Welcome to the Crypt!

Welcome to the Crypt!

Enter the Crypt as John "The Unimonster" Stevenson and his merry band of ghouls rants and raves about the current state of Horror, as well as reviews Movies, Books, DVD's and more, both old and new.

From the Desk of the Unimonster...

From the Desk of the Unimonster...

Welcome everyone to the Unimonster’s Crypt! Well, the winter’s chill has settled into the Crypt, and your friendly Unimonster won’t stop shivering until May! To take my mind off the cold, we’re going to take a trip into the future … the future of Star Trek! Star Trek was the Unimonster’s first love, and we’ll examine that in this week’s essay. We’ll also inaugurate a new continuing column for The Unimonster’s Crypt, one written by the Uni-Nephew himself! This week he examines one of his favorite films, one that, quite frankly, failed to impress his uncle, Jordan Peele’s Nope. So enjoy the reading and let us hear from you, live long and prosper, and … STAY SCARY!

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Showing posts with label Originally Published in From the Unimonster's Crypt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Originally Published in From the Unimonster's Crypt. Show all posts

05 October, 2014

Hacking through Haddonfield: How HALLOWEEN Gave Birth to a Genre

(Originally Published in 2006)

Though my preferences usually run more in the Classic vein of Horror, every so often I feel the need to inject a little blood and gore into the mix.  Usually, I’ll pull out a Bava or Fulci film, or, depending on my mood, one of De Ossorio’s Blind Dead movies.  The European “Lost Cannibal Tribe” films of the ‘70’s are always good for plenty of blood & guts, though they aren't for most tastes.  For more recent fare, there’s no shortage of filmmakers who tend towards the gorier aspects of Horror.  Takashi Miike, director of the Japanese cult hit Ôdishon —aka— Audition, has developed quite a reputation as a director who pushes the boundaries with his films.  The Spanish filmmaker Nacho Cerdà has repeatedly blown through those boundaries, most notably with his short film Aftermath.

Domestically, the movies of Herschell Gordon Lewis never fail to keep me entertained, even if calling them “B-Pictures” is paying them an undue compliment.  I’ve always had a soft spot for bad movies, and H. G. Lewis would’ve given Ed Wood a run for his money in that department.  Romero’s Dead films are always an option for gore, as are the films of Wes Craven, Tobe Hooper, and Clive Barker.  Currently, directors such as Eli Roth and Rob Zombie are keeping Hollywood’s manufacturers of fake blood in clover.

Of course, we also have the teen slasher films so popular in the ‘70’s, ‘80’s and ‘90’s … franchises such as Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and the first and best of the Unstoppable Slasher movies, John Carpenter’s Halloween.

Thought of today primarily for being the film that introduced us to Jamie Lee Curtis, Halloween should instead be remembered for having given birth to the uniquely American sub-genre of the standard slasher films, a curious sub-genre that I refer to as the “Unstoppable Slasher” movies.  Jason might have gotten the glory, and Freddy the best lines, but Michael beat them both to the punch.  And, in addition to being the first, he was by far the best.

Horror Fans today, long since jaded by multiple sequels, prequels, and even a cross-over, rightfully view each new iteration of these masters of massacre as nothing more than the lowest form of Horror, the cinematic equivalent of a Big Mac and fries… in truth, just more evidence of Hollywood’s contempt for the loyal fans of Horror Films.

But that overlooks just how good … just how influential, these films were when they premiered.  Halloween gave birth to a genre, and resurrected the Franchise concept that had been so successful for both Universal and Hammer Films.  Fans today might decry the never-ending parade of sequels that these films became, and not without reason.  But that fails to acknowledge that there is a reason that Halloween, and films like it, became franchises in the first place:  Because the original movie was so damn good.

If Slasher films are the American version of Italy’s Giallos, then John Carpenter is the American Bava.  One of the best directors in Horror today, as he has been since 1978, Carpenter has been responsible for some of the greatest Genre films of the past thirty years.  The Fog, The Thing, Christine, The Prince of Darkness … all have served to demonstrate the range and ability of Carpenter, and Halloween is, at least in my opinion, his masterwork.  Though not as polished and professional in appearance as his later films, the film’s raw, rough edge helped make it one of the most effective Horror Films of all-time, and the best of the Slasher genre.  The minimalist plot; the silent, emotionless killer; the teen-agers trapped in a peril they’re not even aware of, and Loomis’ absolute conviction that his patient is the physical embodiment of evil.  All of these factors combine to produce a truly suspenseful film—one that slowly builds into a frightening climax while not depending on the cheap, throwaway shocks that would become the hallmark of movies of this type.

This soon became one of the most successful films of the ‘70’s, and was, for a long time, the top-grossing Independent film of all time.  Though it gave rise to a series of sequels, none were helmed by anyone with a hint of Carpenter’s talent, and the series declined rapidly.

A year and a half after the premiere of Halloween, Friday the 13th made its debut.  Directed by prolific producer Sean S. Cunningham, and owing much to Halloween, F13 was nevertheless a tremendously good movie in it’s own right… not up to the quality of the former film, but easily the best of a weak year for Horror.  The film was hugely successful, well beyond the anticipation of the producers, and a string of sequels soon followed.  Friday the 13thPart II, released one year after the first film, introduced us to Jason Voorhees, the champion of the Slasher circuit, who’s still in business 25 years later.  Yet another sequel is currently in pre-production, with a 2007 release planned.

Four years after F13 began its domination of the sub-genre, Wes Craven gave us his take on the theme with the wisecracking, knife-gloved, ghost-of-a-psychopathic-pedophile Freddy Krueger, in Nightmare on Elm Street.

Craven, certainly the most commercially successful of the great Horror directors that arose in the late ‘60’s-early ‘70’s, predictably took the Unstoppable Slasher movies in a new direction with Freddy, and would resurrect the sub-genre 12 years later with the innovative, and much-copied, Scream.


There were other attempts to create similar horror franchises … the Candyman movies, a doll named Chucky, even a Leprechaun and a Genie.  Some of these movies were actually pretty good.  Most weren't.  But none ever equaled Halloween—the night Michael came home for the first time.





03 April, 2010

The Last Drive-In?

ARTICLE TITLE: The Last Drive-In?


It cannot be a secret to my regular readers that I have a special affinity for Drive-In theaters, and the type of films that used to be their staple product. Some of my fondest memories from childhood are associated with Drive-Ins, and I love going to the Drive-In to this day.

However, Drive-In’s are a dying breed, and have been since the ‘60’s. Many factors contributed to this decline, and I don’t intend for this to be an in-depth look at the socio-economic causes for the death of the Drive-In. Instead, I want to talk about the death of just one… my local Drive-In.
Three summers ago as I write these words, the speakers at Clermont Drive-In went silent forever, as they ended their last season. Many events played a part in the Clermont’s demise, from sagging attendance to skyrocketing property taxes, and the owners could no longer contest the issue. The knowledge that the Clermont’s neighbor, a large auto-racing venue, was interested in the property for development finally won out.

When the news came that this would be the Clermont’s final season, it brought home to me the fact that so many of these institutions have disappeared in recent years, as real estate development swallowed whole the large tracts of land required for even a single screen outdoor theater. To the best of my knowledge, there’s only one Drive-In still operating within an hour’s drive of my home.

