Welcome to the Crypt!

Welcome to the Crypt!

Enter the Crypt as John "The Unimonster" Stevenson and his merry band of ghouls rants and raves about the current state of Horror, as well as reviews Movies, Books, DVD's and more, both old and new.

From the Desk of the Unimonster...

From the Desk of the Unimonster...

What's this? TWO updates to the Crypt in one month? That's right, fright-fans, the Unimonster is sending even more Halloween goodness your way! If only someone would perfect downloadable candy.....

Happy Halloween, and ... STAY SCARY!

Popular Posts

Followers

Essays from the Crypt

Essays from the Crypt
Buy the best of the Unimonster's Crypt

Search This Blog

04 August, 2014

Trash Palace Dumpster-- Bobbie's Best of the Bad: Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014)



As fans of the made-for-TV 2013 surprise hit Sharknado know, this aquatic disaster franchise is meant to be mocked and ridiculed. That's why it came as no surprise that last night's airing of Sharknado 2: The Second One garnered 5.3 million viewers who tweeted 215,000 tweets during it's two-hour running time. Snarks flew like the sharks in the movie with such notables as director Roger Corman tweeting "Do I sate myself? Do I soar? These are the existential questions that a shark in a #Sharknado2TheSecondOne must ask himself. So must we all" and Sharknado star Tara Reid twittering "when something bites us we bite back." So, without further ado, I give you my 6 reasons to love Sharknado 2: The Second One.
  1. Cameos! By the dozens! Seems like everyone wanted to be in this movie! From NBC-TV anchormen Al Roker to Matt Lauer arguing about whether to call it a shark storm or a sharknado before stabbing to death a shark that lands on their desk to Jared Fogel, the Subway Sandwich Shop shill, eating a subway sandwich while waiting for a subway train. In one scene that made me want to sing "Don't Break My Achy-Breaky Shark", songster Billy Ray Cyrus appears as Tara Reid's surgeon. If you've ever yearned to see rapper Sandra "Pepa" Denton gets squashed by a shark while riding a Citibike, this is the movie for you! Or if you've ever wanted to watch Robert Klein chatter with WWE Superstar Kurt Angle while they play the Mayor of New York and the Chief of the FDNY respectively, well, here ya go! Or the guy from Shark Tank get killed by the detached rolling head of The Statue Of Liberty, this one's for you, sicko! Two of the best might be Robert Hays, star of the 1980 film Airplane!, as the pilot of the airliner attacked by flying sharks, and Judd Hirsch, who starred as Alex Reiger on the 1970s series Taxi as, what else, Ben the taxi driver!


    1. It's terrifyingly easy to get access to weapons on The Big Apple. From napalm selling pizzeria owner Biz Markie to random citizens storing pick-axes, saws, machetes and machine guns in their car trunks, it's no wonder that this major metropolis area has such a high crime rate!
    2. Knowing that "during an EF5 sharknado," sharks can come down at a rate of up to "two inches an hour." And that they can do this even while being on fire! On fire while climbing stairs!
    3. In what can only be an homage to Bruce Campbell, Tara Reid's missing lower left arm is replaced with a circular saw she uses to kill the same flying shark that took her arm in the first place! After which, ex-husband Ian
      Ziering retrieves her chewed off arm from the sharks mouth, removes her wedding ring from the dead finger and, with sharks raining down all around him, drops to one knee and proposes to Tara! She says "Yes!", BTW. So, we can have romance in a disaster movie, right!?!
    4. Climate change is real. As blizzard-like conditions move in from the East and meet with tropical storms coming in from the West, it snows in New York City on a clear June day. Al Roker told us this so it must be true and not a flimsy excuse to cover up the fact that it's snowing and we can see the actor's breaths on what's supposed to be a typical Summer's day!
    5. And finally reason #6 … Sharknado 2: The Second One set a network record on Wednesday night with 3.9 million viewers for its premiere telecast. That makes it the most-watched movie in network history. What's more: It nabbed 1 billion Twitter impressions, according to the cable network.  Less than 24 hours later the SyFy channel astounded and surprised no one by announcing the third installment Sharknado 3 has been green-lit for release next year! Keep checking with SyFy.com for further updates. Meanwhile, if you missed it's premier showing July 30, it's showing again Saturday, August 2 at 7 pm. and Sunday, August 3 at 9 pm. (ET/PT).





No comments: