Welcome to the Crypt!

Welcome to the Crypt!

Enter the Crypt as John "The Unimonster" Stevenson and his merry band of ghouls rants and raves about the current state of Horror, as well as reviews Movies, Books, DVD's and more, both old and new.

From the Desk of the Unimonster...

From the Desk of the Unimonster...

Welcome everyone to the Unimonster’s Crypt! Well, the winter’s chill has settled into the Crypt, and your friendly Unimonster won’t stop shivering until May! To take my mind off the cold, we’re going to take a trip into the future … the future of Star Trek! Star Trek was the Unimonster’s first love, and we’ll examine that in this week’s essay. We’ll also inaugurate a new continuing column for The Unimonster’s Crypt, one written by the Uni-Nephew himself! This week he examines one of his favorite films, one that, quite frankly, failed to impress his uncle, Jordan Peele’s Nope. So enjoy the reading and let us hear from you, live long and prosper, and … STAY SCARY!

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01 June, 2014

These are a Few of my Favorite Things (and neither The Sound of Music nor Julie Andrews is on the list) by the Unimonster



When writers spend a great deal of time on one topic, whether it is Horror films, or food, or sports, they tend to focus on things that annoy or upset them.  It’s natural; most people are predisposed to complain, rather than to praise.  Speaking for myself, I often find it easier to make clear what I didn't like about a movie, than to explain what I did.  Ask me what was wrong with the Nicholas Cage version of The Wicker Man, and you’d better have a sizable hole in your schedule.  Ask me why Robin Hardy’s original film was so good, and while I could go on just as long, I can also sum it up in one sentence: “A director’s perfect vision, perfectly executed by the perfect performers for their roles.”

Occasionally however, it is nice to highlight those movies, objects, or people that make Horror and Sci-Fi fandom such an enjoyable hobby.  There’s a reason millions of people go to see the latest slasher films, or buy their eighth copy of Army of Darkness just to make sure they have every video release, or attend Horror conventions to get a treasured poster signed by someone who was essentially an extra in their favorite film.  They, like the Unimonster, love this hobby, and seek their own ways to express that love.  These are some of mine.
 
1.)  American Horror Story:  While AMC’s The Walking Dead is without a doubt the best Horror series on television, my personal tastes have always leaned more to the supernatural forms of horror.  Yes, gut-munching zombies are fine, and no one does a better job of bringing them to life than Greg Nicotero, but for pure horror on the small screen, the three seasons of AHSMurder House, Asylum, and Coven—are far more effective.
2.)  Horror Hosts:  Though the heyday of the Hosted Horror show is forty years in the past, there are a dedicated groups of fans that refuse to let those days fade completely from the scene, and a corps of corpses (figuratively speaking, of course) who are just as dedicated to carrying on the tradition of visiting us in our homes through the airwaves (well, Wi-Fi at least), and guiding us through the night with classic, and not-so-classic, horror films.  Svengoolie, Karlos Borloff, Penny Dreadful, and Count Gore De Vol are just a few of the many who help us celebrate the memories of days gone by.

3.)  Epic Rap Battles of History:  Okay, I know that this is a weird one, even for me, and some might wonder just what comedic rap battle videos on Youtube have to do with the world of Horror and Science-Fiction.  However, when you have such battles as Back to the Future’s Doc Brown rapping against Doctor Who, Batman vs. Sherlock Holmes, and an epic trilogy featuring Darth Vader taking on Adolf Hitler, well … it’s both genre-related, and hilarious enough to have me rolling on the floor in laughter.  Considering the new ‘season’ just kicked off with Rick Grimes battling Walter White, it seems safe to say that ERB will continue to be one of my favorites.

4.)  Conventions:  While our hobby is usually centered on the glowing phosphors shining out from our living room televisions, there’s much to be said for gathering in large numbers with like-minded people, in the fellowship of Horror / Sci-Fi fandom.  The chance to see old friends, to experience new areas of fandom, and to score new collectibles celebrating your favorite films, all are great reasons to seek out and participate in Horror conventions.  For the Unimonster, it means a time to recharge my batteries, to renew my love of everything Horror.  Oh, and new books and T-shirts … it’s not a successful con unless I leave with at least one new reference book and one new horror tee!

5.)  Kaijû:  While I love giant bugs and monsters in general, the Kaijû of Japan’s Toho studios are by far my favorites.  Godzilla, Ghidorah, Rodan, Mothra, and the rest have been friends and companions of the Unimonster almost from infancy.  Near constant exposure during the late ’60s-early ‘70s completely inoculated me with a love of foam rubber monsters stomping miniature Japanese cities to rubble.  Forty years on, that love is still going strong, and with new offerings such as last year’s Pacific Rim and Gareth Edwards’ Godzilla [see review below] scoring huge at the box office, it’s apparent that I’m not the only one who feels that way.

6.)  Comic Book Movies:  Comic books have always been a passion of mine, and the fact that Hollywood is now embracing them as well, combined with the technology that allows filmmakers to convincingly create worlds as diverse as Asgaard, Oa, Krypton, and Sin City, makes this the best era ever for the Comic Book Movie.  And with the upcoming Batman / Superman film set to go head to head against the second Avengers film, things can only get better.

7.)  1970s Exploitation Film Pressbooks:  Collecting ephemera (advertising paper, posters, lobby cards, etc.) from our favorite films can be a great way to celebrate and display your love of movies, but it can be expensive.  An original 1954 one-sheet poster for Universal’s Creature from the Black Lagoon is worth about $25,000, and a Frankenstein Meets the Wolf-Man lobby card approximately $10,000.  Pressbooks, however, can generally be had for a fraction of that, around $30-50.  And what, you may ask, are pressbooks?  Pressbooks are the advertising circulars the film distributors sent out to theaters and drive-ins giving them the information they needed to properly promote the films they would be exhibiting.  From the pressbook, they could select which posters and lobby cards to order, select newspaper ads, and order radio and television spots.  They are fascinating documents, a look behind the screen, so to speak, into the world of the motion picture business.  My personal favorites are from the 1970s, the pressbooks of the exploitation films that fed drive-ins and grindhouses with the movies that kept the fans coming back.  My collection may be small, but it’ll continue to grow … without wiping out my meager budget.

