These are a Few of my Favorite Things (and neither The Sound of Music nor Julie Andrews is on the list) by the Unimonster

When writers spend a great deal of time on one topic, whether it is Horror films, or food, or sports, they tend to focus on things that annoy or upset them.  It’s natural; most people are predisposed to complain, rather than to praise.  Speaking for myself, I often find it easier to make clear what I didn't like about a movie, than to explain what I did.  Ask me what was wrong with the Nicholas Cage version of The Wicker Man, and you’d better have a sizable hole in your schedule.  Ask me why Robin Hardy’s original film was so good, and while I could go on just as long, I can also sum it up in one sentence: “A director’s perfect vision, perfectly executed by the perfect performers for their roles.”

Occasionally however, it is nice to highlight those movies, objects, or people that make Horror and Sci-Fi fandom such an enjoyable hobby.  There’s a reason millions of people go to see the latest slasher films, or buy their eighth copy of Army of Darkness just to make sure they have every video release, or attend Horror conventions to get a treasured poster signed by someone who was essentially an extra in their favorite film.  They, like the Unimonster, love this hobby, and seek their own ways to express that love.  These are some of mine.

 

1.)  American Horror Story:  While AMC’s The Walking Dead is without a doubt the best Horror series on television, my personal tastes have always leaned more to the supernatural forms of horror.  Yes, gut-munching zombies are fine, and no one does a better job of bringing them to life than Greg Nicotero, but for pure horror on the small screen, the three seasons of AHS—Murder House, Asylum, and Coven—are far more effective.

2.)  Horror Hosts:  Though the heyday of the Hosted Horror show is forty years in the past, there are a dedicated groups of fans that refuse to let those days fade completely from the scene, and a corps of corpses (figuratively speaking, of course) who are just as dedicated to carrying on the tradition of visiting us in our homes through the airwaves (well, Wi-Fi at least), and guiding us through the night with classic, and not-so-classic, horror films.  Svengoolie, Karlos Borloff, Penny Dreadful, and Count Gore De Vol are just a few of the many who help us celebrate the memories of days gone by.

3.)  Epic Rap Battles of History:  Okay, I know that this is a weird one, even for me, and some might wonder just what comedic rap battle videos on Youtube have to do with the world of Horror and Science-Fiction.  However, when you have such battles as Back to the Future’s Doc Brown rapping against Doctor Who, Batman vs. Sherlock Holmes, and an epic trilogy featuring Darth Vader taking on Adolf Hitler, well … it’s both genre-related, and hilarious enough to have me rolling on the floor in laughter.  Considering the new ‘season’ just kicked off with Rick Grimes battling Walter White, it seems safe to say that ERB will continue to be one of my favorites.

4.)  Conventions:  While our hobby is usually centered on the glowing phosphors shining out from our living room televisions, there’s much to be said for gathering in large numbers with like-minded people, in the fellowship of Horror / Sci-Fi fandom.  The chance to see old friends, to experience new areas of fandom, and to score new collectibles celebrating your favorite films, all are great reasons to seek out and participate in Horror conventions.  For the Unimonster, it means a time to recharge my batteries, to renew my love of everything Horror.  Oh, and new books and T-shirts … it’s not a successful con unless I leave with at least one new reference book and one new horror tee!

5.)  Kaijû:  While I love giant bugs and monsters in general, the Kaijû of Japan’s Toho studios are by far my favorites.  Godzilla, Ghidorah, Rodan, Mothra, and the rest have been friends and companions of the Unimonster almost from infancy.  Near constant exposure during the late ’60s-early ‘70s completely inoculated me with a love of foam rubber monsters stomping miniature Japanese cities to rubble.  Forty years on, that love is still going strong, and with new offerings such as last year’s Pacific Rim and Gareth Edwards’ Godzilla [see review below] scoring huge at the box office, it’s apparent that I’m not the only one who feels that way.

6.)  Comic Book Movies:  Comic books have always been a passion of mine, and the fact that Hollywood is now embracing them as well, combined with the technology that allows filmmakers to convincingly create worlds as diverse as Asgaard, Oa, Krypton, and Sin City, makes this the best era ever for the Comic Book Movie.  And with the upcoming Batman / Superman film set to go head to head against the second Avengers film, things can only get better.

7.)  1970s Exploitation Film Pressbooks:  Collecting ephemera (advertising paper, posters, lobby cards, etc.) from our favorite films can be a great way to celebrate and display your love of movies, but it can be expensive.  An original 1954 one-sheet poster for Universal’s Creature from the Black Lagoon is worth about $25,000, and a Frankenstein Meets the Wolf-Man lobby card approximately $10,000.  Pressbooks, however, can generally be had for a fraction of that, around $30-50.  And what, you may ask, are pressbooks?  Pressbooks are the advertising circulars the film distributors sent out to theaters and drive-ins giving them the information they needed to properly promote the films they would be exhibiting.  From the pressbook, they could select which posters and lobby cards to order, select newspaper ads, and order radio and television spots.  They are fascinating documents, a look behind the screen, so to speak, into the world of the motion picture business.  My personal favorites are from the 1970s, the pressbooks of the exploitation films that fed drive-ins and grindhouses with the movies that kept the fans coming back.  My collection may be small, but it’ll continue to grow … without wiping out my meager budget.

There are many more things I could add to this list, but this will do … for now.  At least, until I find something new that becomes a favorite of mine.

For the Love of Laughter, Horror (and Hosts), and CHEESE!

S. J. Martiene

For as long as I can remember I have enjoyed a good laugh, a good fright, and have been exposed to my fair share of bad movies.  Growing up with Bugs Bunny, The Marx Brothers, Bob Hope, Carol Burnett, Johnny Carson, The Dean Martin Roasts, and the endless one-liners from the ORIGINAL Hollywood Squares game show, I became quite skilled with the “aside”, sarcasm, innuendo, and just downright belly-laughing guffaws.  Oh yeah, I failed to include HEE HAW in that mix (along with too many other names and shows).  That show instilled its own kind of humor which is still with me to this day.  During my pre-teen and teenage years, I was fortunate to spend some of my movie-watching hours at the drive-in.  To this day, I can remember vividly some of the shock, schlock, and shivers.  I remember the taste and the smell of the popcorn, the anticipation of the Intermission Countdown, and the crackle of the speakers. All of these are wonderful memories indeed, and helpful to drown out the painful thoughts of the hometown drive-in that was destroyed to make room for a strip mall.

Accompanied with this outside-the-home movie enjoyment, we had our own TV Horror Host (The Fear Monger).  Between his Saturday night escapades, I was exposed to arguably the greatest TV decade EVER, particularly for the horror, suspense, and crime genre.  Seriously, with fare like Kolchak: The Night Stalker, The NBC Mystery Movie, Circle of Fear, and movies like The Legend of Lizzie Borden, Crowhaven Farm, Don’t be Afraid of the Dark, and Gargoyles how could I NOT love it!!  I still watch these on coveted DVDs today!!!  Ah the 70’s, full of highs and many personal lows, but little did I know that it would be nearly another 20 years of living before another show would cram EVERYTHING together for me in a nice, neat Cowtown Puppet Show package.

FAST FORWARD:  March 1992

So I went to school, went to work, had moved to South Florida where I would meet my future husband and we would start our family.  In March ’92, I was watching The Comedy Channel (Comedy Central’s first name), and I discovered something beautiful.  There was this guy, with two robots, in a spaceship theater, and they were TALKING through The Crawling Hand. It was love at first sight.  Whenever work and life schedule would permit it, I was watching this show.  Then, I noticed the show always ended with a salute to “The authors of the First Amendment and The Teachers of America” AND then it would say…”KEEP CIRCULATING THE TAPES”.  SO I started recording the episodes as often as I could.   And it is this show that I have taught my boys to love and that we are STILL watching a quarter-century later:  Mystery Science Theater 3000.

As many know, MST3K started as a local show in Minneapolis (KTMA) in 1989 and was the brain-child of comedian-extraordinaire, Joel Hodgson.  It revolved around a maintenance guy (Joel Robinson played by Hodgson) who worked for two nefarious characters, Dr. Erhardt (Josh “Elvis” Weinstein) and Dr. Clayton Forrester (Trace Beaulieu), at Gizmonic Institute.  He was forced into a human experiment of watching painfully bad movies to break his spirit. Erhardt and Forrester thought that the success of this experiment would further their advancement in conquering the world.  Joel, getting lonely in space, created robots from things he found around the ship.  These robots would become his children, friends, and sparring partners and two of them would even accompany him into the theater to share his movie experiences:  Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot.

Josh Weinstein gave Tom Servo life during the KTMA year and the “official” Season 1 on Comedy Central.  Trace Beaulieu managed Crow T. Robot from the beginning until MST3K left CC to join The Sci-Fi Channel (now SyFy) in 1997.  All of them, along with Kevin Murphy (Future Tom Servo), Michael J. Nelson (future host), and Bill Corbett (future Crow T. Robot), Frank Coniff (TV’s Frank who replace Weinstein in Season 2) and many others added their own comedy touches within the writing of the show.  The humor would normally stay current with many pop culture references to the 60’s and 70’s (which I identified with completely).  Every once in awhile, there will be a topical political joke or pun that could get lost in future years.  The greatest thing about this show is that it was great at being an “EQUAL OPPORTUNITY POLITICAL JOKESTER”.  What I mean by that is that the SHOW did not take sides, and I loved that so much.  I remember that is why I loved Johnny Carson because he railed BOTH sides of the aisle.  For this reason and because the show never strayed from what it was – three characters sitting and making fun of movies, it will likely remain a cult favorite.  And let’s face it, most of us have talked to our TV sets all our lives!!!   AND…they got to do it in a THEATER…..now THAT was cool.

Another element that endeared me to Mystery Science Theater was it contained many characteristics of the “Horror Host” movies so prevalent in my younger years.  I became acquainted with the opening segments and skits between commercial breaks.  As a kid, I always felt this broke the tension of the very SCARY movies being aired that night.  As an adult, I found these bits filled with dry humor and wonderful sight gags that I continue to use today.  The tribute to the Horror Host was quite evident.  There were mad scientists, invention exchanges, running jokes from episode to episode, cheap props, and the destruction of civilizations – all neatly confined on the bone-shaped ship called The Satellite of Love.  Of course, there was an Umbilicus that connected them to Deep 13 (The Mads’ Lair), but that is going to lead to some tedious detail about the show’s final years…and well…..JUST WATCH, okay?????  In addition, there were all kinds of visitors and intruders on the SOL over the years; from Demon Dogs to Nanites.  Even a quarter-century after its birth, MST3K is still gaining fans and getting DVD releases each year.  Not bad for a show that used broken pieces of a Hungry Hungry Hippo game and Millennium Falcon model as parts for the set.

Lastly, the show EMBRACED the bad movie.  Lord knows that if Hollyweird knows how to put out one product well, it is the cheesy flick.  Not all of the MST3K library includes the horror/sci-fi genre either, sometimes it would delve into the Action (MST3K #614 San Francisco International), Fantasy (MST3K #505 The Magic Voyage of Sinbad), Teenage Angst (MST3K #507 I Accuse My Parents), and the occasional Ed Wood or Coleman Francis film (because they deserve their own category, don’t they? ... hmmmm???).  Personally, I love the horror and science fiction genres the best; HOWEVER, many laughs are to be had at the expense of these other films, along with the short subjects that sometimes accompany movies who’s running times needed padding.  If you are a child of the 1960’s, you may remember actually viewing some of those short subjects in school.  Personally, I remember seeing Keeping Neat and Clean (MST3K #613 The Sinister Urge) in one of our Health Classes, AND I am pretty sure I also was lucky (ahem) to see The Chicken of Tomorrow (MST3K #702 The Brute Man). I’m sure there were many others too.  It’s a shame today’s kids are not exposed to these cinematic morsels, but MY BOYS ARE…. hee hee hee.  And no, don’t call CPS, it is NOT an enforceable offense – I've checked.

We are fortunate today that Mystery Science Theater lives on through tapes, DVDs, and even is streamed through Netflix, Hulu, and shows can be found on YouTube.  Many of the show’s members branched out to do their own incarnations of MST3K in other ventures.  Joel Hodgson headed Cinematic Titanic which did live appearances and DVD releases.  They disbanded in 2013 as members (which included Frank Coniff and Trace Beaulieu) decided to do other projects.  Hodgson revived the old Comedy Central format of an MST3K Turkey Day celebration by running a humorous and heartfelt marathon on a YouTube channel on Thanksgiving Day 2013.  It was simply AMAZING!!!  The most successful spin-off has been the RiffTrax collaboration of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett.  The RT crew leaves NOTHING unscathed:  Shorts, serials, good movies, bad movies, blockbusters, or the blockbuster.  They utilize video-on-demand where customers have the option to download the movies to their own devices OR purchase DVD’s.  RiffTrax can also bypass excruciating “rights” purchases by just selling commentaries to movies most of can rent or readily acquire.  Do you know how much fun it has been to watch ALL the Star Wars movies completely riffed???  It is sheer joy, my friend…pure joy.

In conclusion, if you like to laugh and you don’t mind some of your precious little films getting stepped on, seek out Mystery Science Theater 3000, Cinematic Titanic, and RiffTrax.  DO IT!!  Do it NOW…..DON’T LOSE ANOTHER DAY!!!

www.mst3kinfo.com

www.cinematictitanic.com

www.rifftrax.com

CV EXTRA: The Price of Fear (or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Man)

Once upon a time, when I was but a little ghoul, I watched The Last Man on Earth on FRIGHT NIGHT with The Fearmonger.  Tweener that I was (and having two tormenting younger brothers), I was irrationally frightened of all those zombies and bothered that there was only ONE guy left on earth to fight them.  My brothers further exacerbated that fear by banging on our (the room I shared with my sister) bedroom door shouting, “MORGAN!!  MORGAN!!!  Come out, MORGAN!!!”  As they would return to their room, giggling, the eventual result of their teasing started a great fascination v. fear complex with Vincent Price.  The movie, The Tingler, did nothing to abate my fears.  Those William Castle touches of turning the “blood” in the film red made me want to turn away; or at least cover my eyes so I could peek between my fingers at the rest of the story.  It wasn’t until I was much older and wiser that I learned to love Vincent Price movies, TV Shows, and Radio Programs seeking out as many as I could view.  I have become a full-blown fangirl.

Vincent Price was born on May 27^th, 1911 (a birthday he shares with Christopher Lee).  This month marks the end of the “Vincentennial” (as it has been pegged), a year-long celebration of the actor’s life with special events schedule in St. Louis around the time of his birthday.  This festival included movies, forums, and a display of memorabilia from his fans. 

The lucky people who were fortunate enough to meet or exchange correspondence with Mr. Price said he was a kind man and always had time for his fans.  I think hearing that was one of the main reasons I became so interested in seeing as much of his body of work as possible.  Perhaps through that, I COULD get to know him better.  When he passed in 1993, I (along with many others), were deeply saddened.  The solace we took in it was the knowledge he had over 50 years of work etched into film, TV, and radio.  We could ALWAYS see and hear him.  For that, I will always be grateful.

One of the nice things about being a fan of Vincent Price is that he was able to handle many genres effectively.  His range included being a comedic actor in SERVICE DE LUXE, HIS KIND OF WOMAN and COMEDY OF TERRORS, to dramatic performances in DRAGONWYCK, ELIZABETH AND ESSEX, and WHALES OF AUGUST, to ANY and ALL of his sinister performances throughout the decades.  He never became too much of a “just for adults” type actor.  Price did many animated feature voiceover performances as well:  The Great Mouse Detective, The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo, Tiny Toon Adventures, and Tim Burton’s Vincent, are just a few of the shows that endeared him to younger audiences too.  On TV, he could be the villainous Egghead (of the Batman TV series) or guest star on Columbo, The Bionic Woman, and Alfred Hitchcock Presents.  Whether villain, comedy relief, or dramatic presence, having Vincent Price in the cast made THAT show better.  Finally, on radio, he was the long-time voice of The Saint, a frequent guest on Suspense, and later in his career he had his own show called The Price of Fear.  He could be murderer or hero.  It never mattered.  He was excellent.

Now, I’m not going to get through highlights of his entire repertoire.  You, gentle reader, would be here for DAYS.  I will highlight some of my favorites. 

MOVIES:

In His Kind of Woman, a film noir/comedy, Vincent plays (to the hilt) a ham actor named Mark Cardigan.  Nasty, noir-ish things are happening all around him with Robert Mitchum, Jane Russell, and Raymond Burr, but he doesn’t have a clue.  He tries to be a hero..BUT does he succeed?  TCM runs this movie fairly often, so check it out!  Here is an example of the great lines:

Dan Milner: I'm too young to die. How about you? 

Mark Cardigan: Too well-known. 

Dan Milner: Well, if you do get killed, I'll make sure you get a first-rate funeral in Hollywood, at Grauman's Chinese Theatre. 

Mark Cardigan: I've already had it. My last picture died there. 