Now, it had been several years since I’ve been to the Clermont, though it was a favorite Friday night ritual for my ex-wife and I. It was cheap; it was convenient; we could load up the car with our own drinks and food; and we could relax and enjoy the movies, much more comfortably than we could in an indoor theater. For me, the Drive-In experience was part of my childhood, part of my love for genre movies.

I’ve written previously here regarding some of my early Drive-In trips… how my older sister used to sneak my brother and I in hidden in the trunk, how the first time I saw Romero’s NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD was during an all-night horror-thon at the Atlantic Drive-In; and of how much I love the whole Drive-In culture. There’s so much to be said for the whole concept of the outdoor theater… the pleasure of relaxing under the stars, nestled close to someone special; the value of bringing your own snacks in with you, not having to fork over five bucks for a coke or three-fifty for a box of popcorn; the comfort attendant in watching the movie from your own enclosed space, rather than crammed into small theater seats surrounded by obnoxious strangers. In so many ways, it is the ultimate way to enjoy a movie… especially those Horror, Sci-Fi, and Exploitation movies that have long been the staple diet of the Drive-In nation.

Like many of the treasured memories of my younger days, the Drive-In is a rapidly disappearing landmark, receding into the distance of my rear-view mirror. That’s really too bad, because that robs future generations of one of the greatest simple pleasures of my youth, and robs me of yet another touchstone to happier times.




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DVD Review: TARGETS

Title: TARGETS ~aka~ BEFORE I DIE

Year of Release—Film: 1968

Year of Release—DVD: 2003

DVD Label: Paramount



THE MOVIE

When you think of the films of Roger Corman, this probably isn’t the first one that comes to mind. In fact, most fans would be hard pressed to identify this as one of Corman’s (famous for ultra-cheap creature designs and period Poe adaptations…) titles. However, not only does it belong to him, it just might be the best movie to list “Roger Corman” anywhere in the credits. Though the film is far from the typical Corman production, how it came about is vintage Roger.

With Boris Karloff under contract for two days worth of work, Corman told Director Peter Bogdanovich that he could make whatever film he desired, as long as he: One, used up the time left on Karloff’s contract, and two, used stock footage from THE TERROR (1963) to save money. Bogdanovich came up with this, an excellent film and Karloff’s finest performance of latter portion of his career.

The plot is layered and complex, based in part on the Charles Whitman case in Texas. On August 1st, 1966, Whitman, a deranged Architectural student at the University of Texas in Austin climbed to the observation deck of the University Clock Tower with a stockpile of weapons, food, and ammunition and proceeded to kill 14 people, while wounding 30 or so. Police and armed citizens finally stormed the tower, killing Whitman. Bogdanovich skillfully weaves this plot thread with one concerning the decision by an elderly Horror star (Karloff, in a perfect performance…) to retire from public life, following one last live appearance at a southern California Drive-In. The two threads run in their paths, seemingly unconnected until brought together at the last.

This is a great movie, and it easily qualifies as Karloff’s best work since 1945’s THE BODY-SNATCHER. It should, as he was basically portraying himself. It’s difficult not to draw parallels between Karloff’s Byron Orlok, and John Wayne’s John Bernard Books in his final film, THE SHOOTIST. Both men are in the end portraying, if not themselves, then the public’s perception of who they are, or rather, were. There’s a poignancy to both performances, a sadness that transcends the events of the movies themselves. We, the viewers, know that both men, both icons, will soon be gone, and this time there will be no director yelling “Cut, print!” and setting up for the next shot.



THE DISC

The Paramount DVD is the high-quality offering you’d expect from a major distributor, and really is without flaw. The transfer is beautiful and clear, presented in anamorphic widescreen. There are even subtitles; always a factor in my enjoyment of a disc. Overall, it’s a great DVD treatment.



THE SPECIAL FEATURES

Though the list of special features is not long, what’s there is well-done and informative. There’s an introductory documentary featuring the screenwriter / director, Peter Bogdanovich, discussing the making of the film, and while there’s nothing earth-shattering in the short, it is an interesting look at one of this troubled director’s earliest works.

Likewise the commentary, also by Bogdanovich, contains little that might be revelatory. While it’s interesting enough, listening to a one-person commentary, no matter how informative, can be too much like attending a film-school lecture to be truly enjoyable.

Personally, I would have enjoyed a few deleted scenes, or maybe reminiscences from cast and crew about working with the Master himself.



IN CONCLUSION

Though this is not the usual type of film that I review, I felt it was important enough to discuss it here, especially in light of it’s historical context. Few will argue that Boris Karloff, in his prime, was the brightest star in the Horror firmament. He certainly was one of the most gifted actors to ever work in genre films, and this performance does much to confirm that opinion. With a $9.99 list price (Deep Discount DVD has it for as low as $5.99…) you can’t afford NOT to own this one.















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07 November, 2009

DVD Review: THE ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER

Title: THE ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER

Year of Release—Film: 1957

Year of Release—DVD: 2000

DVD Label: Image Entertainment




There are bad movies, and then there are Bad movies… movies that are so unintentionally awful that they’re actually enjoyable. THE ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER is certainly one of the latter.

Directed by Ronald Ashcroft from a script by Frank Hall, TASM has a fairly standard plot for the late ‘50’s, with an alien who has landed on earth encountering a small group of humans to battle for domination of the planet. The differences are that here, the alien invader is a gorgeous female in a skin-tight bodysuit, and the humans she encounters are far from our best and brightest, as was the norm for these films.

The film stars Robert Clarke as a scientist whose mountain cabin is invaded twice, first by a band of gangsters running from the law with a kidnapped heiress. Soon, however, they realize that they are not alone on the mountain, and that all their lives are endangered. They must work together to overcome their mutual enemy or die.

While the dialogue is terrible, and the acting would seem sub-par in a high-school production, the conflict among the inhabitants of the cabin is interesting, as is She-Monster herself. She was nearly a great deal more interesting, as a tight budget, tight schedule, and most importantly a tight costume combined to cause Shirley Kilpatrick to perform some contortions to conceal the fact that the costume’s seams had given way in the back. Overall, the film is a good one for fans of Classic B-movie Cheese; not good, but not so bad that you can’t enjoy it.

The Image Entertainment disc is typical of the company’s releases… better than average, though not by a large margin. I’m assuming that the print used for the transfer is the best one extant; if not, then that is a major problem. The picture varies in quality from merely decent to dark and grainy. Fully understandable in a nearly fifty-year old film, but some effort should’ve gone in to cleaning it up more.

However, other than the poor picture quality the disc is about as good as you could expect. One complaint I do have, and this is common among older B-movies released to DVD, is the lack of either subtitles or closed captioning. Frequently, the audio is of as poor quality as the video, and if you’re even slightly hearing-impaired, as am I, understanding the dialogue can be difficult. The difference between a captioned film and one without may be minor, but the subtitles greatly enhance my enjoyment, and are missed when not present.

This is easy—simply put, there are none. Well, there is the theatrical trailer for the film, and a rather complete set of liner notes, well-written and informative. But this isn’t a DVD you’ll pick up because of the bonus features.

The purpose of any review, at least in my opinion, is to give you the information you need to decide whether or not you should plop down your hard-earned cash on a book, or a movie ticket, or, as in this case, a DVD. Just like most of you, I work hard for a living, and on those occasions when I have some extra money to put down for a new disc for the collection, the last thing I want is to feel that I’ve been ripped-off. So I’ll only give you the straight, unvarnished truth about any DVD I review.