There are many more things I could add to this list, but this will do … for now.  At least, until I find something new that becomes a favorite of mine.













Godzilla / The Quiet Ones / The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Drive-In Triple-Feature



Title(s):  Godzilla / The Quiet Ones / The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Date of Theatrical Release(s):  May 16, 2014 / April 25, 2014 / May 2, 2014

MPAA Rating:  PG-13 (all)



On the 16th of May, your friendly ol’ Unimonster loaded the family truckster with food, drink, blankets, the Uni-Nephew, and the Rug-Monkey, and headed out to the local Drive-In.  Our primary goal for the night was to have a great time watching the new Godzilla film, but good timing (plus a little bit of relocating from one screen to the next during intermission) allowed us to score a triple-feature of genre films.  It was also my first chance to check out the Tibbs since they upgraded to Digital over the off-season.

Since the boys and I watched these movies as a team, we’ll review them as a team.  Each review will include their thoughts on the film in question.  So let’s go to the Drive-in!


Godzilla
We were all looking forward to Gareth Edwards’ Godzilla, the big budget reinvention of the King of all Monsters.  Following a spring filled with hype about this movie, we were all a little concerned that it might fail to deliver as much as was promised … I more so than the boys.  I still have vivid recollections of the last time the Big G appeared on American shores, in the 1998 Roland Emmerich-directed GINO (Godzilla … In Name Only) stinkfest.  It too had been massively hyped, only to disappoint legions of loyal Kaijû fans, including the Unimonster.  I hoped history wouldn’t repeat itself, but Hollywood has a poor track record in this area.

After viewing, all I can say is … this movie was fantastic!  For once, the hype wasn’t overdone; if anything, the movie was better than I expected.  This is Godzilla; Americanized, sure … but still recognizable as the Big G.  If the trailers mislead on any point, it’s the impression that Bryan Cranston is the star of the film.  His performance as Joe Brody, the first to give warning of Godzilla’s presence is good, and the character is important to the plot, but his screen time is limited.  Never having seen an episode of Breaking Bad, my impressions of Cranston all revolve around his Emmy-nominated role of Hal, Malcolm’s long-suffering father on the hit series Malcolm in the Middle.  It’s different seeing him in a dramatic role; good, but different.  I kept expecting Hal to pop-up.

The lead is nominally Aaron Taylor-Johnson, familiar to genre fans as Dave Lizewski / Kick-Ass, from Kick-Ass and Kick-Ass 2 (both highly recommended, btw), but make no mistake, the star of this film is 250 feet tall and scaly.  This is Godzilla’s film, and though I would’ve like to see more of him on-screen, his impact is unquestionable.

The one problem I do have with the film is that far too much of it looks as though it was lit with a 40-watt light bulb.  I understand using shadows to conceal something in order to build suspense, but in order for there to be shadows there must also be light.  When you’re seeing one- or two-minute sequences that are essentially just a black screen, that’s not building suspense; that’s taking the audience out of the action.
Still, that’s my one complaint, and it’s not a major one.  Overall, it’s a tremendous movie, and easily vaults to the top of my list for Movie of the Year.

The Uni-Nephew’s Review:  “Godzilla was a great movie, with lots of action and a great story!”
The Rug-Monkey’s Review:  “Great!”

The Quiet Ones
Ever since the resurrection of Hammer Films, and their first unqualified success with The Woman in Black, I’ve been waiting for the follow-up.  Something, anything, to show that the studio’s new incarnation was for real.  The Quiet Ones, the studio’s first release since The Woman in Black, is not that film.

Starring Jared Harris, Sam Claflin, and Olivia Cooke, The Quiet Ones is the type of Supernatural / Psychological horror that Hammer used to do very well, with films such as 1963’s Paranoiac or 1964’s Nightmare.  My issues with this film are that, for a “Horror” film, there’s a distinct lack of … well, Horror.  To describe the film as slow-moving would be an understatement; the movie plods along with the deliberateness of a stagnant creek.  John Pogue directed this tortoise of a film, working from a script he co-wrote with Craig Rosenberg and Oren Moverman.  I don’t know if ‘glacial’ was the pace he was shooting for … if so, then he hit the mark.
 
The characters are on the whole unlikeable; Claflin’s Brian McNeil is the closest you get to a hero for the piece, though not a very effective one.  Professor Joseph Coupland (Harris), the head of the group, is the perfect example of the ‘creepy uncle’, the kind which parents don’t let their kids visit unsupervised.  Only Cooke, as Jane Harper, the subject of the Professor’s experiments, is entertaining.  And I get the impression that that’s an accidental occurrence.

Despite all this, The Quiet Ones isn't a horrible movie … just a profoundly disappointing one.

The Uni-Nephew’s Review:  “The Quiet Ones was a good movie but could’ve been a bit faster-paced, with more horror aspects to it (considering it’s a horror movie).”
The Rug-Monkey’s Review:  “The Quiet Ones was okay, but wasn’t what I expected.”

The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Okay, confession time … I’ve never been a fan of Marvel’s Superheroes (DC all the WAY!), and Spider-Man was always my least favorite of the bunch.  Still, the recent Marvel blockbusters have made me a (partial) convert—with one exception:  Spidey.  To this old comic-book lovin’ Unimonster, he still comes across as comical, almost a parody of superheroes.  Truthfully, I fell asleep during the last big-screen adaptation of Stan Lee’s most famous creation, and expected to do the same with this one.  No one was more surprised than I that, not only did I make it through the entire film (though some credit has to go to having two rambunctious teenagers in a tightly enclosed space … think ‘pair of chimps in a Gemini space capsule’), I actually enjoyed the movie.

Granted, I know next to nothing of the character’s back story, or the various comic-book iterations of it that exist.  Andrew Garfield did a very good job playing Spider-Man, but more importantly, he did a great job playing Peter Parker, the harder of the two roles.  To be the superhero, the man or woman in the mask, cape, or tights, is easy.  It’s all action.  All one has to do is be heroic.  It’s as their secret selves that you see the cost of being the hero, as with Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne.

Emma Stone (Garfield’s real-life girlfriend) plays Gwen Stacy, the love-interest of Parker / Spider-Man, as she is aware of his secret.  This threw me at first, as the little that I do recall of the comic book Spider-Man was that his girlfriend was named Mary Jane, but I was enlightened as to the discrepancy by the boys.  Stone gives a very good performance, and there’s no denying that she’s one of the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood.

The cast overall does an excellent job, aided by a superb script from Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, and Jeff Pinkner.  Kurtzman and Orci have been one of the most successful screenwriting duos of the last decade, penning the Transformers, Spider-Man, and Star Trek franchises to box-office gold.  Marc Webb does well as director; though to be honest, with this level of talent on board, it would be hard not to.

While Spider-Man will never be a favorite Superhero of mine, not even my favorite Marvel hero, this movie surprised me in just how much I enjoyed it.

The Uni-Nephew’s Review:  “The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was a very good movie.  It has many twists to it, and a very good story.”
The Rug-Monkey’s Review:  “The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was really amazing!”


One final word on the Tibbs Drive-In’s digital upgrade is in order.  The picture quality was very good, not as vast an improvement as you would see in a similar upgrade in a conventional theater, but that’s a function of the limited amount of light that can be projected onto the screen when that screen is a hundred or more yards away from the projector, as opposed to a hundred or so feet.  Still, I mourn the loss of film, and the idiosyncrasies associated with it.  Progress may be more efficient, but it’s nostalgia that stirs the heart.






Trash Palace Dumpster-- Bobbie's Best of the Bad: Rosemary's Baby (2014)




Title:  Rosemary's Baby

Year of Release—Film:  (2014/ TV)

Reviewer:  Bobbie 

The Devil made them do it.  What else can explain NBC's decision to remake...or retell...the tale of Ira Levin's bestselling book of the same title that was turned into the classic 1968 movie Rosemary's Baby starring Mia Farrow as guileless housewife Rosemary and her conniving would-be actor husband, Guy, played by John Cassavetes.

The story:
Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse move into the once elegant but now aging Dakota, a Manhattan apartment building.  Rosemary sets about remaking the apartment into a stylish home while Guy tries out for an off-Broadway play.  An older couple Roman Castevet (Sidney Blackmer) and Minnie (Ruth Gordon) have a tragedy in their lives when their "ward" Terry (Victoria Verte) commits suicide and they befriend Guy and Rosemary.

During a dinner party, Guy is enamored by Roman's tales of far-away places and they begin a friendship that leaves Rosemary feeling odd man out.  Guy, by way of an apology, promises Rosemary that she would get the one thing she has been dreaming of...pregnancy!  During the romantic dinner planned to make this occur, Minnie brings over dessert..."a chocolate mouse...her specialty.”  After eating it, Rosemary feels drugged and passes out.  She begins dreaming about boating with President Kennedy and the Pope.  Suddenly, the dream becomes a nightmare of Rosemary being raped by Satan as a coven of witches chant beside the bed.
The next morning Rosemary wakes up badly scratched, with Guy confessing he "didn't want to miss baby night" so he had gone ahead with sex even though Rosemary was unconscious.  Soon, Rosemary learns she's pregnant and they celebrate the good news with their new and increasingly intrusive friends, the Castevets.  More good news follows as Guy learns he's landed the lead role in the play that would certainly make him a star!  However, not all is well as Rosemary becomes sick and is in a great deal of pelvic pain.  Her OB/GYN, Dr. Sapirstein (Ralph Bellamy) assures her that it is just stiff joints and has Minnie make Rosemary a daily vitamin drink.

However, as the months pass, Rosemary's pain increases until she is practically bed-ridden, now paranoid about Guy close connections with their next-door neighbors, the Castevets!  Was the nightmare really just a nightmare?  Moreover, why does Rosemary hear chanting and flute plying from the Castevet's apartment?  What did Rosemary's friend, Hutch (Maurice Evens), mean when he instructed from his deathbed that Rosemary be given a book titled All of Them Witches?  And what about her husband's sudden success on stage?  Was it a conspiracy against Rosemary?  Or is it about her baby?  For those who have been living under a rock or in a cave for the past 40 years and have never read Ira Levin's best-selling novel or seen the Oscar-winning and enormously successful movie or even the 2014 retelling of it, I'll not give spoilers.

What made the 1968 movie was the sense of creeping horror as the viewer is drawn along with Rosemary's dawning realization that something isn't right in her World.  However, it was Roman Polanski's riveting style as director that gives Rosemary's Baby it's spooky atmosphere and morbid humor as he slowly but surely ratchets up the tension and horror.  Film critic Roger Ebert wrote in his June 29, 1968 review “...the brilliance of the film comes more from Polanski's direction, and from a series of genuinely inspired performances...” and “the best thing that can be said about the film, I think, is that it works.  Polanski has taken a most difficult situation and made it believable, right up to the end.  In this sense, he even outdoes Hitchcock.  Both ‘Rosemary's Baby’ and Hitchcock's classic ‘Suspicion’ are about wives, deeply in love, who are gradually forced to suspect the most sinister and improbable things about their husbands.”  The original Rosemary's Baby sits comfortably at number 9 on the AFI 100 Years...100 Thrills list.

Now let's examine 2014 re-telling of this story...what worked ... and what didn't.  This new version, penned by Scott Abbot and James Wong, radically updates the Ira Levin novel.  This time around, Rosemary (Zoe Saldana) is a ballet dancer and sole breadwinner for herself and her husband Guy (Patrick J. Adams).  After a miscarriage, she and Guy move to Paris where he has been offered a position as a teacher at the Sorbonne.  After an apartment fire leaves them homeless, they are invited by their new elitist friends, Roman Castevet (Jason Isaacs) and his wife Marguax (Carol Bouquet) to live in the Castevet's exclusive private apartment complex.  In the Polanski film, the devils are an old couple in a dusty Manhattan building.  In the newer version, Roman and Marguax are younger, more glamorous, seductive and extremely wealthy.  One can see that they would think everything has it's price.  Guy has what they want.  A vessel for Satan's unborn child!  A child he is willing to sell, if the price is right!  While Saldana played her part very convincingly, Patrick Adams played Guy as blandly as vanilla ice cream.  Not very convincing and at one point actually acted guilty about his part in the conspiracy and offered to flee Paris with Rosemary.  That ruined the whole plot.  In addition, if you watched any of the commercials for the mini-series, you might have noticed that all of them were shots from the second part, and wondered, ‘why’?  The answer is that the first part was as stagnant as pond water.  I could almost hear Joel singing, “Slow the plot down, boys … Slow the plot down!”  Disappointing!

