2008 in Review

Yes, as hard as it is to believe, it has been twelve months since we last gathered to dissect the year’s best and worst, and it’s been a busy time since then. Change was the year’s buzzword, and life, at least for the Unimonster, underwent many changes, some not so good, but many for the better. The Unimonster’s Crypt was nominated for a Rondo Award as the best website of 2007, and I began a semi-regular video spot on http://www.theindychannel.com/ Off the Cuff web series. At the same time, several personal transitions meant that the Crypt has lain dormant for many months, a situation which, hopefully, has come to an end.

The genre world has undergone many transitions itself this past year. It was, as far as Fantasy films were concerned, the year of the Super-hero. From HANCOCK, to IRON MAN, to the critically-acclaimed block-buster THE DARK KNIGHT, costumed crime-fighters ruled the box-office, with the top three such films accounting for more than a Billion dollars of revenue alone. Science-Fiction was well represented too, with films such as CLOVERFIELD, THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, and STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS on Box-Office Mojo’s (http://www.boxofficemojo.com/) List of the top—100 Grossing films of 2008.

Unfortunately however, Horror Films were particularly under-represented in the top—20, even the top—50. The abysmally dull TWILIGHT was the only “Horror Film” (and I use that term very loosely…) to crack the top—20, though the lackluster sequel THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR managed to place 21st. TWILIGHT earned an astonishing $183 Million, good enough for 7th place, no doubt all extracted from swooning “tweens” or their doting parents.

Of course, there were traditional Horror Films released last year. The rapidly declining SAW franchise sallied forth with it’s fifth (and hopefully last…) installment in October, and still managed a respectable 53rd place, with nearly $57 Million in the bank. M. Night Shyamalan proved, finally, that he wasn’t just a one-trick pony with the somber environmental-revenge tale THE HAPPENING. Nowhere near the quality of THE SIXTH SENSE, it nonetheless exceeded my expectations for this director, who has built a career failing to outdo his block-buster debut.
Some things, it’s almost refreshing to see, have resisted the year’s overwhelming mantra of “Change”, most notably Hollywood producers. In other words, the reign of the Remake continues unabated, as Hollywood continues to pump out needless, imagination-free, poorly-executed rip-offs of great movies, good movies, and with last year’s remake of the 1980 Slasher film PROM NIGHT, even crappy movies. The original, notable only for a post-HALLOWEEN appearance by Jamie Leigh Curtis, was a true waste of celluloid. Why anyone should choose to remake it is beyond my understanding.

2008 was also the year we bid farewell to some of the most notable figures in the Genre. In January Malia Nurmi, TV’s Vampira, the first horror-host, passed away, as did Roy Scheider, Chief Brody in JAWS. Ben Chapman, who played the “Out-of-Water” Gill-Man in CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON died in February, and Arthur C. Clarke, the famed Science-Fiction author, followed in March. The heartbreaker though was the death of Forry Ackerman in December, days after his 92nd birthday. Some of the joy left Horror Fandom with him.
Also in January, Heath Ledger, the young star of THE PATRIOT and A KNIGHT’S TALE, died of a drug overdose, shortly after completing filming on THE DARK KNIGHT, the sequel to Christopher Nolan’s BATMAN BEGINS. The death of Ledger, who played the Joker in the Batman epic, fueled a media-driven perfect storm of hype that raged around the film until it’s premiere nearly seven months to the day after Ledger’s death. The result was a spectacular success for the film; one I must admit was wholly deserved.

2008 had, as all years do, it’s ups and downs, high and lows, joys and sorrows. It’s easy to think that they balance out, but in truth they never really do. There are years when the good outweighs the bad, and vice versa. This was a year when the bad unfortunately held sway over the good.

But now it’s 2009, and here I sit, classic movie in the player and single-malt scotch in hand. But before I get too deep into year, movie, or drink, let’s examine some of the good, and bad, that has gone before.


1.) Surprise of the Year:
a. THE INCREDIBLE HULK
b. THE EYE
c. The Success of THE DARK KNIGHT
d. The Crypt’s Nomination for a Rondo Award
e. Svengoolie Losing to Penny Dreadful for Horror-Host of the Year Rondo

It takes a lot to surprise the old Unimonster these days… and at my age, surprises are rarely good things. But when a very good friend e-mailed me last January to inform me that the new Rondo ballots were out, and that the Unimonster’s Crypt had received a nomination in the category Best Website or Blog, I could not have been more pleasantly shocked had a flying monkey dropped a bag of cash on my head. Never had I anticipated such recognition; certainly not after a mere few months of operation. It may be considered a cliché to say it’s an honor just being nominated… believe me, though, when I say it is an honor, a magnificent one, and one I will never forget.

Equally shocking to me, especially after its Ang Lee-directed predecessor, was THE INCREDIBLE HULK. I had no intention of seeing this movie; I was never a fan of the Hulk (I was a DC Comics man, myself…) and based on the first film, felt no desire to subject myself to another wasted two hours. Then an advance copy of the DVD was sent to me to review.
Unable to find a valid excuse to avoid it any longer, I popped it in the player and sat back to endure what I was sure would be a deplorable sequel to an incredibly bad film. Then the surprise happened.

About a third of the way through, I began to realize I was enjoying this movie… and not just a little. It was everything the first had not been: Intelligently written; well-directed; well-acted; and most of all, interesting. I actually cared about what was happening in the film, and about the characters. I wanted to see how it resolved itself. The movie involved me, and more importantly it entertained me… two things the first failed to do entirely.

Another movie that surprised me last year was David Moreau and Xavier Palud’s Americanized remake of the Pang Brothers’ Hong Kong Horror import, JIAN GUI. THE EYE, starring Jessica Alba and Alessandro Nivola, came nowhere near JIAN GUI’s simple, stylish originality and beautiful execution, instead using a massive special effects budget to replace those qualities. Still, enough of the original was left intact to make this a good, if not great, ghost film. Frankly, I was expecting much less from it, and am pleased to say it exceeded those expectations.

One movie that did not surprise me, at least in terms of it’s quality, was THE DARK KNIGHT. Christopher Nolan’s second outing as the designated Batman director promised to outdo his first, and I was eagerly anticipating it as soon as it was announced. However, the storm of hype that accompanied the death of Heath Ledger, who had just completed his work as the Joker on the film, meant that everyone was now anticipating the release of this film. This equated to enormous interest in the movie, interest that carried over as people began spreading the news that it truly was a great movie, not just a morbid opportunity to view a dead celebrity’s final performance.

But what surprised me the most happened when the winners of the Rondo Awards were announced. The one category I was watching the closest, (except perhaps for the one I was nominated in…) was the Horror-Host of the Year, and, as I repeatedly mentioned in this column, I was actively supporting Chicago’s Svengoolie, aka Rich Koz. Rich’s work over the nearly thirty years since he first assumed the mantle of the great Jerry G. Bishop, continuing as first the Son of Svengoolie, then becoming Svengoolie, is simply too important to ignore; I felt certain that the Rondo voters would see fit to grant him the recognition he so well deserved.

Don’t misunderstand me; I like Penny Dreadful—a lot. I’ve reviewed her program twice, and heartily recommend it to anyone who has the opportunity to see it. Any other year, I would have happily cheered her win. But for the first Horror-Host Rondo, I couldn’t help thinking that Svengoolie deserved it just a little more.


2.) Disappointment of the Year:
a. THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR
b. INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
c. CLOVERFIELD
d. The continued failure of the Effort to secure a Star on the Hollywood Walk-of-Fame for Jack Pierce

I was one of the few monster fans, it seems, who didn’t rush to theaters to see CLOVERFIELD when it debuted last January. I didn’t even buy the DVD when it first hit the street. It wasn’t that I was uninterested, or put off by the stories of people getting ill from the shaky camera-work. It’s just that I had one overwhelming image in my mind: That of an evil film editor somehow merging the 1998 Roland Emmerich GODZILLA, bad as it was, with one of the crappiest concepts ever to float down the sewer, THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT.

Finally though, the DVD found it’s way into the 4 for $20 bargain bin at my neighborhood Blockbuster, and I could resist it no longer. I hoped that the movie would manage to better my expectations; alas, it could not.

It wasn’t that it was a bad movie; it simply wasn’t an interesting one. Even with an inordinately short run time (less than 85 minutes…) I found myself waiting for it to creep to its inevitable climax, one which was completely telegraphed by the very design of the production. The idea of a giant monster rampaging through New York is a great one, one that I would love to see done well. Next time though… let us actually see the monster.

Last year marked the return to the screen of one of my favorite franchises, with the release of INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL. I anxiously awaited this new adventure, hoping that it would recapture the same energy, feel, and spirit that made the original trilogy so great.

Now, I don’t wish to give the impression that I didn’t like this movie, or that it wasn’t worth the wait. Frankly I loved it; it is, as you’ll see later, one of my nominees for Movie of the Year. But it would be equally incorrect to say that it was as good as the earlier films. The leads, Harrison Ford and Karen Allen, also reprising her role from RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, are superb and right in character; most of the supporting cast, however, is not. Especially mis-cast is Shia LaBeouf as the unwitting child of Indy and Marion. The plot works well enough, though it seems a little too fantastical, even for an Indiana Jones movie.

The overall impression I was left with, though, was that, while this was an enjoyable film, and a fitting conclusion to the Indiana Jones franchise, it was a franchise that has reached the end. It might be argued that this entry in the series was unnecessary; that seeing our hero as an old man might not be the best way to remember him. All I know is that whatever it was that I hoped to find in this film was somehow lacking, and my enjoyment of it was tinged with a measure of disappointment that even Indiana Jones can grow old.

There was one movie about which I have no ambivalence. As an ardent fan of the Stephen Sommers’ Mummy franchise, I had been eagerly awaiting a third installment. That eagerness vanished as more and more information about the production came out. By the date of the movie’s release in August, any expectations I had for the film had been washed away by the absence of key personnel, both in front of and behind the camera, and a nonsensical relocation of the story to China. I wish I could say that the result, Rob Cohen’s THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR was better than I expected. Instead it failed to meet even the absurdly low bar I had set for it.

Over the past decade, one man has worked tirelessly to bring honor and recognition to someone who stands as a victim of the Hollywood Studio-system of the ‘30’s and ‘40’s. Scott Essman has struggled to inform people of the debt that Modern Horror owes to this man, Jack P. Pierce.
Pierce, head of Universal’s make-up department from 1930 to 1947, created the Monsters as we know them. He was responsible for the look of Frankenstein’s Monster, the Mummy, and the Wolf-Man. When we watch a classic Universal Horror Film from the ‘30’s or ‘40’s, we are seeing Pierce’s work brought to life in the persona of those creatures which so captivate horror fans, and have for 75 years.

And Essman has been working to bring some measure of acknowledgment to Pierce’s memory, in the form of a Star on Hollywood’s Walk-of-Fame. While there are obstacles to this, the largest is financial; the $20,000 or so that this would require, in direct costs. Universal, an entity which has profited off the work of this man for decades both before and after his death, should willingly volunteer the funds to make this happen. Instead, while they’re quite willing to continue marketing the Monsters shamelessly, they’re equally content to continue to show Jack Pierce the same respect and regard their predecessors demonstrated during his lifetime... in other words, none at all.

In 1947, following a long tenure as head of the studio’s make-up department, a job given to him by Carl Laemmle on the basis of a handshake, without a contract, Universal fired Pierce as unceremoniously as taking out the trash. Pierce died in 1968, remembered by few as the man who made the Monsters.

Recently, many in the Horror community have taken up Essman’s cause, campaigning to bring this belated tribute to Pierce. In a small way, the Crypt has been part of this effort, in the form of an on-line petition that gathered thousands of signatures asking that Universal honor their long-past-due debt to Pierce.

Sadly these efforts once more fell on deaf ears at the studio. We won’t give up, but the failure to see justice done in this case is indeed my biggest disappointment.


3.) The “What the Hell was THAT?” Award:
a. FEAST II: SLOPPY SECONDS
b. CLOVERFIELD
c. TWILIGHT
d. THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR
e. THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

Remakes are dicey things at best, because no matter how good the remake may be, it can seldom compare to the original, and there will always be those to whom said original is perfect, untouchable, perhaps nearly sacred. While I hold no such affection for the 1951 film THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, I do respect the film for the quality of Robert Wise’s direction, and the stellar performances from Michael Rennie and Patricia Neal. More respect than is shown to it by the producers, director, and star of the abysmal remake of it.

The original, a classic of the Sci-Fi Genre, dealt with an alien visitor trying to convince Earthlings to adopt pacifism before it was too late. To prove his power, he stopped Earth… for one hour nothing mechanical or electrical functioned anywhere on Earth. While simplistic and preachy, it was an effective, well-scripted film, and helped establish many of the conventions that Genre films would follow for the next decade. The remake casts the ever-annoying Keanu Reeves in the Michael Rennie role, and instead of preaching pacifism, he’s the answer to the fervent prayers of radical environmentalists everywhere, as he begins destroying everything that is the product of Man, in order to once more make the Earth a pristine paradise. The script lacks both the intelligence and sensitivity of the original, trying to make up for it with huge Special Effects sequences and supposed star-power. And it worked… to a point. Anyone impressed with Keanu Reeves isn’t likely to miss the intelligent screen-writing anyway.

Sequels too are veritable minefields for filmmakers, for many of the same reasons. Rarely do sequels provide the same enjoyment that their parent films’ do; often, they aren’t even in the same area code as their predecessors. The first sequel to Stephen Sommers’ 1999 block-buster THE MUMMY, 2001’s THE MUMMY RETURNS, was that rarest of creatures, a sequel that actually bettered the first. For years, fans of the series eagerly awaited a third film; eagerness that was tempered to a large degree when news began to filter out that a second sequel was actually in the works. First came a statement from Rachel Weisz that she would not be involved in a third film; then the announcement that Sommers would not be helming the production. By the time it was announced that the movie would be set in China instead of returning to familiar Egyptian surroundings, even we die-hard fans had given up hope for the film. And, as I said before, we were proven correct.

Another sequel, one that instead lived up to the standard set by it’s predecessor, was FEAST II: SLOPPY SECONDS. I’m not quite sure if it was a Horror Film that wanted to be a Comedy, or a Comedy that aspired to Horror. I can tell you that it’s gross, disgusting, offensive, perverted… and one helluva great, fun ride. It’s definitely not for everyone; even most horror fans might find it way over-the-top. But I loved it. As much as it frightens me to say, Jon Gulager might be around for awhile.

As noted earlier, CLOVERFIELD was one of the true disappointments of the year; not because of what it was, but what it could have been. I don’t mind a few unanswered questions, but to watch an entire movie and not have a clue about what transpired therein is simply poor filmmaking. Cinema verite is fine for documentarians; for a scripted, feature-length film it’s more commonly referred to as a lack of imagination.

But the one movie that had me scratching my head the most last year was the Vampiric paean to teen angst and adolescent female hormones, TWILIGHT. I’m sure, in some brightly lit corridor of power in far-off Hollywood, a movie about teen vampires who don’t drink blood might make sense. In terms of Box-Office dollars it certainly did, earning close to $183 Million. In terms of Horror, however, it truly sucked… but not in the way it should.


4.) First Annual Induction to the Crypt of the Unimonster’s Catacomb of Distinction (Charter Members):
a. Boris Karloff
b. Bela Lugosi
c. James Whale
d. Lon Chaney
e. Edgar Allan Poe
f. Peter Cushing
g. Jack P. Pierce
h. Terence Fisher
i. Fay Wray
j. Lon Chaney, Jr.
k. Forrest J Ackerman
l. Vincent Price
m. Peter Lorre
n. Evelyn Ankers
o. H. P. Lovecraft

As part of the renovations recently undertaken (no pun intended…) on the Crypt, I discovered a long-forgotten Catacomb buried underneath my movie vault. After some thought, I decided that this would be a superb place to honor those notables of the genre who have ‘moved on’, so to speak.

These inductions are listed in no particular order, nor are these all who are deserving of this recognition. This is simply the initial class of inductees; more will join in future years, I assure you. The Catacomb of Distinction has a lot of room, and it will take more years than I have remaining to fill it up.


5.) Comeback of the Year:
a. Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones, in INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

It had been 19 years since Harrison Ford had last donned the battered fedora and leather jacket of Indiana Jones, and I for one was unsure about his decision to return to the franchise. While I had no desire to see anyone else in the role, I wasn’t quite ready to see the Geritol® version of one of my favorite Cinema heroes. As it turned out, though he was no longer the same man he had been in the ‘80’s, he still had one good adventure left in him.

The movie wasn’t perfect, and the rest of the cast, with the exception of Karen Allen, pretty much missed the mark, but as far as Indiana Jones was concerned, Ford was dead on target.


6.) Comeback we’d Most Like to See:
a. Godzilla in a new Toho production
b. THE BLACK CAT, in a 75th Anniversary Legacy Edition from Universal Studios Home Entertainment
c. Original Horror Films instead of countless remakes and sequels
d. Stephen Sommers and Rachel Weisz to the MUMMY franchise

Do you remember the days when a screenwriter would sit down in front of a beat-up old Royal typewriter, with nothing more than a ream of blank paper and his or her imagination, and create a movie? Well, apparently neither does Hollywood, as original films have become as rare as registered Republicans in Chicago. Remakes rule the roost, and if they aren’t remaking one film it’s because they’re too busy filming a mindless sequel to another. Contrary to popular belief, talent is not the commodity in shortest supply in Hollywood; imagination and originality both are far scarcer.

One sequel that was amply demonstrative of this fact was THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR. Though Rob Cohen and team did try to inject a little originality into the series by relocating it to China, the injection was way off-target. Still a competent script, capable direction, and a female lead with a little personality might have rescued this film. Unfortunately, the man and woman responsible for those qualities in the first two films were absent from this one.

Stephen Sommers wrote and directed both 1999’s THE MUMMY, and 2001’s THE MUMMY’S RETURN, and did an excellent job crafting characters and storylines that were involving, intelligent, and witty; infusing them with a superb sense of humor. As director, he guided the production flawlessly, while exhibiting the ability not to take the material too seriously. Cohen lacks either the ability to do so or the sensibility to do so; either way, it’s obvious that he certainly was the wrong choice to replace Sommers.

Nearly as bad, and far more noticeable, was the decision of Rachel Weisz to opt out of the third installment of the franchise. Weisz shared with co-star Brendan Fraser an almost perfect chemistry; as well as having a charm and attractiveness that sets her apart from most actresses. These are traits that Maria Bello, the new Evelyn O’Connell, sorely lacks. She and Fraser have zero on-screen chemistry, and, with this Unimonster at least, zero likability. I’m not certain if $102 Million at the Box-Office is sufficient to guarantee yet another MUMMY film, but if the producers want it to earn more than that, it’s time for both Sommers and Weisz to return to the fold… oh yeah, and set the next one in some locale where they actually have mummies! Terra cotta warriors need not apply.

2009 marks the 75th anniversary of my favorite Universal Horror Film; indeed, my favorite Classic Horror Film—THE BLACK CAT. Edgar Ulmer’s masterpiece was the first, and the best, of Karloff and Lugosi’s screen pairings, and a delightfully decadent ‘thumb to the nose’ aimed at the Hays Office. Not even the censors understood what it was they were letting slip through… the director skillfully used nuance and innuendo to convey volumes of unspoken content to the viewer. One iconic, and especially effective, scene involves Karloff, in pajamas and robe and carrying the eponymous black cat, going from glass case to glass case, inspecting a variety of preserved female bodies enclosed within. As he pauses before the last case, a strange look crosses his face. He then puts the cat out and closes the door. The implication is as subtle as it is perverse, and reveals everything you need to know about Karloff’s character.

Though it has received a recent DVD release, on Universal’s Bela Lugosi Collection, I would love to see the studio celebrate it’s anniversary in the manner that it has the anniversaries of it’s other Horror classics, and in a more timely fashion than it did THE MUMMY’s 75th.

But I must confess that the Comeback I’d most like to see happen is the Big G himself, Godzilla. It has been five years since Toho ended the Millennium Era with GOJIRA: FAINARU UÔZU ~aka~ GODZILLA: FINAL WARS. That movie was a fitting end to that era’s story arc, and I had no problem with Toho declaring an end of that era. But certainly, I wasn’t ready to bid farewell to the giant monsters entirely… no way I could go off the Kaijû cold turkey!

They’ve had time to let the franchise rest, and now fans are ready to hear the big guy’s distinctive roar echo once more over Tokyo Bay. If the success of CLOVERFIELD proved anything, it’s that: 1.) Audiences are still hungry for giant, city-stomping monsters, and 2.) Nobody does it like Toho. Please gentlemen, please do it again.


7.) Heartbreak of the Year:
a. The Passing of Forry Ackerman

Last December the Father of Horror Fandom, Forrest J Ackerman, died at the age of 92. If you’re a MonsterKid of the ‘50’s, ‘60’s and ‘70’s, then Forry was your Uncle, your mentor, your inspiration, and your friend.

Through his Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine, he shared his love of the genre with thousands of young boys and girls, talking to us, not at us; communicating at our level, not condescending to it—and we loved him for that. Forry’s passing leaves a void that will not be filled in Genre Fandom; he was, in many ways, the last living link to the Golden Age of Horror Films. He had seen LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT, the Holy Grail of ‘Lost Films’; he knew Boris and Bela, Lon and Peter; the man even owned a cape worn by Lugosi, and the Brontosaurus from KING KONG.

What made Forry special weren’t these mere facts, it was that he shared them with us. He invited us all to share in his love of the Fantastic; in the pages of his magazine, in the stories that he would tell, and in the way he would open the doors of his home to anyone willing to listen to an old man talk about his treasures.

There will never be another Forry, nor any like him. And the world is much poorer for that.