In Comedy of Terrors he is teamed up with fellow horror-genre actors Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, and Basil Rathbone.  Price plays Waldo Trumbull, an undertaker, who has a scheme to drum up business:  killing his own customers!  The interplay between all these actors (Basil Rathbone is Shakespearean-quoting ham in this flick) PLUS the added talent of Joyce Jameson as the long-suffering Mrs. Trumbull, makes this movie a standout.  I could not pick just one line to quote on this one.  The entire film shoots arrows from beginning to end.

Vincent Price co-starred with Gene Tierney in films three times:  Laura, Leave Her to Heaven and Dragonwyck.  ALL of these films are among my favorites.  The only change I would like to have seen is Price in the lead male role in Leave Her to Heaven.  I never could understand why Ellen (Tierney) would choose Cornel Wilde over Vincent Price…..maybe that’s just me.

RADIO

Over the last decade, I have become a HUGE fan of Old Time Radio shows.  The site, www.archive.org is a great place to retrieve these shows.  I like them because I load them up on my mp3 player and listen daily.  The Saint series, though not well-liked by some because of its writing, featured Price as private eye Simon Templar.  This character was portrayed in the movies by George Sanders, Roger Moore, and Val Kilmer.  He fit this role well as it had both comedy and action elements.  Price also had some very good stories on radio’s Suspense, Escape, and his own show, Price of Fear.  The story, Three Skeleton Key (series, Escape) is considered the best of all the renditions.  You can listen to it here:  http://www.archive.org/details/ThreeSkeletonKey  .  It is the story of three men trapped in a lighthouse after it is run over with rats.  I don’t know that there was ever a movie made from this story, but it would be a good one.  In The Hunting Trip (with character actor Lloyd Nolan), Fugue in C Minor (with the WONDERFUL Ida Lupino), and Rave Notice, he is either murderer or….accidental victim.  I’ll let you listen to those and find out for yourself.

Television

I’ve had the most fun trying to find as many of Vincent Price’s TV work as I can.  He did quite a bit of guest roles in many shows I watched growing up:  Batman, The Red Skelton show, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Columbo, The Brady Bunch, The Bionic Woman, and Night Gallery.  He also had the job as a narrator of A Christmas Carol, a 1949 TV short.

In addition to all of this he was an author,  art collector, a gourmet cook, and he recorded many gothic horror stories to LP.  A Coven of Witches Tales, is probably my favorite.  Someone kindly added them to their website which you can find here:  http://www.thesoundofvincentprice.com/coven1.html  .

If I am in the mood for comedy, drama, or film noir or horror, I can ALWAYS find something starring Vincent Price.  I’m never disappointed except in the cases where I wished he had more of a presence.  The above scribblings have been only a few of the reasons I am such a fangirl.  I know I left out many movies worth mentioning but you see, I’ve only scratched the surface. 

A quote attributed to Price is as follows: “I've come to believe remembering someone is not the highest compliment - it is missing them.”

And yes, in Vincent Price’s case….I miss him very much.

DVD Review: HI THERE HORROR MOVIE FANS!

Title:  HI THERE HORROR MOVIE FANS!

Year of Release—Film:  2011

Year of Release—DVD:  2011

DVD Label:  Horse Archer Productions

[Ed. Note:  If you happen to be a horror-host with a current program, and would like to see it reviewed here, please contact me at unimonster64@gmail.com.]

Readers who recall my delight with the last effort out of Horse Archer Productions [http://www.horsearcherproductions.com], the superb VIRGINIA CREEPERS: THE HORROR HOST TRADITION OF THE OLD DOMINION, will not be surprised that I’m equally pleased with the latest documentary from the team of Sean Kotz and Chris Valluzzo, the tribute to Petersburg, Virginia’s Bowman Body, Bill Bowman.  For more than forty years now, The Bowman Body has been a northern Virginia institution; an inspiration to horror-movie fans who eagerly tuned in throughout the 1970s and ‘80s to see a rumpled, pasty-face ghoul in a tuxedo and sneakers, band-aid prominently affixed to his bald head, rise up out of his coffin to entertain them with his unique style of homespun humor.

He would invariably greet his viewers with a cheerful “Hi there Horror Movie Fans,” a catchphrase that is the title of Kotz and Valluzzo’s new offering.  Being a devoted fan of Horror hosts in general, and having previously been exposed to the Bowman Body through the aforementioned VIRGINIA CREEPERS, I have been eagerly awaiting the debut of this feature dedicated to Bowman’s character since the first announcement of it, and I must say the wait was worth it.

The format is identical to the earlier documentary, including being hosted by Mr. Lobo, of the nationally-syndicated Cinema Insomnia program.  It features clips of the various shows which Bowman hosted during his career, as well as still photographs and audio clips.  By far the bulk of the documentary, however, is given over to anecdotal interviews with those who worked with Bill Bowman, those who were fans of Bill Bowman’s, those who were inspired by Bill Bowman, and with the Bowman Body himself.  The stories told are fascinating, funny, and informative, and give the viewer a good sense of what it was like to tune in to one of Bowman’s programs.  Some of the footage was previously used in VIRGINIA CREEPERS, but that’s not an issue in a documentary; there’s only so much surviving Bowman footage, and as far as the interviews are concerned, those, like testimony in a court of law, have a value and permanence that outweighs any arbitrary desire for ‘new’ or ‘fresh’ material.

That’s not to say that there’s nothing new here.  Indeed, most of the interviews are new, especially much of the filmmakers’ conversation with Bowman himself.  This provides the viewer with much-needed background on Bowman, and his journey from radio station disc jockey to a television icon who was, in 2005, honored for his “… distinguished career in television broadcasting and for his many contributions to the success of the Legislative Studio for Commonwealth Public Broadcasting …” by the Virginia State Legislature.  It is a fitting tribute to a deserving man—as is this documentary.  I heartily recommend it to all who can still recall the joys of curling up in front of the television set on Friday and Saturday nights, as a dedicated cadre of horror-hosts guided our initial explorations into the world of classic (and not-so-classic) Horror and Science-Fiction movies.