Polish-born director Agnieszka Holland explains in a May 8, 2014 interview for the New York Times “my Rosemary is much more willful and stronger.”  But she added that Rosemary remains a victim to the nature of motherhood, “dependent on the people who decide, instead of her, what to do with her body.  The notion of postnatal and prenatal depression, and the feeling that you don’t own yourself anymore, that you’re not yourself anymore, it’s a quite important subject of ‘Rosemary’s Baby’.” 

The 2014 version is far more gory than the original, replacing the chicken heart Mia chews on with a human heart.  In the 1968 version, Guy gets the lead in the play because the other candidate went blind.  In the 2014 version, Guy's competition for the teaching position goes crazy during the job interview and attacks the interviewer with a letter opener before slicing her own throat.

And while all that red might look interesting against the somber, almost blue and white film, it loses the psychological horror to replace it with rivers of gore.  Bad move.  The original pulled the audience along with Rosemary; we shared her increasing sense of dread, realizing that only when Rosemary knew, we'd know!  And to borrow a line from late-director Dave Friedman, the remake was all sizzle and no steak.  But, the worst part of this is that audience members might be put off watching the original Rosemary's Baby or reading Ira Levin's marvelous book.  And therein lays the real shame.


Bobbie




The Price of Fear (or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Man) by S. J. Martiene



Once upon a time, when I was but a little ghoul, I watched The Last Man on Earth on FRIGHT NIGHT with The Fearmonger.  Tweener that I was (and having two tormenting younger brothers), I was irrationally frightened of all those zombies and bothered that there was only ONE guy left on earth to fight them.  My brothers further exacerbated that fear by banging on our (the room I shared with my sister) bedroom door shouting, “MORGAN!!  MORGAN!!!  Come out, MORGAN!!!”  As they would return to their room, giggling, the eventual result of their teasing started a great fascination v. fear complex with Vincent Price.  The movie, The Tingler, did nothing to abate my fears.  Those William Castle touches of turning the “blood” in the film red made me want to turn away; or at least cover my eyes so I could peek between my fingers at the rest of the story.  It wasn’t until I was much older and wiser that I learned to love Vincent Price movies, TV Shows, and Radio Programs seeking out as many as I could view.  I have become a full-blown fangirl.

Vincent Price was born on May 27th, 1911 (a birthday he shares with Christopher Lee).  This month marks the end of the “Vincentennial” (as it has been pegged), a year-long celebration of the actor’s life with special events schedule in St. Louis around the time of his birthday.  This festival included movies, forums, and a display of memorabilia from his fans. 

The lucky people who were fortunate enough to meet or exchange correspondence with Mr. Price said he was a kind man and always had time for his fans.  I think hearing that was one of the main reasons I became so interested in seeing as much of his body of work as possible.  Perhaps through that, I COULD get to know him better.  When he passed in 1993, I (along with many others), were deeply saddened.  The solace we took in it was the knowledge he had over 50 years of work etched into film, TV, and radio.  We could ALWAYS see and hear him.  For that, I will always be grateful.
One of the nice things about being a fan of Vincent Price is that he was able to handle many genres effectively.  His range included being a comedic actor in SERVICE DE LUXE, HIS KIND OF WOMAN and COMEDY OF TERRORS, to dramatic performances in DRAGONWYCK, ELIZABETH AND ESSEX, and WHALES OF AUGUST, to ANY and ALL of his sinister performances throughout the decades.  He never became too much of a “just for adults” type actor.  Price did many animated feature voiceover performances as well:  The Great Mouse Detective, The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo, Tiny Toon Adventures, and Tim Burton’s Vincent, are just a few of the shows that endeared him to younger audiences too.  On TV, he could be the villainous Egghead (of the Batman TV series) or guest star on Columbo, The Bionic Woman, and Alfred Hitchcock Presents.  Whether villain, comedy relief, or dramatic presence, having Vincent Price in the cast made THAT show better.  Finally, on radio, he was the long-time voice of The Saint, a frequent guest on Suspense, and later in his career he had his own show called The Price of Fear.  He could be murderer or hero.  It never mattered.  He was excellent.
Now, I’m not going to get through highlights of his entire repertoire.  You, gentle reader, would be here for DAYS.  I will highlight some of my favorites.

MOVIES:
In His Kind of Woman, a film noir/comedy, Vincent plays (to the hilt) a ham actor named Mark Cardigan.  Nasty, noir-ish things are happening all around him with Robert Mitchum, Jane Russell, and Raymond Burr, but he doesn’t have a clue.  He tries to be a hero ... BUT does he succeed?  TCM runs this movie fairly often, so check it out!  Here is an example of the great lines:

Dan Milner: I'm too young to die. How about you?
Mark Cardigan: Too well-known.
Dan Milner: Well, if you do get killed, I'll make sure you get a first-rate funeral in Hollywood, at Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
Mark Cardigan: I've already had it. My last picture died there.

In Comedy of Terrors he is teamed up with fellow horror-genre actors Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, and Basil Rathbone.  Price plays Waldo Trumbull, an undertaker, who has a scheme to drum up business:  killing his own customers!  The interplay between all these actors (Basil Rathbone is Shakespearean-quoting ham in this flick) PLUS the added talent of Joyce Jameson as the long-suffering Mrs. Trumbull, makes this movie a standout.  I could not pick just one line to quote on this one.  The entire film shoots arrows from beginning to end.
Vincent Price co-starred with Gene Tierney in films three times:  Laura, Leave Her to Heaven and Dragonwyck.  ALL of these films are among my favorites.  The only change I would like to have seen is Price in the lead male role in Leave Her to Heaven.  I never could understand why Ellen (Tierney) would choose Cornel Wilde over Vincent Price … maybe that’s just me.

