haggling and two long years for Eisener to come up with the capital.  HOBO splashed it’s blood-soaked way across limited screens giving the audience everything from a pedophile Santa Clause to some unexplained tentacled creatures who seemed to have wandered in from another movie.  Did I say blood-soaked?  This movie is awash in blood, guts and gore!  Definitely not for the squeamish!

Rutger Hauer plays the title role with a road-weariness that makes a believable and even likeable anti-hero.  He appears and acts exactly like a rum-soaked, down-on-his-heels drifter.  Brian Downey as the Drake put on his shtick like some deranged game-show host, playing to his captive audience while killing it’s members.  Gregory Smith plays Slick like a demented Tom Cruise in 1983’s RISKY BUSINESS.  And it was pleasant to see Robb “Ricky” Wells from Trailer Park Boys again, even in the cameo role of the Uncle who is beheaded in the opening scene.  But, it’s Molly Dunsworth as the hooker with the heart of gold that really stands out in this!  Producers should take note of her convincing acting job as Abby and get her agent on the phone before it’s too late!  I sincerely hope that this is only the beginning for Jason Eisener and we gore-hounds can look forward to many more!

Enjoy!

Senior Correspondent Bobbie

And Now, A Special Short Review from Senior Correspondent Bobbie!

THE HUMAN BEE-ING (2002)

It will bleed you white with stark, naked terror!

A brilliant film titled THE HUMAN BEE-ING just crossed the Video Vault's threshold and this short film deserves a short introduction and a big pat on the back!  An homage to 1950's big-bug movies, from it's William Castle-like opening speech which warns that anyone in the audience with heart problems, is over the age of 50 or under the age of 25 or suffers from palsy should not watch this film to its clever and comedic ending, it's 45 minutes you're not likely to forget!

Funded by Allen Danasco (Eric Hoffman), who owns a typing firm, mad scientist Dr. Charles Metzenbeamer (Jim Coughlin) has almost perfected a worker bee-human by combining human DNA with worker bee DNA to come up with a tireless typist bee.  No one seems to notice this human bee's rather large head because Dr. Metzenbeamer has cleverly dressed it in a suit, a toupee, slapped a phony mustache on it, and chained it to its desk where it tirelessly and efficiently types all day and all night.  No one that is except co-typist Stacey (Ronit Feinglass Plank) who finds herself strangely drawn to this new Mr. Hives.  Her boyfriend, Joe De Compana (John Varga) hardly noticed his girlfriend's strange obsession even after being warned by Stacey's best friend, Diane (Meredith Weiner).  As Allen Danasco demands more human-bee workers, the human office staff mysteriously begins to disappear!

Extremely smart with quick, dry humor, The Human BEEing is wonderfully acted and brilliantly directed by Tony Shea and co-written by actor Jim Coughlin.  It never spoofs 1950's B-movies but lovingly embraces the genre.  The Human BEEing is one of the best short films I've seen and I truly hope this won't be the last I see of Tony Shea and company!  Kudos!

Senior Correspondent Bobbie

Godzilla / The Quiet Ones / The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Drive-In Triple-Feature

Title(s):  Godzilla / The Quiet Ones / The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Date of Theatrical Release(s):  May 16, 2014 / April 25, 2014 / May 2, 2014

MPAA Rating:  PG-13 (all)

On the 16^th of May, your friendly ol’ Unimonster loaded the family truckster with food, drink, blankets, the Uni-Nephew, and the Rug-Monkey, and headed out to the local Drive-In.  Our primary goal for the night was to have a great time watching the new Godzilla film, but good timing (plus a little bit of relocating from one screen to the next during intermission) allowed us to score a triple-feature of genre films.  It was also my first chance to check out the Tibbs since they upgraded to Digital over the off-season.

Since the boys and I watched these movies as a team, we’ll review them as a team.  Each review will include their thoughts on the film in question.  So let’s go to the Drive-in!