The Unimonster’s Second Childhood?

I find myself annoyingly close to fifty years of age, and the closer I get to that milestone (or millstone, as the case may be) the more I seek the reassurance of the familiar.  It’s not just in the world of Horror, Science-Fiction, and Exploitation film that I look for the visual equivalent of ‘Mac & cheese’ or pot roast—good, old-fashioned comfort food—I also find myself drawn to other reminders of the halcyon days of my youth.  I’ve recently taken to watching reruns of the ‘60s sitcom Hazel, a show popular in my house (even then in syndication) when I was a child.  One of my favorite topics of discussion of late is the world of superhero comic books.  Oh, and I love both Mac & cheese and pot roast.

But as is typical for me, most of what gives me solace in the face of my advancing years remains the movies which have filled those years with entertainment.  From the Universal monsters of the 1930s and ‘40s, to the Giant Bugs and Alien Invaders of the 1950s, to the blood-soaked Drive-In gorefests of the ‘60s, ‘70s, and ‘80s, nothing washes away the cares and worries of the day as well as these movies.  I’ve always turned to these films as my preferred method of relaxation, but lately I’ve rediscovered the joy of seeing them on television—commercials, cuts, and all.

With the additional bandwidth opened up by the recent switch to digital broadcasting in the United States, television stations found themselves with additional channels of which they could make use.  Many used those channels to rebroadcast news reports, or as dedicated sports or weather stations.  Some however used them to broaden the scope of their entertainment programming.  New networks sprang up to provide these stations with content, primarily classic movies and television series.  Three in particular have developed into true broadcast networks, with a national presence.  Two of these networks are received here in the Crypt, and all three are doing their part to foster a love of classic genre film.

The newcomer on the block is Tribune Broadcasting’s Antenna TV, which debuted on 1 January 2011.  Currently carried by more than forty affiliates nationwide, it’s programming is made up of Sony Pictures Entertainment’s library of more than 4,000 movies and nearly 300 television series.  Though there are no dedicated blocks of genre programming, it’s not uncommon to find a good Horror or Sci-Fi movie airing on the network’s morning movie, under the Antenna TV Theater banner.

Weigel Broadcasting’s MeTV, which began prior to 2005 on Chicago’s WFBT-23 (now WMME-23) as a three-hour block of programming on weekday afternoons.  On 1 January 2005, Weigel changed the station’s call letters to WMME, and launched MeTV full-time.  The WFBT brand was transferred to a new low-power outlet belonging to the broadcaster, becoming WFBT-48 (rechristened WMEU-48 in 2008).  With the advent of digital broadcasting, both stations air on subchannels of Weigel’s flagship station, WCIU-26.

MeTV went national on 15 December 2010 on Weigel-owned stations, and it’s now seen in 45% of the country.  Though it’s programming is almost exclusively vintage sitcoms from the M-G-M library, there is one notable exception.  Since April 2011, Berwyn’s own Svengoolie, Chicago’s premier horror-host, airs weekly on the network, Saturday nights at 10pm.  The only thing not to like about it is that MeTV doesn’t reach the Crypt.

But by far the most genre-friendly of these new networks is ThisTV, a joint-venture of Weigel Broadcasting and M-G-M.  Debuting on 1 November 2008, ThisTV has the largest percentage of feature films as a part of it’s broadcast schedule.  Not only does it have frequent month-long festivals dedicated to a particular theme, such as the recent Vincent Price celebration during his birth month of May, but they regularly devote weekly blocks of programming to Drive-in and Exploitation-style films.  A quick glance at their schedule for the first two weeks in July bears this out, with the inclusion of films such as ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE, THE CRIMSON CULT, STONE COLD DEAD, COMEDY OF TERRORS, AFTER MIDNIGHT, THE BEAST WITHIN, 10 TO MIDNIGHT, THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA and THE GIANT GILA MONSTER in the lineup.

The last two films mentioned are another reason that ThisTV has become a favorite here in the Crypt.  Both features are presented on Elvira’s Movie Macabre, the latest incarnation of Cassandra Peterson’s iconic horror-host Elvira.  Finally there’s a weekly hosted program on a channel available to the Crypt!

Some might wonder why this matters, why should I care if there’s a broadcast network that airs the Abbott & Costello films, or the Charlie Chan movies, or AIP’s fantastic collection of Horror, Science-Fiction, and Exploitation film?  Why would it matter, considering that these movies are all readily available on home video; indeed, most are already ensconced in the Crypt’s movie room?  The answer is a simple one, and works not just to my benefit, but to the benefit of genre fandom in general.

For most of us, at least those over forty years of age or so, broadcast television was the medium which introduced us to these classic movies.  Corman and Castle, Karloff and Lugosi, Lee and Cushing—I first met them all sitting in front of my parents’ 25” RCA console TV.  The Unimonster was born by the light of faded, grainy monster movies flickering across a cathode-ray tube, and every classic Horror film that airs over broadcast TV, available to one and all, has the potential of inspiring those who will carry the genre deep into the 21^st century.  The successor to the Unimonster, not to mention those who actually create the movies we love, might have begun his or her love of genre film last Saturday night watching Svengoolie unspool another classic movie.

Another reason that the airing of these movies matters to me is even simpler—the joy of being surprised, as I flip from station to station, by the sonorous tones of Vincent Price, as he relishes the evilness of Frederick Loren, or the inscrutability of Warner Oland as Charlie Chan.  The nostalgic childhood enjoyment of a movie as-is—no rewind or fast-forward, no pause, just sit back and relax, and watch—commercials and all.  Maybe the Unimonster has entered his second childhood.

Or maybe I just never completely gave up on the first.

Monsters in the Madhouse: the Wild, Wacky, and Wonderful antics of Karlos Borloff (and his Cast of Crazies)

I had intended this to be just a Horror-host Review of Monster Madhouse, the program hosted by Northern Virginia’s Heavy-Metal Monster-Hunter, Karlos Borloff, named the Unimonster’s Crypt Horror-Host of the Year for 2010.  That was before I was fortunate enough to meet Borloff (aka Jerry Moore) at last month’s HorrorHound Indianapolis Convention [Ed. Note: a full article on the Convention will be posted with the May 2011 update].  After spending some time talking with the host of Monster Madhouse, I realized that there was much more to Borloff than cheesy old movies and a funny costume.  Underneath the scaly armor and heavy metal make-up is a fellow fan, someone who loves these old monster movies as much as those who regularly tune in to his show.

Beginning in 2006, Monster Madhouse has been thrilling fans in the Washington, D. C. metropolitan area with a combination of comedy, music, and monsters—especially the Daiei Studio’s Kaijû films featuring Gamera, the giant turtle.  Moore, who has a fondness for the “man in the rubber suit” movies, prefers the classic monsters to the parade of Slasher Films that began in the early ‘80s.

In the Horse Archer productions documentary VIRGINIA CREEPERS, released in 2009 and reviewed here [DVD Review: VIRGINIA CREEPERS: THE HORROR HOST TRADITION OF THE OLD DOMINION, 6 March 2010], Moore discusses his feelings regarding his choice of movies versus the more graphic forms of Horror,

So it’s all about monsters … they’re not going to celebrate Jason Voorhees or somebody coming up like, ‘oh look, there’s a beautiful woman, I’m going to kill her.’  That’s sick, garbage.  I don’t want to see that stuff … It’s not good for kids either, man.  I don’t like seeing little kids with a SAW III shirt on.

The popularity of Moore’s program has continued to rise, due in large measure to his family-friendly selection of Monster movies.  From Godzilla, to Gamera, to Zombies and Dracula, traditional monsters and creatures rule the Madhouse.  This may, in part, be dictated by the availability of these films in Public Domain.  Most of it is due to the fact that these are the kinds of films that Moore enjoys, and wants to share with his fans.

Another facet of Monster Madhouse’s success is the variety show format.  The large cast, including Jebediah Buzzard, Lizardman, Sally the Zombie Cheerleader, Sasha Trasha, Pvt. Beauregard J. Pettigrew, and numerous others, helps fuel this high-energy show despite the frequently low quality of the movies available from which to choose.  The jokes may not always work, but when you have this many people having this much fun, some of it has to transfer to the audience.

Helping all the insanity along is a rockin’ musical beat, courtesy of Moore’s band, the Monsterminators.  From the show’s opening theme to its signature tune Die Monster Die, the bands heavy metal music provides just the right accompaniment for the program.

Behind it all, though, is Moore himself.  When meeting the creative force responsible for the Monster Madhouse face to face, one is struck by the sheer volume of energy that he exudes.  It’s interesting to watch him as he works a Convention floor—greeting fans as though they were old friends, interviewing fellow hosts and celebrities, or just popping up here and there to enliven the proceedings.  Perhaps the reason he connects so easily with his fans is that he is one himself; he came out of our ranks.  Less than six years ago Jerry Moore was, in fact, just one of us, a member of a Count Gore De Vol fanlist.  His career as Borloff began in 2005 with an invitation to make a guest appearance on Gore’s Creature Feature: the Weekly Web Program.  Playing a contractor doing a remodel on Gore’s dungeon, Moore ends up being entombed behind the wall he’s building, as the Count winds up with Moore’s lovely assistant.

Less than a year later, he was back on Creature Feature, this time with the debut appearance of the new Monster-Hunter / Horror-Host in town, Karlos Borloff.  In August of 2006, Monster Madhouse Live debuted on Public Access cable in Fairfax County, Virginia, as well as being simulcast on the internet.  Live broadcast of a Hosted Horror show was rare even as long ago as the 1960’s, and simulcasting it on the web opened the program up to viewers around the world.

Since that debut, Moore’s Madhouse has served as the Rick’s Café of the Horror-Host world, echoing Claude Rains’ line in CASABLANCA—“… everyone comes to Rick’s.”  The list of those who have found their way to the friendly confines of the Monster Madhouse is indeed impressive, from fellow Virginians Count Gore and Dr. Sarcofiguy, New England’s Penny Dreadful, Chicago’s The Bone Jangler, to Troma Films head Lloyd Kaufman.  People in the world of Horror Fandom began to take notice of Moore’s show, and the character that headlined it.  They obviously liked what they saw.

Hosted Horror shows are enjoying a renaissance of late, as more and more would-be Zacherleys and Vampiras are discovering that they no longer need to be tied to the capricious whims of corporate media in order to make their dreams come true.  If one has imagination, some talent, a willingness to work hard, and a germ of an original idea, they can see their dream reach fruition.  A few, like Jerry Moore and the assorted loonies who inhabit the Monster Madhouse, might find their audience and become a success.

Mombie's Musings: For the Love of a Horror-Host

It has become painfully apparent to me that I am getting older. My children are growing and the world is changing… MY world is changing. As I go through this painful lack of control, I find myself more nostalgic every day. I also find myself losing patience with overused words or phrases as well. This impatience I completely blame on my retail career which spanned nearly two decades. Catchphrases such as “new and improved,” “rollout,” and “ramp-up” made my head cringe, and I would go out of my way to substitute ANY word or phrase just so I didn’t have to hear them again. Since leaving the retail world to concentrate on raising my boys, I have become more cognizant of what is going on socially and politically… and well… I don’t have to tell anyone that politicians can overuse a phrase more than Carter has little pills. Oh, did that lose some of you? Okay… let’s try another… politicians can overuse a phrase more than Nintendo has Pokémon characters. There is one phrase… one I wish they would FOREVER cease to use, and that is “Fearmonger,” because to me… there was only one Fearmonger, and he invaded our home on Saturday nights in the early 1970’s. It is to him I owe a deep gratitude for the love of classic horror movies that I still have today.