So the question is “Should you rush out to buy this one?” No… at least, not at it’s $14.99 list price. And not unless you are familiar with 1950’s B-movies in general, or else you might feel disappointed when you get it into your player. But there are plenty of retailers and e-tailers who have this one priced a lot lower than fifteen bucks. DeepDiscount DVD has it for less than eleven, and it’s at Amazon for about fourteen.

Still, it gets down to how much you love the cheesy old low-budget horrors of the ‘50’s and ‘60’s, and whether or not the words “Ed Wood—Creative Consultant” fire up your desire to see this one. If so, then by all means grab it. But remember, grab it cheap.




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DVD Review: SNAKES ON A PLANE

Title: SNAKES ON A PLANE

Year of Release—Film: 2006

Year of Release—DVD: 2007

DVD Label: New Line Home Entertainment



I’ve learned to be suspicious of Hollywood hype. The more I’m told how great a movie will be, the less likely it will be that it is. A perfect case in point: THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. After months of being told that it was the greatest Horror movie since Edison first threaded film onto a projector, I finally saw it… and realized that I could’ve shot a better film with a drunken chimpanzee as my D. P. Thus I had no burning desire to see the aptly-named SNAKES ON A PLANE when it hit theaters last August. Logic told me that any film subjected to the overwhelming flood of hype that it had received just had to be a Grade-A crapfest; the cinematic equivalent of Paris Hilton. Having just watched the DVD, I now believe that might be too kind a description, and offer my apologies to Ms. Hilton for the comparison.

I will say this for the film: You definitely get Truth-in-Advertising with the title. You’re promised SNAKES ON A PLANE, and by damn that’s what you get. I’d rather have a comprehensible plot, decent acting, and competent directing… but they didn’t promise that. At first glance, the idea is appealing… an airliner, thousands of miles from land, infested with venomous reptiles. Given a good, or even plausible, script, it could’ve been a decent movie. Even with this hodge-podge of jump cuts and shock scenes, a good cast might have made something watchable out of it. Instead, we’re just supposed to believe that, on short notice, a crate full of poisonous snakes, smuggled into Hawaii from California, is loaded onto an airliner… along with an explosive device to release them at the proper time. You can’t board an airplane with nail clippers anymore, and the last time I flew I nearly had to answer the question “boxers or briefs?” for the entire airport to see, but they were able to sneak what amounts to a snake-bomb onboard a plane at the last minute. If you’re capable of doing all that, then why bother with the snakes?

With a decent cast and strong direction, even this ludicrous concept might have worked… God knows I’ve seen worse. But not even Samuel L. Jackson and Juliana Margulies can save this stinkfest, and with direction this sure and competent, David R. Ellis must have been the skipper of the Titanic in a past life. Jackson, who can be a great actor when called upon, demonstrates that he’s also capable of sleepwalking through a film; a remarkable feat, considering he delivers every line at a full-volume shout. Margulies, whose descent into obscurity continues unchecked since her departure from ER, does nothing to halt that slide here, and there are no standouts among the rest of the easily-forgotten cast.

The only positives I can find in this movie are technical in nature. The use of live snakes for most of the shots is especially pleasing. Snakes are extremely hard to model convincingly in CGI, (remember ANACONDA?) and the live snakes impart a much-needed dose of reality to the film. They also provide the lion’s share of the acting talent present in the film. Another high point is the accuracy of the 747 flight deck and passenger cabin sets. Airliners are seldom as large as they are made to appear in the movies, and rarely do films accurately capture the look and feel of the flight deck (or cockpit…) on aircraft. The production design team did an excellent job on this one, capturing just how claustrophobic and small even the massive fuselage of a Boeing 747-400 can be.

New Line Home Entertainment may be the current equivalent of American International Pictures, but they do put out a nice DVD. The audio and video quality is good, though there was some minor pixilation on my disc. There are multiple sound and subtitle options, which is nice. Overall, it equates to a very nice frame… for a landscape of a garbage dump.

I’ve got to admit, this disc does come loaded with extras, some more entertaining than the movie itself. You have Deleted and Alternate scenes, though considering the scenes that made the cut I sure don’t want to see what didn’t. There are several Documentary featurettes, including SNAKES ON A BLOG, an examination of the internet phenomena that the film inspired. The best of these are a look at the snakes themselves, and how the handlers controlled the interaction between the human and animal actors.

Once again, though, you don’t buy a DVD for the extras, and no matter how good the special features are, they can’t make up for a movie as bad as this one.

Regular readers of CreatureScape know that I have nothing against bad movies… hell, I’ve turned my love of cheesy, crappy films into a writing career. All I ask, of any movie, is simply that it entertain me, and doesn’t insult my intelligence. SNAKES ON A PLANE fails both tests. I can’t even recommend this as a bargain rental. Remember people, I bought this DVD so that you won’t have to!




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06 June, 2009

Aurora’s Monster Models

As many devoted Horror fans also enjoy building model kits of their favorite monsters, most are well aware that Modeling is not an inexpensive hobby. At a bare minimum, a decent resin kit from a reputable company will run 50-60 dollars, and the average would be well over $100. Add in tools, paints, and time, and we could easily spend thousands on this hobby we love.

But that wasn’t always the case. When I started building models, resin and vinyl kits were virtually non-existent. Airbrushes and moto-tools were unimagined luxuries, glue came in red and white tubes and paints came in little square bottles with “Testor’s” on the cap. My first kit was ancient even in 1972… Monogram’s 1/72 scale Curtiss P-36 Hawk. I doubt that I paid more than 75¢ for it, and the finished product was hardly worth bragging about. But I was instantly hooked on a hobby that I still enjoy 37 years later.

In those days I built everything and anything… from the crappy Hawk box-scale airplanes, to Monogram TBF Avengers with a torpedo that actually dropped from the bomb bay, to Aurora’s Russian Golf-class Missile Submarine. I even tried my hand at the Visible Eye… and wound up with something not even Lasik could save. But given my natural affinity for the monsters, it was only a matter of time before I found the fantastic Monster kits from Aurora.

Anyone who was a regular reader of Famous Monsters in the ‘60’s and ‘70’s will remember the ads for these kits… Dracula and Frankenstein, the Wolf-Man and the Mummy, the skeletal Prisoner chained to the section of dungeon wall, even a scraggly-toothed, wart-nosed witch, hard at work stirring a bubbling cauldron. Famous Monsters #59, November 1969, lists several of the monster kits in the Glow-in-the-Dark style for the princely sum of $1.49… quite a bit of money when you consider that you could get a perfectly good airplane or car kit for half that.

But the monsters of Aurora were hard to ignore, and, as soon as I saw one for sale at my neighborhood Pic-n-Save, I had to have it. It was, luckily, my favorite monster, the Mummy. But I wouldn’t have cared which monster I wound up with… I just wanted one of them. Somehow, I came up with enough money to buy it. How, I’m not sure; I am sure that it was no mean feat on a dollar a week allowance. How much I paid for the kit is a mystery; I doubt I could have told you the next morning the price of the model. I had one, and that was all I cared about.

When I got home with my prize, I rushed to my room and opened the box. The figure seemed huge compared to the kits I was used to building, though simple to assemble… a definite plus at that stage in my modeling experience. I can’t recall much detail about the kit, other than the Mummy was undeniably Kharis. I don’t remember what color plastic it was molded in, or how good the quality was. I just remember the joy of building it.