Godzilla

We were all looking forward to Gareth Edwards’ Godzilla, the big budget reinvention of the King of all Monsters.  Following a spring filled with hype about this movie, we were all a little concerned that it might fail to deliver as much as was promised … I more so than the boys.  I still have vivid recollections of the last time the Big G appeared on American shores, in the 1998 Roland Emmerich-directed GINO (Godzilla … In Name Only) stinkfest.  It too had been massively hyped, only to disappoint legions of loyal Kaijû fans, including the Unimonster.  I hoped history wouldn’t repeat itself, but Hollywood has a poor track record in this area.

After viewing, all I can say is … this movie was fantastic!  For once, the hype wasn’t overdone; if anything, the movie was better than I expected.  This is Godzilla; Americanized, sure … but still recognizable as the Big G.  If the trailers mislead on any point, it’s the impression that Bryan Cranston is the star of the film.  His performance as Joe Brody, the first to give warning of Godzilla’s presence is good, and the character is important to the plot, but his screen time is limited.  Never having seen an episode of Breaking Bad, my impressions of Cranston all revolve around his Emmy-nominated role of Hal, Malcolm’s long-suffering father on the hit series Malcolm in the Middle.  It’s different seeing him in a dramatic role; good, but different.  I kept expecting Hal to pop-up.

The lead is nominally Aaron Taylor-Johnson, familiar to genre fans as Dave Lizewski / Kick-Ass, from Kick-Ass and Kick-Ass 2 (both highly recommended, btw), but make no mistake, the star of this film is 250 feet tall and scaly.  This is Godzilla’s film, and though I would’ve like to see more of him on-screen, his impact is unquestionable.

The one problem I do have with the film is that far too much of it looks as though it was lit with a 40-watt light bulb.  I understand using shadows to conceal something in order to build suspense, but in order for there to be shadows there must also be light.  When you’re seeing one- or two-minute sequences that are essentially just a black screen, that’s not building suspense; that’s taking the audience out of the action.

Still, that’s my one complaint, and it’s not a major one.  Overall, it’s a tremendous movie, and easily vaults to the top of my list for Movie of the Year.

The Uni-Nephew’s Review:  “Godzilla was a great movie, with lots of action and a great story!”
The Rug-Monkey’s Review:  “Great!”

The Quiet Ones

Ever since the resurrection of Hammer Films, and their first unqualified success with The Woman in Black, I’ve been waiting for the follow-up.  Something, anything, to show that the studio’s new incarnation was for real.  The Quiet Ones, the studio’s first release since The Woman in Black, is not that film.

Starring Jared Harris, Sam Claflin, and Olivia Cooke, The Quiet Ones is the type of Supernatural / Psychological horror that Hammer used to do very well, with films such as 1963’s Paranoiac or 1964’s Nightmare.  My issues with this film are that, for a “Horror” film, there’s a distinct lack of … well, Horror.  To describe the film as slow-moving would be an understatement; the movie plods along with the deliberateness of a stagnant creek.  John Pogue directed this tortoise of a film, working from a script he co-wrote with Craig Rosenberg and Oren Moverman.  I don’t know if ‘glacial’ was the pace he was shooting for … if so, then he hit the mark.

 

The characters are on the whole unlikeable; Claflin’s Brian McNeil is the closest you get to a hero for the piece, though not a very effective one.  Professor Joseph Coupland (Harris), the head of the group, is the perfect example of the ‘creepy uncle’, the kind which parents don’t let their kids visit unsupervised.  Only Cooke, as Jane Harper, the subject of the Professor’s experiments, is entertaining.  And I get the impression that that’s an accidental occurrence.

Despite all this, The Quiet Ones isn't a horrible movie … just a profoundly disappointing one.

The Uni-Nephew’s Review:  “The Quiet Ones was a good movie but could’ve been a bit faster-paced, with more horror aspects to it (considering it’s a horror movie).”
The Rug-Monkey’s Review:  “The Quiet Ones was okay, but wasn’t what I expected.”