In 1971, the Louisville TV market boasted only three channels (not counting the PBS channels, which you could always get in). My boys always find this amusing that we only had THREE channels to choose from, and when there was “nothing” on… well… Today, we have hundreds of channels to choose from, and STILL there is NOTHING on. In February of that year, an upstart “Independent” channel came into town, WDRB-TV 41 (now Fox). You would have thought the heavens had opened up. Finally, WE had a clown show (Presto was his name), and we would get treated to a myriad of syndicated shows like Ultraman, The Patty Duke Show, and The Munsters. Then, a beautiful thing happened in March—Fright Night premiered at 7 p.m. on Saturday nights! This was especially great for someone my age at the time (I was 10 and my three younger siblings stair-stepped down in years from me). Fright Night typically ran a double-feature, so it would fill the time slot until 10 p.m. Now, Fright Night was the Shock Theater package of films primarily containing some of the Universal and MGM classic movies that had great movie runs, and some that had B- and perhaps C-movie status. You would be treated to THEM! one week and a couple of weeks later have to contend with Ed Wood’s BRIDE OF THE MONSTER. The variety was fantastic….and to top it all off, we had a dry-humored, low-budget Horror Host to match this set-up.

Charles Kissinger was the Fearmonger. Using just a light on his face, and cracking some very...very…worn out jokes, the Fearmonger would introduce the movie and occasionally pop in-between commercial breaks. It was so low budget that we could even recreate the Fearmonger at home. Frankly…when I saw THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT….there seemed to be a bit of Fearmonger-ish camera work there. The humor was SO much appreciated too…I mean, BACK THEN…THOSE MOVIES WERE SCARY!!! I’ll never forget the torture after one showing of THE LAST MAN ON EARTH, for YEARS my brothers saw fit to torture my sister and me by pounding on our bedroom door at night and yelling, “MORGAN! COME OUT! COME OUT!! MORGAN!!” I’m not sure how many years went by before I could actually watch that movie alone, but I have recovered from that psychological sibling beat down. In fact, LMOE is one of my favorite movies and I watch it now several times a year. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Vincent Price is in it either.

Fright Night ran until September 6, 1975, and it is sad that none of the tapes of the shows exist anymore. Oh maybe perhaps SOMEONE out there recorded something…and has it buried in their barn… All I know is I have no memory of the theme song. I have a faint recollection of the Fearmonger’s voice (seemingly a cross between Karloff and Barnabas Collins). I only have a deep-appreciated love for those old movies…and this love I have passed down to my boys as well. It is difficult to believe that nearly 40 years have gone by now, and I have seen several different horror host. Many of them are much splashier with bigger budgets… Many of them injecting their own “brand” of humor into their characters and all of them with the same goal in mind—DO NOT LET THESE CLASSIC MOVIES FADE AWAY.

For me, I will always remember Saturday nights as Fright Night, and Charles Kissinger’s portrayal as the Fearmonger saying, “Good evening, Fright Night fans…”

Shhhhh….I hear pounding on my door…
I’d like to thank the following website for its information and dedication to Charles Kissinger: The Fearmonger's Chambers

Sheila “Mombie” Fiene

DVD Review: EVERY OTHER DAY IS HALLOWEEN

Title: EVERY OTHER DAY IS HALLOWEEN

Year of Release—Film: 2009

Year of Release—DVD: 2010

DVD Label: Broadcast At This Time Pictures


[Ed. Note: If you happen to be a horror-host with a current program, and would like to see it reviewed here, please contact me at unimonster64@gmail.com.]

One of the few MonsterKid touchstones that I missed was the experience of having a Horror-Host of my own. While we in Jacksonville did have a “Creatures Features” type Horror movie program, it was unhosted. Though I was familiar with the concept of the “Horror Host” by the time I entered my peak MonsterKid years, I was never fortunate enough to experience the phenomena in my youth. Technology has finally come to the rescue for those of us who were so deprived some thirty or forty years ago, with the advent of home video and the internet. Now, it is possible to enjoy Hosted programs from every corner of the country, and thousands of us ‘Baby-Boomers’ are busily making up for lost time.

Over the past several years, I’ve had the opportunity to sample many of these programs, from hosts both old and new. I’ve enjoyed Las Vegas’ Sinister Minister, Chicago’s Undead Johnny, and New England’s Penny Dreadful among many others. And along the way I’ve shared my opinions of various hosts and their programs with you the reader. One of the hosts that I’ve enjoyed immensely over the past several years is Count Gore De Vol, formerly of WDCA-20 in Washington, D.C., and now the host of Creature Features: the Weekly Web Program. Count Gore, aka Dick Dyszel, is the subject of a new documentary; EVERY OTHER DAY IS HALLOWEEN, due to be released 20 April (Ed. note: available on both Amazon.com and Count Gore’s own web-site).

EVERY OTHER DAY…, directed and produced by C. W. Prather, is a fascinating look, not just at Dyszel’s more than 35-year run as Count Gore, but at his career in local television in general, including stints as Bozo the Clown and Captain 20. It’s a fond look back at a time when there was such a thing as local TV, when stations made their own programming, much of it live. That’s a time long gone, and as with many areas of life, progress often leaves much to be desired.

We are also treated to a close look at the Count’s current home, Creature Features: the Weekly Web Program. On-line since 1998, Dyszel led the way in horror-hosting on the internet back when streaming feature length video was barely a dream. Since then, he’s become the dean of active hosts, inspiring and aiding many in their quest to take up the profession. Through participation in the Horror Host Underground, he is spreading his influence far from his northern Virginia home.