8.) DVD Release of the Year:
a. THE MIST 2-Disc Collector’s Edition
b. RODAN / WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS Double Pack
c. PIECES 2-Disc Collector’s Edition
d. THE MUMMY: Universal Legacy Series Special Edition
e. SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET 2-Disc Special Edition

One way to tell that 2007 was a decent year for Horror, was by observing the number of good DVD’s that started hitting stores in early 2008. Two of the 2007 films that received excellent treatment for the home market this past year were THE MIST and SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET.

THE MIST, based on a short story by Stephen King and directed by Frank Darabont, was one of the better movies of 2007, narrowly missing last year’s MOTY list. Universal Studios Home Entertainment, as always, did a superb job packaging this one for Home audiences, with a bonus disc full of special features, including something unique: A second, complete version of the film in black & white, as the director envisioned it. It does add measurably to the stark atmosphere of the film, and provides an interesting comparison with the theatrical version.

As to the film itself, it stands out as one of the best adaptations of King’s work since THE GREEN MILE, and Darabont’s best film, ever. The ending is difficult and disturbing, and not everyone will approve of it; and the underlying message of the film is pessimistic and, in my opinion, biased.

Personally speaking, I think it’s the only way the film could end, and not betray what has come before. Also, while I don’t agree with the message the film offers, and I feel that the film’s antagonist would have been more effective, and more believable, if she had been less of a caricature; there’s little doubt it was a tremendously well-done, frightening film.

Some of the undiscovered treasures of the genre are several Horror Films produced in England during the 1930’s featuring the aptly-named Tod Slaughter. Slaughter, who made a career out of playing villains in Victorian-style melodramas, starred in 1936’s SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET, a film based on a legendary, probably apocryphal, London murderer of that name.

When I first heard that Tim Burton was helming a project entitled SWEENEY TODD, and starring Johnny Depp, I naturally assumed that he was remaking the old Slaughter film. An odd choice, perhaps, but then Burton’s made a career out of odd choices. The casting of Johnny Depp as the Demon barber only heightened my interest, as I’ve become much more appreciative of his abilities as an actor in the last few years. Still, I must admit that it wasn’t very high on my radar for the year or so that it in production.

And then I saw the first trailer for the film. Whatever I may have expected from the usually brilliant collaboration of Burton and Depp, it certainly wasn’t what I got. I was shocked to see Depp bursting into song, in the ‘Epiphany’ production number from the film. Not having the least interest in musical theater, I had no idea that there was a long-running Broadway musical based on the story of Sweeney Todd, or that this was the source of Burton’s inspiration. I promptly put my interest in the project on the back burner—two hours of a singing, dancing, throat-slashing barber just wasn’t my idea of a good time. I thought little more of it until I picked up the DVD and decided to give it a try. While I’m no more a fan of musicals than I was before, I must admit that I was amazed by both the quality of the production and by the performance of the entire cast, especially Depp, Helena Bonham Carter as his murderous paramour, and Alan Rickman as the Judge responsible for the barber’s insane rage.

The DVD itself, from Dreamworks Home Entertainment, is one of the most beautifully packaged and produced sets to hit the shelves last year, and contains a wealth of features. Taken in concert with the superb movie contained therein, and it’s easily a contender for DVD Release of the Year.

Nor were classic films ignored last year. Classic Media continues to unearth treasures from Toho’s vaults, with the release of the double feature set containing two of the best Kaijû films ever made: SORA NO DAIKAIJÛ RADON ~aka~ RADON THE MONSTER OF THE SKY; RODAN (1956), and FURANKENSHUTAIN NO KAIJÛ: SANDA TAI GAIRA ~aka~ FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTERS: SANDA vs. GAIRA; WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS (1966). Rodan has always been my favorite Kaijû, and WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS is a fondly remembered pleasure from childhood, recently rediscovered. As is the norm from Classic Media, you get both the original Japanese version of both films, as well as the edited and dubbed American releases. Anyone who loves the good, old-fashioned fun of the Rompin’, Stompin’, Rubber-suited Monsters of Japan owes it to themselves to check out this company’s line of classic Toho films.

One of the films made to cash in on the Grindhouse/Slasher craze in the ‘70’s and early ‘80’s was Juan Piquer Simon’s PIECES ~aka~ ONE THOUSAND CRIES HAS THE NIGHT. Reminiscent of a cheaply-done Italian Giallo, both in style as well as substance, it’s ultra-violent, ultra-sleazy, and ultra-fun; it’s always been a particular favorite of mine. Now thanks to Grindhouse Releasing, it’s out in a two-disc Collector’s set. The film has been beautifully restored, using the best available 35mm print for the transfer, and numerous bonus features have been added to the mix. One of these features is an interview with director Simon, aided by fellow Spanish filmmaker Nacho Cerda.

This is the type of movie that small distributors such as Grindhouse excel in finding and bringing to the horror-loving public. It might not be the year’s best-selling DVD, but it’s one that I’ve waited a long while to have, and it pleases me that the low-budget movies of the ‘80’s are getting a little attention from distributors.

There are many films that are important to the development of Horror as a genre, but there is only a handful that must justly be considered landmarks along the path of that development. One such landmark is Karl Freund’s 1932 classic THE MUMMY. 2007 marked the 75th anniversary of the film’s release, and I roundly castigated Universal for it’s failure to properly acknowledge and celebrate this occasion. I might have known that they were ‘delaying’ the festivities until they could serve as a product placement tie-in for the summer, 2008 release of THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR.

However, no matter… for whatever the reason, they finally did right by my favorite monster, and the delay doesn’t affect one’s ability to revel in one of Karloff’s finest performances, as well as an example of make-up artist Jack Pierce’s best creations. Both as the mummy of Im-Ho-Tep, and later as the rejuvenated, corpse-like Ardeth Bey, Pierce’s make-up serves to provide the perfect medium for Karloff’s acting to shine through.

So impressive was Pierce’s work in this film that Universal finally saw fit to include a tribute of some kind to the man responsible for creating the great Universal Monsters, with a documentary included in the DVD. JACK PIERCE: THE MAN WHO BROUGHT THE MONSTERS TO LIFE was produced by Scott Essman, the foremost expert on Pierce. Essman has devoted himself to insuring that Pierce gets the recognition he deserves for the importance of his contribution to film history, and this documentary is a major step towards that recognition. Much still remains to be done in this regard, but at least Universal is moving in the right direction.

Another area in which Universal needs to correct a long-standing deficit is the condition of the prints that they have used for the various DVD transfers over the past several years, THE MUMMY included. Though no one can expect perfection in 75-year-old film, more needs to be done than simply running the movie through a digital processor; a thorough, hands-on, physical restoration is badly needed on all the great Monster movies in Universal’s library. Obviously, Universal feels that, as long as the fans will continue to purchase the unrestored films nothing more need be done; this reviewer respectfully disagrees.

Still, this is a beautifully-done presentation of this great film, and even if late is a gratefully received tribute to this classic. It, along with it’s stablemates DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN, belongs in every collection, and I’m happy to name it the DVD Release of the Year.


9.) DVD Box Set of the Year:
a. Cinema Classics Collection: Charlie Chan, Vol. 4
b. The HALLOWEEN 30th Anniversary Commemorative Set

As most of the true goodies have already been dug out of the major studio’s vaults, really good candidates for release in multi-film box sets are beginning to thin out. Most of this year’s gems have come in the form of films already available that have been redressed and repackaged, hopefully providing a much better product in the process.

Anchor Bay has long been a friend to lovers of classic Horror Films, and last year they saw fit to honor one of the greatest genre movies of the last half of the 20th Century, with the HALLOWEEN 30th Anniversary Commemorative Set. This individually-numbered, limited-edition box set includes three separate versions of the original HALLOWEEN: A restored version; an extended version; and the Blu-Ray release of the film. Also included is HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS, HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS, and HALLOWEEN: 25 YEARS OF TERROR. All are packaged in a window-box display case designed to show off the real treat of the set, a full-size latex replica of Michael’s iconic mask. At a suggested retail of $90, it’s too pricey for the Crypt’s budget; and it would be nice to see a definitive box set that included all of the films, including HALLOWEEN II and HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH. Still, this is a great collection, and it’s definitely on my list of ‘Needful Things’.

But in terms of sheer desirability to the Unimonster, no set last year came close to the Charlie Chan Box Set, Volume Four, from 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment. Featuring four classic Charlie Chan mysteries starring Sidney Toler, these are films I grew up watching, and loving, on Saturday afternoons. Long absent from the airwaves over concerns about ethnic stereotyping, Fox has been releasing these movies at a slow but steady pace over the past few years, finally answering the clamor of fans of this great series. The four films that make up this volume might not be the inscrutable inspector’s best, but they are certainly appreciated. They are: CHARLIE CHAN IN HONOLULU; CHARLIE CHAN IN RENO; CHARLIE CHAN AT TREASURE ISLAND; and CHARLIE CHAN IN CITY IN DARKNESS.

Speaking as a dedicated Chanophile, it pleases me no end that these fine films are once more available to be seen. I applaud Fox’s efforts to open their vaults to a public hungry for quality entertainment, and their recognition that, to quote an earlier column of mine, “It’s important that we remember these films, that we not allow these types of movies to become lost to us. When you cut people off from the historical records of the mistakes that they or their ancestors made, you also remove the instructive value of those mistakes. Aphorisms come into being for a reason, and one of the best is “Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.” If we are allowed to forget just how ugly prejudice can be, how can we remember to work against it?”
For that reason, as much as the inherent attraction of the set itself, Charlie Chan Vol. 4 is my choice as DVD Box Set of the Year.


10.) TV Series of the Year:
a. LIFE ON MARS
b. MEDIUM
c. GHOST HUNTERS
d. MONSTERQUEST

Though Horror isn’t the hot television commodity it was even a few years ago, there are still vestiges to be found, especially on Cable networks hungry for programming choices. One of the most unlikely sources of Horror-themed programming has always been the History Channel. With series such as Haunted History and History’s Mysteries, and specials such as the Haunted History of Halloween, THC has long been a refuge for those seeking a little blood-curdling infotainment. This welcome tradition is continuing with the series MonsterQuest.

Each episode investigates a particular monster of legend, such as Bigfoot, Champ, or the Jersey Devil. Each is subjected to a thorough historical analysis, scientific investigation, and recreations of reported encounters. All that’s lacking is Leonard Nimoy’s narration, and it would be perfect!
For a few years now, the SciFi Channel has had one of the best genre related programs extant with Ghost Hunters. Following a group of amateur ghost hunters on their investigations might not sound very interesting, and admittedly at first, the amount of time spent focusing on the drama away from the actual haunting was a detriment, but later seasons put the focus squarely on the investigations. Also, as the group’s fame and reputation has grown, so has the scope of their investigatory interest. At first limiting themselves to local, New England sites, recently they’ve expanded their travels to the rest of the U.S. and even overseas. The result is a much more satisfying show.

Since it’s debut, NBC’s Medium has been one of the most original, entertaining programs on network TV, bar none. Blessed with a superb cast, led by Patricia Arquette, Jake Weber, and David Cubitt, each episode is a well-crafted look at the life of a woman who, quite literally, speaks with the dead… and they with her.

The charm of the show is that the problems of dealing with three young daughters are treated with equal importance as the problems of dealing with the souls of the restless. The day-to-day existence of Allison Dubois, Arquette’s character, doesn’t stop just because she’s made privy to the tortured last moments of the murder victims she seeks to help. Allison and her husband Joe (Weber) are real people, people who worry about money, worry about their kids, about work, about check-ups, and tune-ups, and the thousand little things that families do. The reality of the program balances the supernatural aspects of it perfectly, making it one of the best genre shows ever produced.

But my choice for TV Series of the Year, one of my favorite shows on network TV right now, and the best new show anywhere, is ABC’s Life on Mars. Part police drama, part time-traveling Sci-Fi, part existential nightmare, the show focuses on Sam Tyler, played by Jason O’Mara. Tyler, a NYPD detective, is struck by a hit-and-run driver on a New York City street… in 2008. He awakens 35 years before, in 1973. His clothes are changed, his car is changed, his hairstyle has changed… even his badge and department ID has changed. Only he’s the same person, with the same memories, and the knowledge that he’s out of place… virtually on another world.

A large part of the attraction of the show lies in Sam’s pursuit of the answer to the mystery of what has happened to him, and in his efforts to both fit in and find some measure of happiness in his new world. Nothing is easy for him… from finding his way around a city that is so similar and yet so different; to conducting investigations without the scientific and forensic tools that are so much a part of the modern police arsenal. Nor are his colleagues easily relatable; theirs is a different era of policing, with different standards of what constitutes acceptable behavior. He is actively encouraged to beat confessions out of suspects when he knows they’re guilty; plant evidence if that’s the only way to get a conviction; and to turn his head if a fellow cop is a little wrong on a bust. His precinct, the “1-2-5”, has no black or female detectives, and the precinct’s only policewoman has been nicknamed “No-Nuts” by the male officers.

Each case, each encounter, has the potential to add another piece to the puzzle of Sam’s existence… and which is his reality, the one wherein he’s living now, or the one in which he believes he belongs? Has he time-shifted? Is this simply a hallucination brought on by the hit-and-run? Could he be part of some alien experiment? Might he even be dead, and trapped in what is his own personal Hell? Each week, backed up by a fine ensemble cast including Harvey Keitel, Michael Imperioli, and Gretchen Mol, he searches for the answer—and for a way to belong.

I hope he finds both… and I hope it takes a good long while.


11.) Performance of the Year:
a. Daniel Craig as James Bond—(007), in QUANTUM OF SOLACE
b. Michael Caine as Alfred Pennyworth, in THE DARK KNIGHT
c. Heath Ledger as the Joker, in THE DARK KNIGHT
d. Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark, aka the Iron Man, in THE IRON MAN
e. Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones, in INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

I don’t often find myself noticing an actor doing his job of portraying a character, and to my mind, that’s not a bad thing. Usually, if I’m taking note of how an actor is performing, that means he’s not doing it very well. The mark of a great actor, at least in my book, is that he becomes the character, as Johnny Depp with Captain Jack Sparrow. Captain Jack bears little resemblance to either Sweeney Todd or Ichabod Crane; though all are Depp, his ability to submerge himself in a role makes each a distinct, and distinctive, characterization. There were several such performances this past year, and I thought I’d take some time to recognize the ones that left a lasting impression on me.