RADIO
Over the last decade, I have become a HUGE fan of Old Time Radio shows.  The site, www.archive.org is a great place to retrieve these shows.  I like them because I load them up on my mp3 player and listen daily.  The Saint series, though not well-liked by some because of its writing, featured Price as private eye Simon Templar.  This character was portrayed in the movies by George Sanders, Roger Moore, and Val Kilmer.  He fit this role well as it had both comedy and action elements.  Price also had some very good stories on radio’s Suspense, Escape, and his own show, Price of Fear.  The story, Three Skeleton Key (series, Escape) is considered the best of all the renditions.  You can listen to it here:  http://www.archive.org/details/ThreeSkeletonKeyIt is the story of three men trapped in a lighthouse after it is run over with rats.  I don’t know that there was ever a movie made from this story, but it would be a good one.  In The Hunting Trip (with character actor Lloyd Nolan), Fugue in C Minor (with the WONDERFUL Ida Lupino), and Rave Notice, he is either murderer or … accidental victim.  I’ll let you listen to those and find out for yourself.
 
Television
I’ve had the most fun trying to find as many of Vincent Price’s TV work as I can.  He did quite a bit of guest roles in many shows I watched growing up:  Batman, The Red Skelton show, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Columbo, The Brady Bunch, The Bionic Woman, and Night Gallery.  He also had the job as a narrator of A Christmas Carol, a 1949 TV short.
In addition to all of this he

was an author, art collector, a gourmet cook, and he recorded many gothic horror stories to LP.  A Coven of Witches Tales is probably my favorite.  Someone kindly added them to their website which you can find here:  http://www.thesoundofvincentprice.com/coven1.html.

If I am in the mood for comedy, drama, or film noir or horror, I can ALWAYS find something starring Vincent Price.  I’m never disappointed except in the cases where I wished he had more of a presence.  The above scribblings have been only a few of the reasons I am such a fangirl.  I know I left out many movies worth mentioning but you see, I’ve only scratched the surface. 
A quote attributed to Price is as follows:   
“I've come to believe remembering someone is not the highest compliment - it is missing them.”

And yes, in Vincent Price’s case….I miss him very much.


01 May, 2014

Shows that go Bump in the Night: Unimonster’s Favorite (and not-so-favorite) Paranormal Television Series



During my prolonged absence from these pages, your friendly ol’ Unimonster relocated the Crypt, and this move afforded me the opportunity to once again join the world of subscription TV service.  In other words, for the first time in nearly ten years, Uni’s Crypt is hooked up to cable.  In addition to discovering the Robertson clan, of A&E’s Duck Dynasty, a program with which I immediately fell in love, Man v. Food (honestly, you have to admire a man who’ll attempt to wrestle 74 oz. of steak into submission), and having the question, “what the hell is a ‘Honey Boo-Boo’” answered, I found a wealth of programming choices of which I had been ignorant.  Shows that appealed to the history-lover in me, shows that appealed to my inner ‘foodie’, even two networks devoted to guns and hunting.  Of course, me being me, a large number of the programs that captured my attention have reality-based horror or paranormal overtones.

I’m not referring to fictional Horror series, such as FX’s American Horror Story or AMC’s The Walking Dead.  Both are superb examples of horror storytelling, especially The Walking Dead, which takes the skin-ripping, gut-munching zombie genre and elevates it to a level of which Romero, Fulci, and O’Bannon could only dream.  Those series deserve an in-depth look in these pages, and will, in time, receive it.  But this month we look at the shows that are factually-based, or at least claim to be.  Those series that examine the paranormal world around us with, if not an open mind, then at least one that is a little less dead-set against the idea of the supernatural.

Such programs are hardly new.  The mid-1970s were a time when America’s interest in paranormal activity, especially UFOs and cryptids, those mysterious beasts such as Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster, was at a fever pitch.  There was a spate of movies examining such unexplained phenomena as the Bermuda Triangle, and the possibility that ancient extraterrestrials had been responsible for wonders such as Stonehenge and the Pyramids.  Among the most notable (or perhaps notorious would be more fitting) of these was 1973’s The Legend of Boggy Creek.  Filmed in a pseudo-documentary style that is now referred to as a ‘docudrama’, the film purported to examine the legends of the Fouke monster, a bigfoot-like creature said to inhabit the woods and swamps of southwestern Arkansas.

In addition to spawning movies and documentaries, this interest in the paranormal gave birth to a series created by Alan Landsburg, a prolific television writer and producer.  Landsburg, who had previously produced the biographical documentary Kennedy, the First Thousand Days, which was screened for the 1964 Democratic National Convention, was inspired by the success of three made-for-TV documentaries on the paranormal that he had produced beginning in 1973 to turn the concept into a weekly syndicated series.  Debuting on 17 April, 1977, In Search Of… examined an incredibly diverse collection of topics during its five-year run, ranging from the possibility that Earth had been visited in ancient times by aliens (also the topic of the first made-for-TV documentary), to the disappearance of Amelia Earhart, to the prospect that North Vietnam was secretly keeping American MIAs prisoner nearly a decade after the end of US involvement in the Vietnam War.  Hosted by Leonard Nimoy, formerly of Star Trek fame, the series had a built-in appeal for those lovers of Sci-Fi that would form the series’ most devoted fan base.  The show’s original run ended on 1 March, 1982, after 144 episodes, though it was briefly revived in 2002, with The X-Files’ Mitch Pileggi as host.  This incarnation of the series lasted only eight episodes.
On 17 April, 1992, fifteen years to the day that In Search Of… premiered, the Fox Broadcasting Network launched Sightings, a similar program presented in an investigative news magazine format, a sort of Inside Edition on the world of the paranormal.  Hosted by journalist Tim White, the series wasn't as wide-ranging as its predecessor, though it was nearly as successful, lasting until September, 1997.  Following the end of the series’ regularly scheduled run, a number of Sightings specials were produced, as well as a fictionalized, made-for-TV movie, Sightings: Heartland Ghost.  Reruns were shown on the Sci-Fi Channel (now SyFy) until April, 2003.