The film is well-constructed, using a good mix of vintage clips, stills, and interviews to create a thorough overview of Dyszel’s career to this point, and the future of horror-hosts in general. Many of these clips are of Dyszel’s performances as Bozo, including a great sequence where a child wins a contest they hadn’t thought anyone could win, thus had no prize to award. We also get to see Dyszel’s various guises as “Captain 20,” the host of WDCA’s afternoon children’s programming.

Part of Count Gore’s charm is the fact that he wasn’t targeted at kids, as were many of the earlier hosts. Gore was certainly loved by children during his WDCA heyday, but his humor had an edge that adults found refreshing and entertaining, and they were his true audience. With Hollywood starlets, Forry Ackerman, and the Penthouse magazine’s Pet of the Year among his frequent guests, Gore clearly knew his viewers, and how to appeal to them.

When the coffin lid closed for the final time on Dyszel’s WDCA career as Count Gore, most people would’ve been content to let sleeping vampires lie, but Dyszel had other thoughts. He began the Creature Features: the Weekly Web Program web-site in 1998, and now, instead of being content just reaching those who can get his television signal, he can reach everyone with a computer and internet access. It’s been quite a journey for Dick Dyszel, from a 19” black-and-white in Bethesda to streaming on an iPhone in Bucharest, and through this documentary, we get to follow along. And we realize by the end of the film that the best thing about that journey is that it’s not over yet.

Horror-Host Review: Penny Dreadful's Shilling Shockers

Program: Penny Dreadful’s SHILLING SHOCKERS

Host/Co-Host(s): Penny Dreadful XIII; Garou & Manfred von Bulow

Location: New Bedford, MA

Carrier: NBTV-95 Public Access Cable


[Ed. Note: This is a favorite feature here at the Crypt, reviews of some of the Hosted Horror Film shows that are available around the country. I’ve spoken before of my love for this type of show, one of the few MonsterKid touchstones that my youth was lacking. I’m making up for it now, though, by watching as many of this type of program as I can.
If you happen to host such a program, and would like to see it reviewed here, please contact me at: unimonster64@gmail.com.]


Nearly five years ago I reviewed this program for the Horror-Web, and as I recall, was quite impressed with it. Shilling Shockers was different, most notably in that the host was actually a hostess, Penny Dreadful XIII, a 600-year old witch; and while she wasn’t the first female horror-host, they are certainly few and far between. With her werewolf husband Garou, and a monster-hunter named Manfred von Bulow, she haunts televisions in the historic town of New Bedford, Massachusetts.

In that earlier review, I remarked upon the fact that, while the basic formula for the show is essentially the same that has existed since the Cool Ghoul himself first frightened viewers in the ‘50’s, the strengths of this show were found in where it deviated from the pack. Though some of what I enjoyed so much about those 1st Season episodes has been changed, overall the feel of the program hasn’t altered.

The three 4th Season episodes that I reviewed are Carnival of Dolts, featuring Herk Harvey’s 1962 low-budget chiller CARNIVAL OF SOULS; Dig it, Squarewolf, with the Roger Corman classic A BUCKET OF BLOOD; and Intangible Terror, with Mario Bava’s I TRE VOLTI DELLA PAURA ~aka~ BLACK SABBATH. As is the case with all such programs, the movies contained within are incidental to the interstitial segments, and are not a factor in my reviews.

One thing that stands out as having improved over time is the way the interstitial segments are more closely tailored to fit the episode’s feature. That was a weakness highlighted in the previous review, and the concept and execution of the host’s plotline is much tighter now.

Also, the style of the segments is subtly altered to work with the featured film. For the best of the three, Bava’s superb thriller BLACK SABBATH, Penny was alone in the attic, and the humor, though present, is more subdued, allowing the quality of the film to carry the episode. In contrast, for the episode featuring Corman’s A BUCKET OF BLOOD, the interstitials, featuring Penny, Garou, and series director Rebecca Pavia as a new-age Beatnik, are played much more broadly, imitating the plot of the movie. With Carnival of Dolts, we see yet another style employed, as the entire cast of regulars—Penny, Garou, and Manfred von Bulow—visit locations throughout the area, virtually and in person, as a creepy stranger stalks them silently in the background. Shot in black & white like the featured CARNIVAL OF SOULS, it captures perfectly the bleak despairing look of the film, while successfully injecting the trio’s morbid sense of humor.

The cast, led of course by Penny Dreadful, has definitely improved over time. Each seems more comfortable and assured in their roles, and the characters evince some pleasing development since the 1st Season. Garou, who had previously performed well in this difficult, non-speaking, role, has only improved in his ability to convey meaning using only grunts, growls, and howls. Dr. von Bulow, the erstwhile monster hunter of the group, was used sparingly, appearing in only one of the review episodes. Still, he too seems to have progressed somewhat as a character. And as for the leader of this motley crew… Penny is ‘Perfect’!

While Svengoolie is without a doubt my favorite Horror-Host, followed closely by Zacherley and Count Gore De Vol, I think it’s safe to say that none of them can compete with certain… attributes, which Penny Dreadful possesses. While it would be inaccurate to say that the reason I enjoy this program so much is that the host is an attractive woman, it would be untrue to say that it wasn’t a factor at all. As I said earlier, it is where this program departs from the norm that reveals it’s true strengths, and that is certainly a departure from the norm. It’s not the only reason I like this show; it is just part of the whole.

And the whole is a most entertaining program, one I can heartily recommend. The show can be seen in six states throughout New England, or you can purchase DVD’s from the show’s website at: http://www.shillingshockers.com/. Either way, if you enjoy curling up on a dreary evening with a good host and an often-bad movie, give Shilling Shockers a try. I think you’ll be glad you did.