For fans of 007, there’s usually one Bond that stands out as THE Bond. It usually is the one you remember from your first experience with Ian Fleming’s secret agent, the one you’ve known from childhood, and that’s no different for the Unimonster. I liked Moore, even if the plots were a little outlandish; thought Brosnan made perhaps the second best Bond; disliked Dalton, though I must admit he was saddled with abysmal scripts for both his efforts. Even Lazenby was enjoyable in his single outing. But for me, only one actor truly was James Bond, and his name was Connery… Sean Connery.

When Daniel Craig replaced Pierce Brosnan as film’s greatest spy, I was, to say the least, disappointed. As I stated, Brosnan was my second favorite Bond, and his four films had been some of the best in the long run of the series. Craig didn’t look like James Bond, and didn’t act like James Bond, and when I saw CASINO ROYALE for the first time, that disappointment flowered into dislike. Not only was Craig completely unlike any prior Bond, the character was completely off. This was not the suave, sophisticated master spy… Craig’s Bond was little better than a hired gun. A thug with a License to Kill.

But with QUANTUM OF SOLACE, essentially part II of CASINO ROYALE, we begin to see the growth of the character, and of Craig’s ability to portray him. We can now see that perhaps the Bond we’re used to isn’t the Bond that always was, and I can hope for far better things in the future. Craig will never supplant Connery in my opinion… but he’s coming close to edging out Moore.

Another icon of film is the world’s greatest adventuring archaeologist, Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. In this case, however, there is no confusion: Harrison Ford is Indiana Jones, as well-demonstrated by last year’s return to the role he created in 1981, and last essayed 20 years ago. He returned to the role as easily as a man returns home after a long trip, and looked just as comfortable in it. INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL might have had flaws… but his performance certainly wasn’t one of them.

Robert Downey, Jr. might not be my first choice to play a super-hero… any super-hero. But the casting of him as Tony Stark, an arms dealer-turned-metal encased super-hero named Iron Man, was brilliant. Anyone could have played a super-hero whose face is a metal mask; it’s as Stark that Downey’s able to flex his acting muscles and dominate the screen.

Michael Caine has been high on my list of actors ever since the 1980’s, when he appeared in two of my favorite comedies, BLAME IT ON RIO and DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS. As Alfred Pennyworth, the gentleman’s gentleman to billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, (as well as assistant to Wayne’s alter-ego Batman…) Caine brings a depth and dimension to the role that not even Michael Gough’s excellent performances in the ‘80’s and ‘90’s managed. He makes Alfred more than a mere servant; he is, for all intents and purposes, the only family that Bruce has left… his only connection to his past. He is very much a surrogate father: He loves Bruce; he guides him; and, when necessary, he chastises him. He serves as a grounding rod for Bruce Wayne, and Batman. He keeps what is at best a schizophrenic conflict between the two halves of Bruce’s personality under control and functional. And his performance was one of the most enjoyable aspects of THE DARK KNIGHT.

It is very fashionable, in the wake of his tragic death one year ago, to proclaim Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker as Oscar©-worthy, using any number of superlatives to describe it. While I will not deny it is extremely powerful, and is indeed my choice as Performance of the Year, I feel too much has been made of it. Yes, he does an excellent job of acting… but seriously, had he not died, would he be nominated for an Academy award? If his life had not ended, would critics be hailing it as the ‘performance of a lifetime…’? Have we not seen equally impressive performances go unnoticed simply because the actor survived the production? I don’t wish to take anything away from him, but in this case, as in most, Hollywood seriously needs to gain some perspective.

But my carping has far more to do with the manner in which Hollywood chooses who to honor than it does with the excellence of Ledger’s performance. Is it the best I’ve ever seen? No… I’m not even certain it’s Ledger’s best performance. But for a genre film last year, it was good enough to be the best.


12.) Genre News Event of the Year:
a. The Death of Ben Chapman (The Gill-Man)
b. The Death of Malia Nurmi (Vampira)
c. The Passing of Forry Ackerman
d. THE DARK KNIGHT

Any year is going to see the deaths of many celebrities and, when you narrow the focus to a few discrete genres of fiction, then chances are good that the top news stories are likely to involve the death of someone important to those genres. Such was the case in 2008, as we bid farewell to many of the stars of Sci-Fi and Horror.

It began on the 10th of January, when Malia Nurmi, who thrilled and chilled Southern California audiences in the mid-50’s as the first TV Horror-Host, died at the age of 85. Nurmi, whose sexy siren Vampira became a horror icon, premiered on Los Angeles TV station KABC on April 30th, 1954 with a preview special, and soon regular episodes of The Vampira Show were running on a weekly basis. Though her program was popular, it lasted only a short time, being cancelled in 1955.

Those two seasons were pivotal, and she left a lasting impression on both fans and fellow performers. It launched the tradition of Hosted Horror Movies which would explode following the release of Universal’s classic Horror Films to television stations in the “Shock Theater” package in 1957. Zacherley, Ghoulardi, the original Svengoolie… all owed their existence to Malia Nurmi. She remained an inspiration to many fans, in part giving rise to what evolved into the “Goth” culture of today, and her death marks the passing of an era.

Little more than a month later, on February 21st, the self-described “Real Gill-Man”, Ben Chapman, passed away in a Honolulu Military Hospital at the age of 79. Chapman, a 6-foot, 5-inch former Marine, portrayed the Gill-Man in the above-water sequences in the 1954 Universal classic CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. The role made him a horror icon, but it was his affability and approachability that made him a huge draw on the convention circuit, and endeared him to his fans. For several years he has been a fixture at Horror and Sci-Fi gatherings, one of the few remaining connections to the “Silver Age” of genre films. It is sometimes difficult to remember, as we watch this great film for the umpteenth time, a clear, pristine image from shiny new disc, that it has been nearly 55 years since the Gill-Man first prowled the shores of the Black Lagoon, and stalked a lovely young woman in a luminous white bathing suit. The death of Chapman serves as a stark reminder of that fact.

As far as the world of Horror Fandom was concerned, though, no death struck harder, or hurt more than the death in December of Dr. Acula himself; the man who turned a childhood love of the Fantastic into a life-long calling; a man who had no children of his own but was Uncle to thousands; Forrest J Ackerman.

I’ve already discussed Forry’s death at length here, and repetition serves little purpose other than to refresh the sense of loss. Those who are fortunate enough to have memories of Forry in his heyday will never forget him; those who don’t will never know what they missed.

But the biggest story in Genre news this past year had to be the block-buster success of the Christopher Nolan-helmed Batman picture THE DARK KNIGHT. Earning an astounding $531 Million dollars, nearly twice as much as it’s nearest competition IRON MAN, the film dominated the Summer Box-Office just as the news of star Heath Ledger’s death dominated the news six months before. Though the film received an incredible amount of pre-release hype, this was a case of a movie that had the ‘stones’ to live up to the hype. Nolan, Bale, Ledger, and Eckhart, et al, promised a great movie, and the product that was delivered exceeded everyone’s expectations. That kept audiences flocking to the theaters, and made THE DARK KNIGHT the year’s biggest news event.


13.) What I’m Looking Forward to the Most for 2009:
a. THE WOLF-MAN remake
b. The new STAR TREK from J. J. Abrams
c. HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE
d. The Fiftieth Anniversary of Hammer’s THE MUMMY, and the Thirtieth Anniversary of ALIEN

The great Universal Monsters have been enjoying a renaissance of late, ever since Sommers’ reinvention of THE MUMMY launched a flurry of interest in the classic creatures of Horror in the late ‘90’s. Since then we have been treated to new versions of Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, and the Werewolf; Universal Studios Home Entertainment has thrown open it’s vaults, releasing all our beloved monsters in multiple DVD sets; and now we await the release of the remake of THE WOLF-MAN, one of the best of the classic Universal Horror Films.