As it was ending its run, the stage was being set for a new pattern of paranormal television, a style of programming that owed as much to Oprah Winfrey and Jerry Springer as it did to In Search Of… and Sightings.  The prototype of these shows, and one of the Unimonster’s personal favorites, was Haunted History, which began its run on The History Channel with the special, Haunted History: Charleston, in October of 1998.  Though it suffered from a relatively low number of episodes produced (only two specials and twenty-five regular episodes aired between 26 October, 1998 and 11 August, 2001) and erratic scheduling, the series featured high production values, interesting locales, and real efforts to capture, in-depth, both the legends and the facts behind the legends.  It also eschewed the sensationalism and tabloid-style approach of later programs.  The series enjoyed a brief revival in the fall of 2013, with eight new episodes being produced.  These bore little resemblance to the original version, and were generally inferior to it.

At approximately the same time as the original run of Haunted History was winding down, a new program was getting underway on, of all networks, MTV.  Using the then-innovative concept of a competition, with the participants filming themselves with handheld cameras, night vision equipment, and static cameras placed strategically around the location to be investigated.  MTV’s Fear debuted in 2000, the first episode placing a group of young adults inside the recently closed West Virginia State Penitentiary at Moundsville.  The six ‘investigators’ were locked in the prison overnight, staying in a prepared ‘safe room’ base of operations, from which they would be dispatched, in one or two-person, color-coded teams, to explore areas of supposed paranormal activity.  After the location had been thoroughly examined, then any participants who hadn't quit the challenge would share in a cash prize.

Subsequent episodes would take place at the Ideal Cement factory (renamed the Duggan Brothers Cement factory for the show) in Castle Hayne, North Carolina, on board the World War II aircraft carrier USS Hornet, moored in Alameda, California, and at Eastern State Penitentiary in Philadelphia.  Though the series was one of MTV’s most popular shows, the high costs of producing it doomed the program, with only sixteen episodes having aired over two seasons.  However, while the show was short-lived, it was one of the most influential of the early paranormal reality series, especially the look and style of the show.  While MTV drew some fire for the obvious stage management of the so-called investigations, no one was claiming that this was a serious examination of paranormal phenomena.  The fans of the show accepted it at face value, realizing that it was nothing more than Survivor … with ghosts.
In 2004, with the phenomenon of “Reality TV” at its peak, the granddaddy of the paranormal reality genre premiered on the SyFy network.  Ghost Hunters, which chronicled the activities of a pair of plumbers from Rhode Island who headed a paranormal investigating group in their off hours, first aired on 6 October, 2004, and soon became a huge success.  Featuring Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson, Roto-Rooter employees and the co-founders of The Atlantic Paranormal Society, or TAPS, the show followed the organization’s investigations into allegedly haunted locations.  Though the team’s efforts in the first season were limited to the northeastern US, by the second season the program’s success had led to investigations being conducted throughout the US, as well as the beat-up old TAPS van being retired for new rolling stock, and the team relocating from the trailer that had been their headquarters to rented offices.

While critics have found fault with the team’s investigative techniques, and fans have remarked that, despite the promotional hype each new episode brings they never seem to encounter anything of note, the series has continued to grow, despite Wilson leaving the show in the middle of the eighth season, and still enjoys good ratings.  What’s more, it has inspired a host of imitators across the cable landscape.

Following the success of Ghost Hunters, it seemed as though every cable network worth its licensing fees had to have a paranormal investigation program on its schedule.  At the higher end of the spectrum, at least in terms of seriousness and credibility, and of a completely different style was the Discovery Channel’s A Haunting.  Featuring a combination of interviews with the actual witnesses to the activity in question, as well as filmed reenactments, A Haunting never developed the massive amount of media attention that Ghost Hunters garnered, despite being the better of the two series, in the Unimonster’s humble opinion.  It did help popularize the reenactment type of paranormal series as opposed to the investigative style of programming.  Another excellent reenactment series is the SyFy channel’s Paranormal Witness.  Superficially similar to A Haunting, it manages to convey, even better than the latter series, the frightening aspects of the cases being examined.

Crowding the viewing landscape at the lower end of the paranormal spectrum we have haunted animals (Animal Planet’s The Haunted), haunted hillbillies (Ghostland, Tennessee, also on Animal Planet, and SyFy’s Deep South Paranormal), haunted collectibles (Deals from the Dark Side and Haunted Collector, both on SyFy), even a haunted gold mine (SyFy’s Ghost Mine).  While all are interesting, to varying degrees, all are lacking the key ingredient that makes a program of this type work, at least for me.  They just aren't scary.

Granted, it can be difficult for these programs to be overtly frightening, whether investigative- or reenactment-based.  Programs such as A Haunting lack the real-time element and familiar cast that can draw the viewer into the location, making them feel a part of what is happening on-screen.  Conversely, the investigative series try so hard to establish their credibility that it seems they seek to avoid anything genuinely frightening.  This is the greatest flaw in the otherwise interesting Ghost Hunters.  Each week, SyFy airs commercials hyping the upcoming episode, giving it the appearance of the most terrifying spectacle ever to air on television.  As the program airs, however, we are left with scenes of the TAPS team wandering through some darkened hallways, seeing vague shapes uncaptured by any camera, hearing faint noises that could be ghostly voices, or could be a crewmember’s stomach rumbling.  Just as something mildly interesting seems to be getting underway, that’s the cue for Hawes to call it a night, telling his team to pack it in.  Then the episode ends with the lead investigators sitting down with the ‘client’ to review what evidence they have collected, and proclaim that they can’t say, with any degree of certainty, whether the location is actually haunted.