I later added other monsters to the collection, as well as some of the MPC Pirates of the Caribbean and AMT/Ertl Star Trek kits. There was a Tarzan along the way, as well as a Spock, a Batman, and others. Eventually, Aurora folded, the monster kits went away, and I returned to the B-17G’s, M60A1’s, and Federation Starships that I loved.

Now, some thirty-seven years later, those Aurora monsters are hot collector’s items, going for thirty to fifty dollars, unbuilt. Companies such as Polar Lights have issued their own versions of those kits, and high-quality resin and vinyl monster kits abound. These kits, especially the latter, are so far above the old Auroras in terms of quality and accuracy that comparing the two is akin to comparing a ’78 Ford Pinto to a brand-new Mercedes S-class. I just wish I could afford them.

Yes, the new kits are better in terms of quality, better in terms of accuracy, better in terms of choice of subject matter. The only thing they don’t do better is inspire joy and wonder in the mind of an eight-year-old boy.






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14 March, 2009

Give Me Those Old-Time Vampires, They’re Good Enough For Me…

It’s become the trend, ever since the mid-‘90’s, to portray vampires and werewolves as members of huge, underground assemblages, with armies that do battle, governments and leaders, whole societies that exist sub-rosa. BLADE and UNDERWORLD are two recent franchises that popularize this societal view of these classic monsters. But how did this trend begin, and more importantly, how do we end it?

1987 was a big year in the shift towards this new vision of vampires as social creatures. Its true start was THE LOST BOYS, a seminal vampire movie. NEAR DARK, released the same year, continued the non-traditional view of vampires, even to the point that the word “vampire” doesn’t even appear in the film. That trend ran throughout the ‘90’s and into this decade, culminating in the two UNDERWORLD movies.

Speaking personally, while I more or less enjoyed most of these films, I’m quite frankly over the ‘societal’ view of our classic monsters. The sight of groups of vampires and werewolves doing battle with automatic weapons like a common street gang just doesn’t work for me any more. I’m not sure it ever did.

Vampires shouldn’t live in ritzy, million-dollar Manhattan condos, or travel around in executive helicopters. They certainly shouldn’t need Glock 23’s in order to deal with their foes. Did Lugosi ever feel the need to slip a Chief’s Special into the pocket of his tuxedo? I think not.

Reinventing the monsters does seem to be the big thing in Hollywood these days. Columbia got the ball rolling with their “Americanized” GODZILLA, known less than affectionately as “GINO”, (i.e., Godzilla In Name Only…) Beginning with Stephen Sommers’ blockbuster remake of THE MUMMY (1999), most of the great Universal monsters have received make-overs, with varying degrees of success. Sommers’ VAN HELSING gave us new looks for Frankenstein’s Monster, Count Dracula, and the Wolf-Man, as well as a rather Shrek-like Mr. Hyde. Now, I’m not jumping on the “Bash VAN HELSING” bandwagon here. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure that I’ll say it again—I believe that the people who were disappointed by the film were expecting something from Sommers they simply weren’t going to get, and that is a good, frightening Horror Film. Anyone familiar with this director’s work would know what to expect from him in this case: RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, with monsters. And that’s precisely what was delivered.

Moreover, it’s a continuing trend. Universal’s long-rumored remake of THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, originally due in 2009, has been pushed back to no earlier than 2011, but according to recent statements from screenwriter Gary Ross, it’s still on track. It’s not yet been decided whether the Creature will be live-action or CGI, but I doubt that he’ll look anything like the beloved Gill-man of our memories. And we should see a new version of THE WOLF-MAN this year, played by Benicio Del Toro, who most certainly won’t be the familiar Larry Talbot.

But these reinventions have dealt primarily with the looks and abilities of our favorite monsters. VAN HELSING’s Dracula, overwrought histronics and bad hair aside, was still recognizable as the greatest of the undead. He lived in a castle, and did his flying by bat’s wing, not Boeing. Arnold Vosloo’s Imhotep may have been, supernaturally speaking, far more powerful than Karloff’s Ardeth Bey, but they were recognizable as the same character. Without being told and with the sound turned down, would you realize that UNDERWORLD was a vampire vs. werewolf movie, or would you think you were watching MATRIX: REDUNDANCY? There may be a valid reason to have your vampires packing heat, waging turf battles with Mac-10 toting werewolves. There may also be a valid reason for eating Soy-burgers.

However, you can put me down as opposed to both.

























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24 May, 2008

When Science Attacks—The Sci-Fi Horror of the 1950’s



Every decade has its defining horror themes. In the early days of the genre, it was the German expressionists who dominated the imagery of horror, with films by directors such as Wiene, Murnau, and Lang setting the tone, and providing influences that would last well into the ‘40’s.

The ‘60’s were defined at the very beginning, by an oedipal peeping-tom in an out of the way motel, and a murder in a shower unlike anything Hollywood had put to film before. The movie was, of course, PSYCHO, and Hitchcock’s masterpiece began a movement towards a new realism in horror. This was marked by a willingness to explore heretofore taboo subjects in Horror Films, with graphic depictions of blood, gore, nudity, sex, and of course, violence, driving these explorations. The decade that began with PSYCHO ended with films such as ROSEMARY’S BABY, TARGETS, and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, and along the way, horror grew up.

And what, you may ask, defined Horror during the decade of the 1950’s? Simple… Science defined horror during the ‘50’s. Science was the threat, and science was the savior.

Perhaps this was a natural reaction, considering that we were barely five years removed from World War II when the 1950’s began, a war that was the first in which science and technology played an overwhelming role in securing victory. From Radar, to Jet engines, to the Atomic bombs that ended the war, never had there been such technological growth in so short a span of time. The war that began with Polish Lancers making cavalry charges gave way to ballistic missiles falling on London.

These memories were still fresh in the minds of movie going audiences as the decade began, and though science had undoubtedly contributed to the Allied victory, the other side, in the form of Stalin’s Soviet Union, had much the same technology. In 1949, the Soviets detonated their first Atomic weapon, and the Cold War began in earnest. This provided filmmakers with the pervasive subtext of the decade, Us versus Them.

Whether the threat was an invading alien, a mutated insect, or an evil scientist, the threat struck at the American way of life, embodied in a variety of forms. The location might be in an arctic research station, the New Mexico desert, or a Coney Island amusement park, but it was Americana under attack, and the indomitable American spirit was always equal to the challenge.

The first great movie of the decade was the Howard Hawk / Christian Nyby film THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD. The prototype of the Alien Invasion genre, THE THING… is a claustrophobic film, with nearly all the action contained within the station itself. This aids in building the feeling of the Threat from outside, so common to the films of the ‘50’s.

In addition, the pacing is very rapid, grabbing hold of the viewer and dragging him along to the fantastic conclusion, which sees the invader destroyed by good, old-fashioned American courage and ingenuity. This combination of factors pulls the viewer into the film, heightening the sense of “Us vs. Them”.

Another film that even more dramatically illustrated that theme was 1956’s INVASION OF THE BODY-SNATCHERS, directed by Don Siegel. Produced at the height of the McCarthy hearings before the House Un-American Activities Committee, it reflected perfectly the fears and suspicions of the time. Here, the horror was more subtle, but far more pronounced. The enemy wasn’t simply an invader from another world; it was us, and all we had to do to lose the fight was to fall asleep. The thought of falling asleep as an individual, thinking, feeling human being, and awakening as something else, a robotic, emotionless member of a collective, was anathema to the American spirit, and was directly analogous to life under Communism.

But most films of the period weren’t quite that direct, nor was the Communist “Red Menace” the only threat facing movie-going Americans. Another great Alien Invasion film found the entire world involved in a war against our nearest neighbor, Mars. The movie was, of course, George Pal’s WAR OF THE WORLDS, one of the first of the big-budget Special Effects blockbusters.

Based on H. G. Wells’ novel but without the political angst that tinged the book, this same story caused a nationwide panic in October 1938, as Orson Welles’ Mercury Theater staged a dramatic radio play, set in Grover’s Mills, New Jersey. Despite repeated disclaimers that this was a fictional account, thousands of listeners were convinced that Martians were invading New Jersey… as if they’d want it. The movie, released in 1953, was equally effective, if not as panic-inducing, as the radio program of fifteen years previously. The vision of Martian war machines hovering over the battlefield, impervious even to the biggest stick in the scientist’s arsenal, the atomic bomb, is one of the best images of the decade.

In addition, The “Bomb”, the device that won the war against Japan, and maintained the delicate balance of peace between East and West, was itself a threat. If not directly, when dropped from Soviet bombers, then certainly in its by-product—Radiation.

Radiation was responsible for a host of terrors visited upon fictional populaces in the 1950’s. From giant ants, to shrinking men, to fire-breathing prehistoric beasts, radiation ran rampant, churning out mutants by the score.

The first, and the best, (though not my personal favorite…) of the Giant Bug sub-genre of movies was the superb 1954 film THEM! The story of giant ants loose, first in New Mexico, then in Los Angeles, was connected directly to the earliest Atomic tests in Alamogordo. Nor were ants the only insects affected by radiation. TARANTULA was the result of a radioactive growth serum, and the giant grasshoppers in BEGINNING OF THE END owed their physiques to irradiated vegetables.

Higher orders of life weren’t safe from being horribly mutated, either… including man himself. Being caught in a nuclear blast caused Col. Glen Manning to grow into the Amazing Colossal Man, and another radioactive cloud shrinks Scott Carey down to the size of a microbe. Prehistoric creatures of all types found themselves reanimated, including the King of the Monsters himself, Godzilla.

Originally released in Japan in 1954 as GOJIRA, Godzilla was by far the greatest of the Monsters created in the 1950’s, and is still one of the most recognized. In it’s original form, it’s much more of an indictment of nuclear weapons and the destruction they bring; not totally unexpected from the only nation to suffer nuclear attack, but unlikely to play well to 1950’s U.S. audiences. The original’s a tremendously powerful and effective film, but even watered down for release here as GODZILLA—KING OF THE MONSTERS, it retains enough of that power to have remained a fan favorite for fifty years.

And let’s not forget the ‘classic’ monsters, the vampires, werewolves, and the like, who weren’t immune to the predations of the mad scientist, either. While the first two-thirds of the decade were essentially devoid of the traditional monsters so popular in the ‘30’s and ‘40’s, by 1956 Hollywood was once more interested in them, albeit with a science-based twist. In films such as THE WEREWOLF, HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, BLOOD OF DRACULA, and MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS, supernatural origins were cast aside in favor of scientific manipulation. Whether by a serum made from wolf hormones, chemically altered theatrical make-up, or microscopic organisms from a coelacanth’s bite, science was responsible for visiting these horrors on an unsuspecting populace.

Then there is the most iconic of American Monster-movies of the decade, CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. In a direct confrontation between science and nature, Man invades the peaceful sheltered habitat of the Gill-Man, irrevocably changing his existence in the effort to capture him for scientific study. The Gill-Man, Universal’s most sympathetic monster, was also the most victimized creature of the ‘50’s. Scientists hunted him in the first CREATURE film; caught him and transported him to a foreign land in the second; and surgically altered his very physiology in the final installment of the series. Where’s the ASPCA when you need them?

However, as the decade of the ‘50’s neared its close, traditional horror, ‘Classic’ horror, began to reassert itself in the genre. Thanks to a small, low-budget studio in Great Britain, which had been noted primarily for its crime pictures, great franchises such as Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Mummy were resurrected to tremendous success. That studio was, of course, Hammer Films, and starting with 1957’s CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, they single-handedly made Classic Horror popular again.

The rise of Hammer didn’t end Science’s role as the primary Protagonist / Antagonist of genre films, but it did mark the beginning of the shift to that “new realism” of which I spoke earlier. As standards eased and filmmakers explored expanded boundaries, films such as NIGHT OF THE HUNTER, PSYCHO, and CAPE FEAR became the driving force of the genre.

These literate, innovative, genuinely frightening films spawned hordes of imitators, most of which relied on increasing amounts of blood, gore, and nudity to make up for the lack of quality writing, directing or acting. By the midpoint of the ‘60’s, the heyday of the Mad Scientist had come to an end, and with it the horror cinema’s age of innocence.

Though I love all eras of the Horror Film, especially the Golden age of the ‘30’s through the mid-‘40’s, the years between 1950 and 1960 are perhaps the most fun. Yes, the movies are cheesy, the plots are simplistic, and the dialogue is straight from Leave It to Beaver; at least, in most cases.

But they also remind me of a time when it was ok to root for the good guy, and, more importantly, root against the bad; a time when things were simpler, even if only on the surface. They remind me of a time when “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” was something the public believed in, and something that Hollywood espoused… even if their collective fingers were crossed behind them.



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10 May, 2008

A Fond Look Back at the Man who Brought Dinosaurs to Life



When I was young, two of the most popular things with boys my age were astronauts and dinosaurs. Astronauts I understood; growing up a hundred miles from Cape Canaveral, fascinated by space and everything connected to it, a confirmed Star Trek fan by the age of three, astronauts were the stuff of my imagination, and my childhood heroes. Dinosaurs were fun, but I never got into them the way I did astronauts until I was older. Two movies were instrumental in firing my interest in dinosaurs, and, though they couldn’t be more different, they shared a common bond that insured their superiority: A man named Ray Harryhausen.

The first dinosaur movie that I was captured by was a twenty-year old classic by the time it hit the Summer “Kiddie-Show” circuit where I first saw it. THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS, released in 1953, was Harryhausen’s first major solo effort in Stop-Motion Animation. A protégé of Willis O’Brien, the man who breathed life into King Kong, Harryhausen would go on to exceed even his mentor’s genius, with films such as EARTH vs. THE FLYING SAUCERS, THE SEVENTH VOYAGE OF SINBAD, and JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS.

But THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS was where it began, and for Horror fans it was easy to see that the young effects artist was bound for greatness. I’ve reviewed this movie below here, so I’ll not go into detail about the film itself. Suffice it to say that, to a nine or ten-year old boy, already used to a steady diet of Japanese Kaijû, the idea of a real (well, real enough…) dinosaur rampaging through city streets was tailor-made to satisfy. Previously, the few dino-movies I had seen were all set in prehistoric times, with tribes of cave-men doing battle with photographically enlarged lizards masquerading as Dinosaurs. Even in my youthful innocence, I could recognize crap when it was before my eyes.

But BEAST… was different, as different in its way as my beloved Kaijû were. And for the first time, I was convinced that dinosaurs could be… frightening.