Yes, I have spent nearly this entire column raging against the remaking of movies in principle, and my feelings on the subject haven’t changed simply because they’re Universal properties. When I first heard about this remake I was disappointed and unhappy; THE WOLF-MAN simply did not need remaking, it was perfectly executed in its original form. And I still believe that. But seeing that Universal failed to ask my opinion on the subject, I must admit I’m growing anxious to see the finished project, if only to be proven right.

Another franchise dear to the Unimonster’s heart is Star Trek, and I eagerly await a new mission for the Starship Enterprise. I can’t say that I agree with the decision to revisit the old crew, (I mean, c’mon… Simon Pegg as Scotty??) and Abrams’ past work doesn’t serve to fill me with confidence, but as soon as I saw the first trailer for the film that old urge to “…boldly go where no man has gone before” began to build. I’ve yet to miss seeing a Star Trek film on its opening day, and have no intention of starting now.

Two films of note will be celebrating important Anniversaries this year, Hammer’s spectacular version of THE MUMMY, and the movie that made Outer Space scary again, ALIEN. THE MUMMY was, in this Unimonster’s opinion, the high-water mark of Hammer Films… every facet of the production was the best Hammer could put forth. Directed by Terence Fisher, starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing, written by Jimmy Sangster, with make-up by Roy Ashton… each was a master craftsman, and each was at his peak performance.

A mere twenty years later, not too terribly far from the Berkshire home of Hammer’s Bray Studios, a new era in Science-Fiction Horror began with the production of Ridley Scott’s ALIEN. Written by Dan O’Bannon, (who would later write and direct the superb RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD…) the story of a group of spacefarers who find themselves captive with a deadly alien life-form is one of the best Genre films of the ‘70’s, and inspired hundreds of copycats and rip-offs, as well as numerous sequels and two crossovers. Based on 1958’s IT! THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE, ALIEN is a claustrophobic, intensely compelling movie, one that leaves an indelible impression on viewers, even thirty years later.

But by a narrow margin, I must say that I’m anticipating the latest entry in the Harry Potter saga the most. While I’ve been a fan of the series since the first film, (frankly, I’ve never read any of the books…) with the last two films I’ve truly begun to appreciate the wisdom of having the storylines, as well as the characters, age with time. These are no longer the same children’s tales the first two films were; fitting, as the characters themselves are no longer children. They are now, for all intents and purposes, adults in their world, and are being forced to confront adult issues and problems… not the least of which is an evil being that wants them dead. Not exactly Winnie-the-Pooh or Where the Wild Things Are, is it?


14.) Crapfest of the Year:
a. TWILIGHT
b. THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL
c. SAW V
d. ONE MISSED CALL
e. THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON

Any movie that is both a remake of a classic, and a vehicle for Keanu Reeves, is almost doomed from the start to find its way onto this list, and THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL certainly meets the criteria. I’ve already discussed in detail just what was so wrong about this movie; in placing it in nomination for Crapfest of the Year, I have but two words to add: Keanu Reeves.

I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I generally object to the practice of remaking foreign films to cater to American audiences. Perhaps this is due to the producers’ desire to use familiar Hollywood actors to attract a larger audience; perhaps it is based on a mistaken belief that Americans won’t go to see a dubbed or subtitled movie. Japanese movies in particular have fallen victim to this practice, with remakes of RINGU; JU-ON; KAÏRO; and now, the thriller CHAKUSHIN ARI receives the Americanization treatment as ONE MISSED CALL. I’ve long been a proponent of J-Horror, finding it far more original and innovative than anything coming from Hollywood. The desire of the film industry here to simply remake these movies is a perfect illustration of that point; why bother to come up with an original concept when you can pilfer someone else’s? In this case, however, they aren’t even remaking good J-Horror, rather a below-average Japanese import. It’s as though a Japanese producer decided to remake FRIDAY THE 13th, Part VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN.

And of course there was another attempt last year to produce an artistic, high-brow Science-Fiction/Fantasy picture. Every few years we have to endure some big-name Hollywood Director and/or Star deciding that good, old-fashioned, alien invasions and space battles are just too much fun, that what the Sci-Fi genre is lacking is three hours of boredom with a depressing message attached. Last year’s effort is THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON. Starring Brad Pitt, and directed by David Fincher, this story of a man who was born elderly, only to grow younger as time passes is a plodding tribute to illogic. As an elderly “child”, Button finds himself attracted to an acquaintance; chronologically of similar age, but physically normal as opposed to his aged appearance.

As you might expect, they fade in and out of each others worlds as their apparent ages move closer to each other. I’ll spare you the rest; you can see where things are heading. While this wasn’t the worst example of similar concepts I’ve seen, (actually, the Animated Star Trek episode The Counter-Clock Incident was far more interesting…) it was bad enough. Despite what the critics might think, this movie certainly earned its place on this list.

For the fifth year in a row there was a new installment of the SAW franchise in the theaters at Halloween, and for at least three of those years the franchise has been on a steep downhill slide. The first movie was an original, disturbing, innovative Horror Film. Even the second film was a logical continuation of the first. With the latest entry however, the series is little more than a mockery of its former glory. No longer are these movies original, innovative, or even, quite frankly, disturbing. They are simply tired and repetitious. Something else I sincerely hope they are is over.

But by a healthy margin, (amazing considering the level of competition this time out…) TWILIGHT is the hands-down winner of the title of Crapfest of the Year for 2008. The novel on which the film was based, by Stephanie Meyer, was a runaway best-seller among pre-teen and early teen girls, and that was enough to convince producers that it would make a great movie. Essentially a Harlequin Romance with teen vampires, this film reeked… if you were anyone other than a 13-year old girl. Vampires who don’t drink blood; look pale and anemic; travel about in the daytime; are conflicted emotionally; and pursue ‘romances’ with high school girls… seems to me we used to call such creatures high school boys. Whatever you want to call them, you can call TWILIGHT a total Crapfest.


15.) Movie of the Year:
a. THE DARK KNIGHT
b. INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
c. HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY
d. THE EYE
e. QUARANTINE

It’s tempting to give the nod to one of the Horror Films that made the cut, as this is, at it’s core, a site devoted to Horror Films. But to be honest, the two films that qualify do so almost by default; they are simply the cream of a very meager crop. THE EYE is surprisingly good; still, it pales dramatically when compared to the Pang Brothers excellent 2002 film JIAN GUI, the Hong Kong import upon which the remake is based. Not even the ever-lovely Jessica Alba can save this movie from the omnipresent Special Effects with which the film is laden down.

QUARANTINE is, without a doubt, a real down and dirty Horror Film, in the style of THE DESCENT or DOG SOLDIERS. It does stand out as a bright spot in a year that was remarkably devoid of such movies. Unfortunately, it can hardly be described as original or groundbreaking, and in a normal year for Horror would fail to make this list.

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY does deserve consideration, for a number of reasons. The film does live up to the first in terms of visual appeal; Guillermo Del Toro’s a master of imagery, of color, light, and shadow. The script, though not as involving as the first, is still better than could be expected for a sequel. And the performances, especially that of Ron Perlman as Hellboy, are spectacular. Any other year, and this would be an odds-on favorite for Movie of the Year. In this case, however, it had the misfortune of having to compete with two true block-busters.