Two series, however, manage to achieve that rare mix of credibility and excitement that quickly made them favorites of the Unimonster.  The Travel Channel’s The Dead Files features a retired NYPD homicide detective and young female medium who travel to a new location weekly, at the request of someone who is experiencing what can only be described as spectral attacks.  Conducting their investigations separately, never interacting until they meet with the homeowners to reveal their findings, Detective Steve DiSchiavi, NYPD (ret.) and psychic Amy Allen each bring their talents to bear on the case, DiSchiavi by interviewing the clients and researching the background of the location, and Allen by conducting a night-time ‘ghost walk’ through the property (without the residents being present), in which she not only sees dead people, but interacts with them.  Despite their differing styles of investigation, both bring a sincerity and compassion to their work, a concern that speaks to their experience with horror in their own lives.  What makes the show so enjoyable to me is the degree to which the separate investigations dovetail once the pair comes together for the reveal.  Unless one totally discounts the reality aspect of the show, then that level of synchronicity between the two is impressive.

By far my favorite show of this type, however, stars three thirty-something guys who roam the world picking fights with ghosts, poltergeists, and assorted other supernatural entities, locking themselves into the most famous haunted locations imaginable, without any crew other than themselves and an occasional guest investigator, and experiencing what comes across as genuinely terrifying situations.  Ghost Adventures, also on the Travel Channel, is the brainchild of 37-year-old Zak Bagans, a Las Vegas-based documentary filmmaker.  It stemmed from Bagans’ desire to capture proof of the paranormal on camera.  Previously skeptical about the existence of spirits, he reportedly changed his mind following an encounter he had with the specter of a suicide victim in his apartment in Michigan.  He and 34-year-old Nick Groff filmed a documentary in 2004 examining haunted sites in Virginia City and Goldfield, Nevada.  38-year-old Aaron Goodwin is the third member of the team, or, as they refer to themselves, the “GAC,” or Ghost Adventures Crew.  He and Groff met at UNLV as film students and he joined the crew after the initial documentary was produced.

Though critics deride the show’s confrontational, aggressive style of investigation, Bagans defends it, claiming repeatedly that it’s done only to provoke those spirits with a demonstrated propensity to attack the living.  It does seems to get results, with the team’s documented success in gathering photographic, audio, even video evidence of paranormal activity.  It also makes for damn good television, as the trio explores such historic sites as the Winchester Mansion; the Villisca, Iowa home in which two adults and six children were brutally murdered in June of 1912; and Bobby Mackey’s Music World, a night club in Wilder, Kentucky that might be the most malevolent location the series has investigated in what is now nine seasons on the air.  After touring the site with the owner / caretakers, reviewing the history of the site, and giving us a glimpse of the local attractions (remember, it is the Travel Channel), our intrepid investigators are locked inside the location for the night, with only their own cameras to record the night’s events.

Though occasionally the investigations fail to deliver much in the way of spectral activity, some are truly frightening.  The ninth season premiere, which aired on 15 February, 2014, featured an investigation of the David Oman mansion, in Hollywood, California.  The house, located in Benedict Canyon, at 10050 Cielo Drive, is built on the location of one of the most infamous crimes of the 20th Century … the Manson family murders of Sharon Tate, Jay Sebring, and three others in the early morning hours of 9 August, 1969.  The original house was torn down in the 1990s, and the current home was subsequently built by producer David Oman.  Soon after the home was built strange events began to occur, and Oman soon came to realize that he had inherited some, tenants, from the former home.  The Ghost Adventures Crew had one of their most terrifying investigations to date in that house, and while I’ll do nothing to reveal any spoilers, I will say this much:  While I would love to join in with the GAC on one of their adventures, and would enjoy touring many of the locations they have visited, you couldn't pay me to visit the Oman house … even in the daylight.


I’ve only touched upon a few of the paranormal television series that currently populate the cable landscape, and more are sure to come.  The occult and the paranormal have always drawn an audience, and that isn't likely to change now.  Also not likely to change is the cable networks willingness to profit from it.










Unimonster's Drive-In Classics - Roger Corman’s Cult Classics—Nurses Collection Box Set: Candy Stripe Nurses; Night Call Nurses; Private Duty Nurses; The Young Nurses



Title:  Roger Corman’s Cult Classics—Nurses Collection Box Set: Candy Stripe Nurses; Night Call Nurses; Private Duty Nurses; The Young Nurses

Year of Release—Film:  1974; 1972; 1971; 1973

Year of Release—DVD:  2012

DVD Label:  Shout! Factory

Reviewer:  Unimonster




Anyone who is a fan of the CBS comedy series How I Met Your Mother is familiar with the theory expounded by Barney Stinson, played by Neil Patrick Harris, that in every era there is a profession towards which hot young women naturally gravitate.  In the early 1970s, there were two such professions—stewardesses (not flight attendants, that would come later), and nursesAnd true to form, both professions were frequently the subject of Exploitation films.

Roger Corman, the master of the low-budget movie, was never one to miss a trend, and often initiated them.  Such was the case when his newly formed New World Pictures chose as its first release in 1970 The Student Nurses, directed by Stephanie Rothman.  The movie did well enough to lead Corman to produce at least four more such films, and in 2012 these four were released in another of Shout! Factory’s excellent series of Roger Corman’s Cult Classics DVD sets.

Corman’s formula for these films was a simple one—take three or four beautiful young nurses, give each a plotline to follow, which would typically be something trendy or politically topical.  One girl would be the sweetheart, either innocent or slutty, looking for Mr. Right, or just Mr. Right Now.  One would be highly intelligent, usually more so than the doctors, and anxious to prove it; and the third girl would be the radical, representing the liberal feminist and racial themes that were close to both Cormans’—Roger and his wife Julie, who was producer on these movies—hearts.  Stir in generous helpings of sex, nudity, and action, and these movies were guaranteed box-office gold.

Private Duty Nurses (1971)

The earliest film in the set (one wishes that The Student Nurses had been included); this was the weakest of the four films, in my opinion.  It lacks many of the elements that one would expect to find in this kind of movie, namely copious amounts of female nudity, some measure of humor, and any semblance of a coherent plot—much less three of them.

Written and directed by George Armitage, what story there is in the movie is focused on the male counterparts to our three leading ladies—Spring (Kathy Cannon), who gets involved with a Vietnam vet with a death wish; Lynn (Pegi Boucher), who falls for a married ambulance attendant whom she meets when she finds a dead body on the beach; and Lola (Joyce Williams), who is dating a black doctor who’s the victim of discriminatory practices at the hospital where the girls work.