The second movie was one that I had seen as a young child, but that took on a different quality when I saw it as a teen-ager. That movie was ONE MILLION YEARS B.C., and that “…different quality…” was a twenty-six year old Raquel Welch, in a tight-fitting bearskin bikini.

Though a few of the creatures that rumbled through that prehistoric world were the result of bad-looking trick photography, most were all Ray’s… from the giant sea turtle to the Pterodactyls that battled over Raquel's luscious form. Harryhausen was at this point at the height of his success, with the on-going SINBAD series of films and the critical acclaim that he received for JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS. His talent was also at its peak, and the effects work in this film is nearly as beautiful as its star.

ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. still stands as Hammer Films’ highest-grossing movie, no doubt due in large part to Ms. Welch’s large parts. But I can’t help but believe that Ray’s excellent animation played some role in the film’s appeal.

Ray Harryhausen will soon celebrate his 88th birthday. He’s been retired for more than 25 years now, since his final film, CLASH OF THE TITANS, was panned by critics and largely ignored by audiences, too jaded to appreciate the artistry of his work. He’s now, much like Forry Ackerman and Bob Burns, an elder statesman of the genre, a reminder of past glories and yes, past heartaches. But like his friends, he is still with us, and we have the opportunity to say thank you for all he’s done for the genre, and all he’s meant to us. Thank you for the Martians and the Minotaur, for the ferocious Kraken and the battling skeletons, Cerberus and Medusa.
But most of all thank you for a “Beast” of a Rhedosaurus, that showed a nine-year old boy that dinosaurs could be frightening as well as fun, and for me, that was always the key to entertainment.






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DVD Review: THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS

Title: THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS

Year of Release—Film: 1953

Year of Release—DVD: 2003

DVD Label: Warner Home Video



THE MOVIE

Ray Harryhausen is, to a generation of monster fans, the greatest Special Effects Animator of all. The protégé of Willis O’Brien, the genius who brought King Kong to life, Harryhausen had gotten his first feature job in 1949, as an assistant to O’Brien on MIGHTY JOE YOUNG. But this film was his big break, and he made the most of it.

The plot is simple, and works well, though the script falls apart somewhat in the details. A Rhedosaurus, entombed in arctic ice, is awakened by a nuclear test. Soon he is making his way to warmer climes, following the eastern coast of North America. Of course, this brings him into conflict with the U.S. Army and Navy, and better than average use is made of military surplus stock footage.

The Rhedosaurus’ attack on the lighthouse is a spectacular example of animation, and the climactic battle at Coney Island is one of the best monster scenes of the ‘50’s. It’s easy to understand why audiences were truly amazed at this Pre-GOJIRA rampage.

Though Harryhausen’s effects are not quite as polished in this film as they would be in later pictures, his talent shines through the occasional technical glitches, and it’s easy to overlook the few problems the movie has. While it’s not the best Giant Beast movie out there, it is a great one, and it’s often forgotten that Harryhausen did it a year before Toho released their King of all monsters onto an unsuspecting Tokyo.


THE DISC

One of the best distributors out there is Warner Home Video, and it seems that they put their best efforts into the older Genre releases. THEM, THE BLACK SCORPION, THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS… all received treatments that are usually reserved for brand new blockbuster releases, or at least high-dollar collector’s editions. For this disc, they used as absolutely beautiful print of the film, cleaned it up nicely, subtitled it (always important to a slightly deaf Unimonster…) and packaged it nicely… even if in one of their annoying Snap cases.



THE SPECIAL FEATURES

WHV also loaded this disc down with special features, ones that will be of great interest to Harryhausen’s dedicated cadre of fans. The meat of the Special Feature section is contained in two documentaries, both featuring Harryhausen himself.

The first, THE RHEDOSAURUS AND THE ROLLER-COASTER: THE MAKING OF THE BEAST, is Harryhausen simply describing what went into the making of the film, primarily of course from his perspective. It’s a fascinating look at the process of creating a 1950’s B-Movie, from someone who was instrumental in the genre. While there is none of the behind-the-scene footage you’d see in a documentary of this type done today, his words aptly illustrate the goings-on.

The second, and far more heartwarming, of the documentaries is AN UNFATHOMABLE FRIENDSHIP: RAY HARRYHAUSEN AND RAY BRADBURY. This is just an open conversation between two life-long friends, who were lucky enough to do something they loved for a living. Taped in front of a gathering of fans and friends at the Warner Bros. lot, they discuss not only the film that gave them both their first real break, but the friendship that had begun years before that, and continues to this day.

The only other Special Feature is a Theatrical Trailer gallery, but it’s interesting, consisting of trailers for four of Harryhausen’s films, including BEAST… Though I’m sure it’s main purpose is to sell other Harryhausen films in WHV’s DVD catalog, it’s nonetheless entertaining.



IN CONCLUSION

I won’t lie to you; I’m a huge Harryhausen fan, and it would be difficult for me to be objective about this disc even if it weren’t this well done. Fortunately, that isn’t an issue… it is a superb DVD release, and I feel no guilt in saying that all “giant monster” fans, as well as anyone who considers themselves fans of Ray Harryhausen, should own this one. The list price is $19.95, damn reasonable for what you get, though I’ve seen it cheaper. I’d have paid that for the two documentaries on the disc or for the movie alone, without Special Features.

As always, it comes down to how big a fan of this genre of Horror or Science-Fiction you are, and how much you want a particular film. Speaking personally, Giant Dinosaurs, Insects and Reptiles are just about as good as it gets, and Ray Harryhausen’s creations rule that roost. The only way I can imagine it being better is to be watching it under the stars, girlfriend beside me, through the windshield of a ’54 Buick… maybe one with Nash seats.




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03 May, 2008

10 Things I just don’t Get



Everyone has certain things that they just do not comprehend; things that, for one reason or another, just goes right over their head. The Unimonster’s no different… indeed, considering how old-fashioned I am, it’s safe to say that there’s a veritable multitude of pop-culture icons and references that I don’t get, and hopefully, never will. I am, thankfully, immune to the dubious charms of Paris Hilton; would gleefully shoot myself in the foot to avoid trying out for any reality show; and should the day ever come when I stand in a line to pay four and a half dollars to order something called a “vente, non-fat, decaf, caramel mochacino…” then the day has arrived when I find the tallest building around and jump.


So were I to list all that baffles me regarding things that are popular and why, I could quite easily fill volumes. So let’s confine ourselves to our chosen genre, and focus in on ten things, in no special order, that never fail to surprise and amaze me in the world of Horror, Sci-Fi, and Fantasy films.

1.) The PHANTASM movies: When I first saw PHANTASM at the theater, sometime in my fourteenth year, I was impressed… somewhat. An original story; cheesy, but interesting, Special Effects; and a genuinely refreshing cast made me hope for the best. Not being a Horror novice, even at that age, I could see the potential of the story, even though the producers obviously couldn’t afford to realize that potential. But I could tell they had a good idea, and wasn’t disappointed with the end result. Unfortunately, even when more money was plowed into the franchise, that potential just never seemed to be reached. None of the three sequels have managed to equal the first, though PHANTASM II (1988) came close. Sadder still, the original loses more luster on each subsequent viewing, to the point where it’s simply become a bad movie.