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Okay, confession time … I’ve never been a fan of Marvel’s Superheroes (DC all the WAY!), and Spider-Man was always my least favorite of the bunch.  Still, the recent Marvel blockbusters have made me a (partial) convert—with one exception:  Spidey.  To this old comic-book lovin’ Unimonster, he still comes across as comical, almost a parody of superheroes.  Truthfully, I fell asleep during the last big-screen adaptation of Stan Lee’s most famous creation, and expected to do the same with this one.  No one was more surprised than I that, not only did I make it through the entire film (though some credit has to go to having two rambunctious teenagers in a tightly enclosed space … think ‘pair of chimps in a Gemini space capsule’), I actually enjoyed the movie.

Granted, I know next to nothing of the character’s back story, or the various comic-book iterations of it that exist.  Andrew Garfield did a very good job playing Spider-Man, but more importantly, he did a great job playing Peter Parker, the harder of the two roles.  To be the superhero, the man or woman in the mask, cape, or tights, is easy.  It’s all action.  All one has to do is be heroic.  It’s as their secret selves that you see the cost of being the hero, as with Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne.

Emma Stone (Garfield’s real-life girlfriend) plays Gwen Stacy, the love-interest of Parker / Spider-Man, as she is aware of his secret.  This threw me at first, as the little that I do recall of the comic book Spider-Man was that his girlfriend was named Mary Jane, but I was enlightened as to the discrepancy by the boys.  Stone gives a very good performance, and there’s no denying that she’s one of the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood.

The cast overall does an excellent job, aided by a superb script from Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, and Jeff Pinkner.  Kurtzman and Orci have been one of the most successful screenwriting duos of the last decade, penning the Transformers, Spider-Man, and Star Trek franchises to box-office gold.  Marc Webb does well as director; though to be honest, with this level of talent on board, it would be hard not to.

While Spider-Man will never be a favorite Superhero of mine, not even my favorite Marvel hero, this movie surprised me in just how much I enjoyed it.

The Uni-Nephew’s Review:  “The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was a very good movie.  It has many twists to it, and a very good story.”
The Rug-Monkey’s Review:  “The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was really amazing!”

One final word on the Tibbs Drive-In’s digital upgrade is in order.  The picture quality was very good, not as vast an improvement as you would see in a similar upgrade in a conventional theater, but that’s a function of the limited amount of light that can be projected onto the screen when that screen is a hundred or more yards away from the projector, as opposed to a hundred or so feet.  Still, I mourn the loss of film, and the idiosyncrasies associated with it.  Progress may be more efficient, but it’s nostalgia that stirs the heart.

DVD Review: Haunted Horror Double-Header: THE WOMAN IN BLACK and THE INNKEEPERS

Title:  Haunted Horror Double-Header:  THE WOMAN IN BLACK and THE INNKEEPERS

Year of Release—Film:  2012 / 2011

Year of Release—DVD:  2012 / 2012

DVD Label:  Sony Pictures Home Entertainment / MPI Media Group

One of the Unimonster’s favorite genres of Horror is the Ghost film—haunted houses, haunted people, ghostly places.  Unfortunately, that genre of late has fallen victim to the so-called “found footage” movie; that species of film inaugurated with the abysmal 1999 movie THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT.  Featuring grainy, out-of-focus video which looks as though your Uncle Carl shot it at the family reunion, the found footage movie exploded in popularity following the blockbuster success of 2007’s PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, which grossed more than $107 million on a budget of roughly $15,000.  Cheap to produce, the appeal of such movies to both studio execs and aspiring filmmakers is easy to see, and the Ghost genre is uniquely well-suited to such films.

As a fan of classic Horror, though, I find something lacking in most of these films.  Too often, the reduced cost of production means that scripts which would not have passed muster using the conventional studio process are being made into films, definitely a mixed blessing.  While it’s true that the major studio method of choosing which scripts to produce seems to involve eight men in suits killing anything that smacks of originality, it also manages to weed out the really bad ideas—the ones that really shouldn’t see the light of day, such as QUARANTINE, the thoroughly unnecessary remake of [REC].