In the hands of a more competent director, there’s enough meat on these bones to flesh out a decent movie.  However, the women in the cast are given little to do except stand in the background, look pretty, listen to the men speak their lines, and (not nearly enough to save this movie) take their clothes off.  Not only does the lack of focus on the titular leads hurt this movie, but it’s by far the most political of the films, with the viewer constantly pummeled by the big three of the early 1970s causes—Vietnam, Racial Unrest, and the Environment.  That couldn't have been very entertaining in 1971; it definitely isn't now.

Night Call Nurses (1972)

Following on the heels of Private Duty Nurses, Jonathan Kaplan’s Night Call Nurses corrected some of the flaws present in the earlier film.  Kaplan, who was recommended to the Cormans by Martin Scorsese, was given a great degree of freedom by Corman.  He was allowed to rewrite the script, cast the movie, and edit the finished product—a massive amount of responsibility for a 25-year-old making his directorial debut.  The only part that was cast when Kaplan came on board was that of Janis, to be played by Alana Collins, the future former Mrs. George Hamilton and Rod Stewart—not at the same time.

Barbara (Patti T. Byrne), Sandra (Mittie Lawrence), and Janis are nurses in a psychiatric ward at an inner-city hospital.  Innocent young Barbara, under pressure from her boyfriend to conquer her sexual hang-ups and consummate their relationship, is seeing a sex therapist (Clint Kimbrough, who a year later would direct The Young Nurses) who has an unprofessional interest in the girl.  She soon becomes aware that she is being stalked—by a mysterious figure in a nurse’s uniform.

Janis, meanwhile, has become infatuated with a truck driver who has been in the hospital treating his addiction to amphetamine.  He claims that he only takes it in order to do his job, and that without it he can’t meet his schedules.  She takes him under her care—in more ways than one.

While this has been taking place, Sandra has been approached by a black militant seeking to get a message through to the leader of his movement, currently in the hospital’s jail ward after an alleged suicide attempt in prison.  At first resistant, Sandra soon becomes embroiled in a plan to free the prisoner.

Narrowly losing out to Candy Stripe Nurses as the best of Corman’s ‘Nurse’ films, despite having a weaker cast and script, the movie’s quality, what there is of it, can be ascribed to Kaplan’s ability as director.  The only one of the four featured in this set to have success as a mainstream filmmaker, Kaplan directed Jodie Foster in her Best Actress Oscar-winning role as Sarah Tobias in 1988’s The Accused.

The Young Nurses (1973)

When the first camera shot post-opening credits is a lovely young blonde sunning herself topless on a sailboat, you know that whatever else The Young Nurses is going to be, a thought-provoking, sensitive, intellectual study of the day-to-day lives of medical professionals it isn’t.  Directed by Clint Kimbrough, a long-time member of Corman’s stock company, The Young Nurses is pure exploitation; what plot exists is there solely by chance, and is for the most part too convoluted to engender any interest on the part of the viewer.

Three young nurses (despite there being four women on the poster, there were only three female leads … Corman’s ‘Nurse’ posters always featured an extra nurse) work at the only hospital to seemingly have an attached marina.  Kitty (Jean Manson), the beautiful blonde mentioned above, rescues then falls in love with a young man who managed to fall overboard from his boat while ogling her sunbathing.  Joanne (Ashley Porter), a brilliant nurse, believes she knows more than half the doctors on staff—and doesn’t hesitate to act like it.  And Michelle (Angela Gibbs) is hot on the trail of pushers who are flooding the streets with a deadly new drug.  That’s it … that’s the script.  The rest is filler—nurses getting naked on cue, the obligatory bumbling doctors, actors who either overplay or underplay every scene, and just enough nudity, sex and action to make it all fun.

The only bright points in the film are the performance of Allan Arbus as Dr. Krebs, and the final on-screen appearance of Mantan Moreland (billed as Man Tan Moreland) in a cameo role.  Arbus, best remembered as Dr. Sidney Freedman, the wise-cracking psychiatrist from the TV series M*A*S*H, is clearly the only member of the cast present for his acting ability.  Moreland, whose career began in the era of segregated films in the 1930s, had his most memorable role as Birmingham Brown in the series of Charlie Chan movies produced by Monogram Pictures in the mid-1940s.

All that being said, The Young Nurses does what it’s supposed to do.  It just doesn’t go overboard doing it … I know, I apologize.

Candy Stripe Nurses (1974)

The end of Corman’s ‘Nurse’ cycle was also the best of the series, Alan Holleb’s Candy Stripe Nurses.  Providing just the right balance of sex, plot, action and humor, and starring the queen of sexploitation films in the early ‘70s, Candice Rialson, Candy Stripe Nurses manages to be entertaining on a number of levels.

The film follows the exploits of three ‘candy-stripers’, young women who volunteer as nurses at a big city hospital.  Each girl has her own motives for volunteering:  Sandy (Rialson) simply wants to be close to her doctor boyfriend (as well as several of her patients); Dianne (Robin Mattson) sees it as the first step on her way to becoming a doctor; and Marisa (Maria Rojo), was ordered to volunteer as a consequence of attacking a teacher at her school.  The trio each finds a challenge to their talents, medical and otherwise.  Sandy works her way into the hospital’s sex clinic as a receptionist, a position which she uses to meet up with a famous rock and roll star who’s suffering, in the pre-Viagra 1970s, from an embarrassing lack of, um … enthusiasm, for his groupies.

Dianne falls in love with a basketball player who was admitted with what she believes were the symptoms of a drug overdose, but no one believes her, especially when the blood test comes back negative.  And Marisa takes up the cause of a young man in the prison ward, charged with robbing a gas station.  Only he swears to her that he is innocent.


The three plots are well-managed, and Holleb keeps things from becoming too tangled and confusing.  It’s not high art, but then what Corman film is?  It does the job, providing an hour and twenty minutes of mindless entertainment while munching popcorn.  That’s what it was intended to do in 1974, and it still does it today.