2.) Post-Modern Werewolves & Vampires: Can someone please tell me why it’s necessary for the undead to travel about packing more heat than a Snoop Dogg concert? The trend that began with 1987’s NEAR DARK shows no signs of petering out, not with BLADE, its two moderately successful sequels; the UNDERWORLD franchise; and a dozen other rip-offs and low-budget imitations. Now believe me, I’m all for an armed populace… but when you can transform into an eight-foot tall beast, with six-inch claws and fangs, doesn’t that kinda eliminate the need for Smith & Wesson??


3.) Horror & Politics: To say that there is a certain political slant in Hollywood is an understatement, and for me not to realize that the majority of filmmakers share a political stance that’s diametrically opposed to my own would be naïveté bordering on idiocy. Still, I would like to think that I could watch a movie about re-animated corpses without getting a political diatribe spewed at me. Now, I’m not talking about some subtle sub-text, such as Romero’s LAND OF THE DEAD, and how the story evolved following 9-11. Screenwriters and directors are human; they’re going to draw on their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions when they create. It’s the blatant, obvious slap-in-the-face attacks on everyone whose opinion differs from theirs that bother me. The Showtime series Masters of Horror is a perfect case-in-point. On the face of it, this is a great idea, one whose time has come. Offer the genre’s greatest directors and writers the opportunity to produce a short film, free from the constrictions of the studio process. Most, such as Dario Argento, Takashi Miike, and John Landis have taken the opportunity to create genuinely good Horror. A few, however, have taken the chance to launch into a political screed, unconcerned about offending fans who don’t share their views. While I applaud Showtime for creating an environment where Horror can flourish, it’s off-putting, to say the least, to try to sit through a program that’s attacking your very core beliefs.


4.) “Non-Horror” Horror: Recently, it’s become fashionable for major stars, actors such as De Niro, Cruise, and Cage, to try their hands at scaring audiences out of their hard-earned dollars. Now, ordinarily, I’m in favor of anything that leads to more Horror Films being made, and far be it for me to say that A-list actors and actresses shouldn’t work in Horror. But I fail to see why, with such a massive investment involved in bringing that much star power to bear, no thought is given to actually making movies that are scary… or even good. HIDE AND SEEK; WAR OF THE WORLDS; THE WICKER MAN… Not a lot there to justify the expense, huh? What’s worse is the situation where directors become involved in remaking classic horror films in order to place some sort of personal stamp on it. From Spielberg’s WAR OF THE WORLDS to Neil LaBute’s abysmal remake of THE WICKER MAN, Hollywood seems convinced that they can improve great films by removing everything that made them great. Steven Spielberg is possibly the greatest living director, certainly the greatest American filmmaker since John Ford, but not even he could improve upon perfection. George Pal’s WAR OF THE WORLDS is a perfect film for its type and time; the remake, simply put, isn’t.


5.) Stephen King: First of all, let me say that King is the greatest Horror author of the past thirty years, bar none. He may be the greatest ever, though that would be a difficult point for which to argue. “IT”, “Pet Sematary”, “Salem’s Lot”, “Needful Things”… these and many other great works have sprung from the mind of this man, and the genre has been much richer for it. That I get perfectly well, and that I do not deny. But the Stephen King I don’t get is the King who gave us THE TOMMYKNOCKERS, and SLEEPWALKERS, and KINGDOM HOSPITAL. It seems as though King will allow virtually any project to carry his name, no matter how tangentially he’s connected to it; and as for his own writing, there’s no doubt that the 1999 accident that nearly claimed his life has had a profound effect on him. Can he return to his Horror roots, or does he even wish to, are questions that those of us who love his earlier work are waiting to have answered.


6.) Why Keanu Reeves is a Star: Seriously, anyone have a clue? He was absolutely horrible in Francis Ford Coppola’s DRACULA, and his performance in 2005’s CONSTANTINE was even worse… so how does he become one of the most in-demand actors in Hollywood? Personally, I think it involves the blood of a chicken and some whispered phrases in Latin.


7.) Why Bruce Campbell Isn’t: Even if you aren’t a fan of the EVIL DEAD trilogy, (and truth to tell, I’m not…) then BUBBA HO-TEP should be enough to convince you that the man with the chin has some serious acting chops. His over-the-top performances as Ash in Sam Raimi’s cult classic EVIL DEAD movies are, in my opinion, the only reason that those films are regarded as highly as they are. Moreover, his spectacular turn as an elderly Elvis Presley, battling a soul-consuming mummy in a Texas nursing home, was a joy to behold and in a righteous world would have earned Campbell an Oscar nomination, at the very least.


8.) Hammer’s CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF: I know, I know… a certified, gold-plated classic, from my second-favorite studio—how can I not enjoy this movie? Simple… the film is slow and uninvolving, the story is weak, the acting is sub-par, especially compared with most of Hammer’s productions, and, while the Werewolf design is excellent, it’s on-screen for such a brief amount of time that it’s wasted. It’s not a bad movie, really… it’s simply not a very good one. Expectations for Hammer films… especially the early ones… are high. This movie just doesn’t meet them.


9.) Universal Studios: Speaking of favorite studios… It’s not that I don’t understand the studio from which I gained my nom de plume; I fully understand greed, tight-fistedness, and a reluctance to remember from whence you came. Fans of the great Universal Horrors have long since grown accustomed to being ignored, insulted, passed over, and forgotten about by the studio, only to be shaken down anew when Universal hits hard financial times and trots our favorite cash cows out for another round of “milk the fan.” The latest round of this began four years ago, with the admittedly superb Legacy collections, and has continued unabated, with the Lugosi Franchise collection, the Karloff franchise collection, the Ultimate Sci-Fi collection, and the Hammer Horror collection. Just last year, we saw the release of the DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN 75th Anniversary editions. What I don’t get is, is this a new attitude from Universal regarding our beloved monsters, whether due to the new ownership by NBC or an increased responsiveness to the fan? Or is this just another temporary fling, and is the rug soon to be pulled out from beneath the feet of loyal fans everywhere? Earlier, I mentioned the 75th Anniversary sets of DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN. Last year, however, they failed to give us a similar treatment for the Mummy’s 75th celebration… only to put it on the schedule for this year, in support of the third Brendan Fraser MUMMY film. I don’t know the answer to my question… but if thirty years of being a fan of Universal has taught me anything, it’s that no matter how bountiful the years of plenty are, there’s always a long stretch of lean around the corner.


10.) Sideshow Toys: Can we please stipulate that when the average price of a company’s product line exceeds the $100 mark, they have to take the word “Toy” out of their name? Seriously, there are few companies that do the monsters as well as Sideshow Toys… but who can afford them? Recently, I was browsing through their website, and was struck by the sheer cost of some of their figures, including a life-sized Robby the Robot… for a staggering $17,000! I’ve never paid that much for a car!


These are some of the things that I just can’t understand. There’s more, much more in fact. How Uwe Boll keeps getting directing jobs; why Jessica Alba won’t respond to my marriage proposals; why I’m the only person in America who doesn’t think they belong on AMERICAN IDOL. Like I said… a world of things I just don’t get.





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DVD Review: LET'S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH

Title: LET’S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH

Year of Release—Film: 1971

Year of Release—DVD: 2006

DVD Label: Paramount Home Entertainment




THE MOVIE

Don’t let the title mislead you… this isn’t another “let’s-drive-my-wife-insane-and-get-her-riches” movie. LET’S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH is actually a literate, well-plotted Horror Film, one that, while slow-moving to the point of slothfulness, has a tremendously good pay-off… if you can stay with it.