That wasn’t always the case, of course—for more than fifty years Hollywood’s best and brightest worked in the genre, bringing us films such as THE HAUNTING, THE INNOCENTS, THE UNINVITED, GHOST STORY, THE LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE, and THE CHANGELING—films that delivered both scares and stories, quality horror and quality entertainment.  Recently, however, two Ghost films were released which harken back to those glory days of the ghost film: Ti West’s low-budget thriller THE INNKEEPERS, and the resurrected Hammer Films’ THE WOMAN IN BLACK.

According to the DVD cover, THE INNKEEPERS stars Sara Paxton, Pat Healy, and Kelly McGillis, though the real star of the film is the 121-year-old Yankee Pedlar Inn, in Torrington, Connecticut.  The inn, still a popular destination for tourists, played host to the cast and crew, and served as the primary location for filming.

Paxton and Healy play Claire and Luke, the last two workers at the inn, as it prepares to close its doors for good.  There’s little for them to do, as the hotel is virtually empty, and they spend most of their time playing pranks on each other and investigating the inn’s reputed haunting, by the ghost of a jilted bride named Madeline O’Malley.  O’Malley, so the legend goes, hung herself in her room many years ago, after being left at the altar by her fiancé.  The owner of the hotel, finding her body, hid it in the cellar to avoid the bad publicity.

Luke claims to have encountered the ghost, and Claire is envious of his experiences in the hotel.  They explore the inn, deserted save for a woman and her young son, with recording devices, hoping to capture proof of the haunting.  Into this peaceful, if morbid, setting comes a retired actress, Leanne Rease-Jones (Kelly McGillis), who now lectures on spiritualism and alternative healing.  She acts as a catalyst to Claire, inspiring her to seek out the spirits in the house with even more persistence.  In doing so, she realizes that, perhaps, the spirits don’t wish to be found.

The movie proceeds at a staid, lazy pace, something which will no doubt turn off a generation raised on YouTube clips.  For those of us of, say, a more experienced generation, who aren’t conditioned to expect three decapitations and a disembowelment before the opening credits, our patience will be rewarded.  The result is a good ghost story.  Not great, but certainly worth the price of admission—or rental.

The second feature on our double-bill is the movie that brought the words “Hammer Horror” surging back into the forefront of fandom.  The second film adaptation of Susan Hill’s 1983 novel of the same title, James Watkins’ THE WOMAN IN BLACK stars Daniel Radcliffe in his first post-HARRY POTTER role, along with Ciarán Hinds and Shaun Dooley.  The story is superbly adapted by screenwriter Jane Goldman, and Watkins crafts an excellent film using what has always been Hammer’s strengths:  Quality acting and creating the perfect period atmosphere.

Arthur Kipps (Radcliffe) is a London solicitor struggling to overcome the emotional disaster of his wife’s death during childbirth.  He’s raising his young son alone, and while he’s a loving, devoted father, the rest of his life is spiraling downward.  His job performance has declined to the point where he’s been given one last chance to save his career.  A client of his employer’s has recently died, and he has been assigned the task of journeying to her home on Eel Marsh Island to inventory her papers and belongings.  His employer makes it clear—if he fails to complete this charge, his services will no longer be required.

Upon his arrival in the village of Eel Marsh, Kipps is greeted with distrust, suspicion, and outright hostility by the locals.  Only Sam Daily (Hinds, in a superb performance that should be recognized in award season but probably won’t) and his wife Elisabeth show him any kindness and hospitality.  His efforts to carry out his duties out on the island are hampered by factors both geographical and human.  First, the island is more of a high point on the salt water marsh, approachable only by a narrow causeway.  When the tide is in, the causeway is flooded and impassable.  Even this obstacle is made more difficult to overcome by the fact that no local will go anywhere near the island, or the manor house which occupies it.

Shortly after his arrival, Kipps begins seeing a mysterious figure, a woman dressed entirely in black mourning garb.  After each appearance, tragedy strikes the small village, and the reason for the villagers’ hostility becomes apparent.  But, mindful of his employer’s warning, Arthur continues his work at Eel Marsh House.  Soon, he discovers the cause of the troubles, but can he correct the injustice done in time to quiet the vengeful ghost—and save himself?

The cast is excellent, led by Radcliffe and Hinds.  Radcliffe is a bit young for the part of Arthur Kipps, but still manages to pull it off rather neatly; and Ciarán Hinds is by far the best actor in the film.  And the cast can’t help but shine given the overall quality of the production.  It’s as though it were filmed at the old Bray Studios, Hammer’s former home; the atmosphere is pure, vintage Hammer, and I love it.  Anyone who loves classic Horror should have this film in their collection.

So, while summer mega-budget, Super-Hero blockbusters fill the local Cineplexes, remember that there are options out there for those craving a good, old-fashioned, spine-tingle or two.

Back from the Dead: the Return of Hammer Horror

Beginning in the late 1950s, and continuing into the 1970s, one studio was synonymous with the production and distribution of Classic Horror films, those films featuring the creatures of gothic nightmares—vampires, werewolves, witches, and the walking dead.  Just as Universal held the title of the “House that Horror Built” in the ‘30s and ‘40s, Hammer Films was the source for gothic horror throughout my childhood.  I was on a first-name basis with Christopher Lee’s Dracula long before I met Bela Lugosi’s, and to this day, for me at least, Peter Cushing is the definitive Dr. Frankenstein.

Unfortunately, Hammer’s popularity on the big screen never quite translated into long-term financial security.  Though its films generated huge box office revenues (Hammer’s 1957 movie CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, the film which started Hammer’s reign as the king of horror, was for many years Britain’s most profitable domestic production), most of that money found its way to the overseas distributors, many of whom had fronted the cost of production for the films.  This left the studio, under the direction of Michael Carreras, in a rather precarious position.  As long as there was sufficient overseas demand for their product, primarily in the US, then the funding was readily available for the studio to maintain production.  However, this often left the studio without the ownership of the movies it produced, and without the potential revenue such movies would generate in re-release.  It also meant that, when the US market for classic Horror began to dry up in the mid-1970s, so did Hammer’s primary source of capital.  Hammer’s last feature was 1976’s TO THE DEVIL A DAUGHTER, directed by Peter Sykes.  An attempt to capitalize on the popularity of demonic-themed Horror films following the blockbuster successes of ROSEMARY’S BABY, THE EXORCIST, RACE WITH THE DEVIL, and THE OMEN, Hammer’s entry into the sub-genre was a case of too little, too late.  Except for the occasional television program produced for the British market, Hammer Films, for all intents and purposes, ceased to exist.

However, as is the case with any good horror tale, the dead have an aversion to remaining buried.  In May of 2007, the rights to Hammer’s name, as well as their library of titles, were purchased by Dutch producer John De Mol.  The resurrected studio’s first feature production was 2010’s LET ME IN, the remake of the highly-acclaimed Swedish Vampire film LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (LÅT DEN RÄTTE KOMMA IN) from 2008.  That success (though the film earned a meager $13 million at the box-office, both critics and fans raved over it) was quickly followed up by 2011’s THE RESIDENT, a psychological thriller which reunited the great Christopher Lee with the studio that made him a Horror icon.  Starring Hilary Swank and Jeffery Dean Morgan, and directed by Antii Jokinen, it wasn’t as well received as LET ME IN.  Still, Hammer Films was back on the map, a return given an implied blessing by the inclusion of Lee in the cast.  And its biggest success was yet to come.

Based on the 1983 novel by Susan Hill (which had previously been adapted for the screen in 1989), THE WOMAN IN BLACK was the reborn studio’s most ambitious project to date.  The first post-HARRY POTTER feature for star Daniel Radcliffe, Hammer started filming on the project in late September 2010, on a budget of $17 million.  Radcliffe stars as Arthur Kipps, a young solicitor (the British term for lawyer) dispatched to a small coastal village to settle the estate of a recently-deceased woman.  From the moment of his arrival, Kipps is made aware that his presence is unwelcome, and that nothing would please the villagers more than his immediate return to London.  Determined to accomplish his task (indeed, his job depends upon it), Kipps finds himself drawn deeper into a supernatural mystery that seems to involve the entire village.