Directed by John Hancock, and starring Zorah Lampert as the titular Jessica, the plot involves a woman (Lampert) who’s just been released from a mental institution, relocating to a rural New England village with her husband Duncan and his friend.

The whole relationship seems odd, and grows odder still when the group discovers a young woman, Emily, living in the home they’ve purchased. Both men are soon falling under Emily’s spell, as Jessica begins spiraling back down towards insanity. Though it first appears as though there’s an effort to drive Jessica insane, the real answer isn’t quite so simple.

Though the film is well-designed, the execution is sloppily done, with a confused, and at times confusing, script; poor photography, little better than the average Made-for-TV Movie of the period; and a no-name cast that is not quite able to wring the full potential from the weak script. On the positive side, though, is the hauntingly beautiful Essex, Connecticut location and the suspenseful plot.

Few settings are more appropriate for a Horror Film or novel than New England, and it is perfectly suited here. However, the photography, by Robert M. Baldwin (as Bob Baldwin), simply doesn’t do justice to it. Likewise, the premise of the film is let down by a meandering script that never quite gets its feet firmly planted.



THE DISC

The DVD is an average effort for Paramount, a company that seldom goes the extra mile on anything but it’s new releases. The print used is clean and complete, and presented in the original widescreen, and the movie is subtitled. The disc is what you would expect for a 35-year old film that was hardly a financial success when first released, and overall, is a decent product.



THE SPECIAL FEATURES

There are no special features on this disc, and it’s difficult to see how much a “Making-of…” or deleted scenes section would’ve added. This isn’t really a movie that cries out for such amenities, even if they had been available.



IN CONCLUSION

While this was a surprisingly enjoyable film at the end, it does require some patience to get there. The cast does the best they can with the script they were given, but you can’t help thinking that a more talented ensemble might have been able to overcome its inherent difficulties. But that shouldn’t stop you from checking this one out. While it’s not one that I would recommend for purchase, (unless you find it in a bargain bin) it certainly is worth a rental. Be patient with it, and you will be rewarded.













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19 April, 2008

My Favorite Kaijû



Though Kaijû, or the Giant Monsters of Japanese cinema, aren’t everyone’s cup of sakê, I just can’t get enough of them. Fortunately, my love of Toho Studio’s city-stomping creations is an honest one, dating back to a childhood spent watching Godzilla, Mothra, Ghidorah, and the rest rampaging across Japan, causing more destruction than a Phish concert. Of all the great monsters imported from Japan, however, one has always been my personal favorite, even more so than the undisputed King of Kaijû, Godzilla. That monster is Rodan, and 2006 marked the 50th anniversary of his debut.

I can’t really say what makes Rodan my favorite. Looking like a gigantic Pterodactyl, able to fly so fast that his supersonic wake can shatter skyscrapers, he just seemed so very… cool to a nine or ten-year old MonsterKid. He didn’t need to stomp cities into the ground, he just flew over, and the cities fell. No muss, no fuss, just total destruction.

I think another reason Rodan held such appeal for me is that all my friends were either Godzilla or Gamera fans, and I’ve always hated following the crowd. A natural iconoclast, I needed a favorite that was different from everyone else’s, something that stood out. Ghidorah was too evil; besides, he was always getting his ass kicked. Mothra was just too much of a girl’s kind of Kaijû. Rodan was just right.

His debut feature, SORA NO DAIKAIJÛ RADON ~aka~ RODAN, [see my review of the Sony DVD of the film below…] is one of the best of the Showa series movies, those Kaijû films made by Toho from 1954 to 1985. And Rodan was one of the most popular monsters during the Showa period, appearing in no fewer than eight Toho films, though some of his appearances were through the use of stock footage, a common cost-cutting measure employed by the studio. Often cast as an ally of Godzilla, it was easy to root him on, as he and Godzilla would deal with whatever alien-controlled Kaijû was sent to ravage the Japanese homeland this time out.

One of the best movies of this period was 1968’s KAIJÛ SÔSHINGEKI ~aka~ DESTROY ALL MONSTERS. It was also a typical mid-Showa Kaijû Eiga (literally, Monster Movie…), featuring Aliens working behind the scenes, controlling the various Monsters, using them as weapons as they sought to conquer the Earth. Invariably, Godzilla, along with either Mothra or Rodan, would revolt against the alien overlords, defeating the hostile Kaijû, and foiling the alien’s plans. This was a common theme in all three eras of Kaijû Eiga; in fact, the most recent film, and the final film in the Millennium series, GOJIRA: FAINARU UÔZU ~aka~ GODZILLA: FINAL WARS, is little more than a remake of KAIJÛ SÔSHINGEKI.

Rodan had a significant role in this, his fourth film. Though he was originally dispatched to destroy Moscow, Russia, he was freed from the alien mind control device and, along with Godzilla, Mothra, and Manda defeated first the Kilaaks, then the creature resurrected to combat the Kaijû, King Ghidorah.

Movies like DESTROY ALL MONSTERS were what summers were for when I was young. Spending the morning at the “Kiddee Show” at the local theater, me, my little brother, and our friends fueling our imaginations with decade-old Kaijû classics; then heading over to the neighborhood park in the afternoon. In the early ‘70’s, litigation had not yet replaced baseball as the national pastime, and children were still allowed to assume a modicum of risk when playing outside. The local park had an enormous ‘Jungle Gym’ type structure built in the shape of a rocket ship, one which would become our Kaijû-fighting spacecruiser after one of these Monster Matinees. Sure, it was built out of iron, resting on a massive slab of concrete, but I don’t recall one of us ever getting more than a cut or bruise playing on it. I do recall, however, hours spent talking about these monsters, arguing over which was the best, pretending that we were battling them, just being fans… just being kids.

The 1970’s weren’t kind to Rodan; though he appeared in three more Showa films (CHIKYÛ KOGEKI MEIREI: GOJIRA TAI GAIGAN ~aka~ GODZILLA vs. GIGAN, (1972); GOJIRA TAI MEGARO ~aka~ GODZILLA VS. MEGALON, (1973); and MEKAGOJIRA NO GYAKUSHU ~aka~ TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA, (1975)…) his appearances were limited to reused stock footage.

Tokyo was safe from the Kaijû for an entire decade following TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA, until the Heisei era began with GOJIRA ~aka~ GODZILLA 1985. Gone was the concept of Godzilla, as well as the other Kaijû, as Japan’s protectors; he was back, and he was bad. But it would be 1993 before Rodan made his lone Heisei appearance, in GOJIRA VS MEKAGOJIRA ~aka~ GODZILLA vs. MECHAGODZILLA II. But what the Heisei-era lacked in quantity was more than made up in quality, as he was revealed to be a “brother” of Baby Godzilla, died, was resurrected as Fire Rodan, and finally gave up his life force to save Godzilla. Heisei Kaijû films were nothing if not imaginative.

Rodan has made one more appearance thus far, in the aforementioned GODZILLA: FINAL WARS, the final film in the Millennium series which began with GOJIRA NI-SEN MIRENIAMU ~aka~ GODZILLA 2000 (1999). Though his role in GFW wasn’t as important as his fans no doubt desired, it was great to see him in action one more time, as he attacked New York City with gusto.

Now it’s the 50th anniversary of his screen debut. Have we seen the last of Rodan, Godzilla, Mothra, and the rest? Possible… but I won’t bet on it. Because if there’s one thing that we fans of Kaijû understand, it’s this:

You just can’t keep a good monster down.




















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