THE WOMAN IN BLACK, directed by James Watkins, is a rarity for these modern times:  A good, old-fashioned gothic ghost story.  Opting for genuine scares, rather than buckets of gore and cheap shocks, Watkins crafted a thrilling film that succeeded with both critics and fans.  With an opening weekend gross of over $20 million (placing it second for the weekend only to the teen Sci-Fi film CHRONICLE), laudatory reviews from critics, and an enthusiastic response from fans, Hammer 2.0 had its first blockbuster success.  The film ended its theatrical run with a $54 million domestic gross, and $127 million internationally.  Not since Hammer’s glory days had they seen success of that caliber, and they aren’t done yet.

Recently, Hammer has placed several films into production … John Pogue’s THE QUIET ONES; BONESHAKER, a co-production with Cross Creek Pictures; GASLIGHT; and a sequel to THE WOMAN IN BLACK, subtitled ANGELS OF DEATH.  They’ve also branched out into publishing, in partnership with Random House, and have even announced plans for a visitor attraction.  As owner of the vast Hammer library of titles, the new version of the studio should have the one vital ingredient to bring its plans to fruition; the one ingredient its predecessor lacked—a viable source of steady revenue.

As someone who loves classic horror, and who has been a life-long fan of the type of Horror films that were the hallmark of the original Hammer, it’s my sincere hope that they succeed in their plans.  Enough of torture-porn, “found footage,” and vampires taken from the pre-adolescent fantasies of young girls.  Give me ghosts, ghouls, mummies, werewolves, vampires who look like vampires.

Give me Hammer Horror once again.

DVD Review: John Carpenter's THE WARD

Title:  John Carpenter’s THE WARD

Year of Release—Film:  2010

Year of Release—DVD:  2011

DVD Label:  Arc Entertainment

John Carpenter is, in this reviewer’s opinion at least, one of the three or four greatest living creators of Horror films; certainly one of the top ten such individuals of all time.  His filmography reads like a list of the essential Horror films of the last 35 years—HALLOWEEN; THE FOG; THE THING; CHRISTINE; PRINCE OF DARKNESS.  Though he has occasionally stumbled (the 1995 remake of VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED springs to mind), the same can be said of every great director, and the hits far outweigh the misses on his ledger.  Thus it can be safely said that when a new feature of his comes out, especially his first feature since 2001’s GHOSTS OF MARS, I for one pay attention.

Starring Amber Heard, Jared Harris, and Danielle Panabaker, and written by Michael and Shawn Rasmussen, the production is highlighted by a talented cast, guided by Carpenter’s expert hand.  Heard stars as Kristen, whom we meet at the scene of farmhouse, fully involved in flames.  Police show up, and proceed to wrestle her into submission, throwing her into the back of the squad car.  She’s taken to an asylum, where she encounters a group of young women, similarly incarcerated.  From the first night, Kristen notices strange occurrences—the impression that someone is in her room at night, ghostly apparitions that seem to stalk her, and a secret that the others seem to share, a secret that concerns a girl named Alice, and how she “got out,” of the institution.  The deeper Kristen delves into the mystery, the closer she comes to discovering the root of her own madness, and the memories she has locked away.

I’ve already stated that the cast and the director did an excellent job with the material they were given.  Unfortunately, that material simply wasn’t up to the standards of such a talented director.  It’s not that the script was bad … it’s just that it wasn’t in any way original.  It was like watching every other psychological horror film of the past decade—GOTHIKA, IDENTITY, SHUTTER ISLAND, THE UNINVITED—and there simply was no surprise left in the premise.  It was well-executed, yes … but it hardly needed the skills of John Carpenter to translate this derivative, hackneyed script to the big screen, much as you wouldn’t choose Gordon Ramsay to assemble a Big Mac.

As I stated earlier, I’m a huge fan of Carpenter’s, and was overjoyed by his return to Horror filmmaking.  I just wish the project he chose for that return had been worthy of him.  I’ll give this one a qualified Rent recommendation, but unless you’re a Carpenter completist, then I’d leave my cash in my pocket.