In May, audiences were treated to the return of one of the most iconic screen characters ever, Indiana Jones, in INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL. Though, as described earlier, I felt the film failed to truly live up to it’s potential, it’s still a great thrill ride and a total ‘blast from the past.’ The aging of the character was handled intelligently and naturally, accounting for the space of time since INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE had been released, and Harrison Ford stepped back into the familiar persona of Jones as easily as slipping into an old pair of shoes.

But the undisputed elephant in the cinema this year was Christopher Nolan’s THE DARK KNIGHT. As a life-long follower of the Darknight Detective, I had been somewhat disappointed with BATMAN BEGINS, and with Christian Bale’s portrayal of my favorite super-hero. I had to admit it was better than either Kilmer’s or Clooney’s, but still left much for this Bat-Fan to desire.

This outing, however, Bale somehow managed to find the character of Batman, supplanting Michael Keaton as the definitive Caped Crusader. Add to that the excellent performances of Michael Caine as Alfred, Gary Oldman as James Gordon, Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent, and of course, Ledger’s portrayal of the Joker, and you have the makings of a truly great movie. Throw in an excellent script by Jonathan and Christopher Nolan, and more confident direction from Christopher Nolan, and you have what is by far the Movie of the Year for 2008.


So that’s it. 2008 is over and done, and I for one shed no tears for it’s passing. It certainly lived up to it’s billing as a year of change, and not all for the better by any means. Still, life is change, and to go with the flow might not be bad advice for 2009.

So here the Unimonster sits, feet up, three fingers of Glenlivet warming my bones as I watch Boris Karloff do battle with David Manners over the alluring form of Zita Johann. Change may be a necessary thing; it may even, on occasion, be a desirable thing.

But if you ask me, there’s something to be said for timelessness.

When Science Attacks—The Sci-Fi Horror of the 1950’s

Every decade has its defining horror themes. In the early days of the genre, it was the German expressionists who dominated the imagery of horror, with films by directors such as Wiene, Murnau, and Lang setting the tone, and providing influences that would last well into the ‘40’s.

The ‘60’s were defined at the very beginning, by an oedipal peeping-tom in an out of the way motel, and a murder in a shower unlike anything Hollywood had put to film before. The movie was, of course, PSYCHO, and Hitchcock’s masterpiece began a movement towards a new realism in horror. This was marked by a willingness to explore heretofore taboo subjects in Horror Films, with graphic depictions of blood, gore, nudity, sex, and of course, violence, driving these explorations. The decade that began with PSYCHO ended with films such as ROSEMARY’S BABY, TARGETS, and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, and along the way, horror grew up.

And what, you may ask, defined Horror during the decade of the 1950’s? Simple… Science defined horror during the ‘50’s. Science was the threat, and science was the savior.

Perhaps this was a natural reaction, considering that we were barely five years removed from World War II when the 1950’s began, a war that was the first in which science and technology played an overwhelming role in securing victory. From Radar, to Jet engines, to the Atomic bombs that ended the war, never had there been such technological growth in so short a span of time. The war that began with Polish Lancers making cavalry charges gave way to ballistic missiles falling on London.

These memories were still fresh in the minds of movie going audiences as the decade began, and though science had undoubtedly contributed to the Allied victory, the other side, in the form of Stalin’s Soviet Union, had much the same technology. In 1949, the Soviets detonated their first Atomic weapon, and the Cold War began in earnest. This provided filmmakers with the pervasive subtext of the decade, Us versus Them.

Whether the threat was an invading alien, a mutated insect, or an evil scientist, the threat struck at the American way of life, embodied in a variety of forms. The location might be in an arctic research station, the New Mexico desert, or a Coney Island amusement park, but it was Americana under attack, and the indomitable American spirit was always equal to the challenge.

The first great movie of the decade was the Howard Hawk / Christian Nyby film THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD. The prototype of the Alien Invasion genre, THE THING… is a claustrophobic film, with nearly all the action contained within the station itself. This aids in building the feeling of the Threat from outside, so common to the films of the ‘50’s.

In addition, the pacing is very rapid, grabbing hold of the viewer and dragging him along to the fantastic conclusion, which sees the invader destroyed by good, old-fashioned American courage and ingenuity. This combination of factors pulls the viewer into the film, heightening the sense of “Us vs. Them”.

Another film that even more dramatically illustrated that theme was 1956’s INVASION OF THE BODY-SNATCHERS, directed by Don Siegel. Produced at the height of the McCarthy hearings before the House Un-American Activities Committee, it reflected perfectly the fears and suspicions of the time. Here, the horror was more subtle, but far more pronounced. The enemy wasn’t simply an invader from another world; it was us, and all we had to do to lose the fight was to fall asleep. The thought of falling asleep as an individual, thinking, feeling human being, and awakening as something else, a robotic, emotionless member of a collective, was anathema to the American spirit, and was directly analogous to life under Communism.

But most films of the period weren’t quite that direct, nor was the Communist “Red Menace” the only threat facing movie-going Americans. Another great Alien Invasion film found the entire world involved in a war against our nearest neighbor, Mars. The movie was, of course, George Pal’s WAR OF THE WORLDS, one of the first of the big-budget Special Effects blockbusters.

Based on H. G. Wells’ novel but without the political angst that tinged the book, this same story caused a nationwide panic in October 1938, as Orson Welles’ Mercury Theater staged a dramatic radio play, set in Grover’s Mills, New Jersey. Despite repeated disclaimers that this was a fictional account, thousands of listeners were convinced that Martians were invading New Jersey… as if they’d want it. The movie, released in 1953, was equally effective, if not as panic-inducing, as the radio program of fifteen years previously. The vision of Martian war machines hovering over the battlefield, impervious even to the biggest stick in the scientist’s arsenal, the atomic bomb, is one of the best images of the decade.

In addition, The “Bomb”, the device that won the war against Japan, and maintained the delicate balance of peace between East and West, was itself a threat. If not directly, when dropped from Soviet bombers, then certainly in its by-product—Radiation.

Radiation was responsible for a host of terrors visited upon fictional populaces in the 1950’s. From giant ants, to shrinking men, to fire-breathing prehistoric beasts, radiation ran rampant, churning out mutants by the score.

The first, and the best, (though not my personal favorite…) of the Giant Bug sub-genre of movies was the superb 1954 film THEM! The story of giant ants loose, first in New Mexico, then in Los Angeles, was connected directly to the earliest Atomic tests in Alamogordo. Nor were ants the only insects affected by radiation. TARANTULA was the result of a radioactive growth serum, and the giant grasshoppers in BEGINNING OF THE END owed their physiques to irradiated vegetables.

Higher orders of life weren’t safe from being horribly mutated, either… including man himself. Being caught in a nuclear blast caused Col. Glen Manning to grow into the Amazing Colossal Man, and another radioactive cloud shrinks Scott Carey down to the size of a microbe. Prehistoric creatures of all types found themselves reanimated, including the King of the Monsters himself, Godzilla.

Originally released in Japan in 1954 as GOJIRA, Godzilla was by far the greatest of the Monsters created in the 1950’s, and is still one of the most recognized. In it’s original form, it’s much more of an indictment of nuclear weapons and the destruction they bring; not totally unexpected from the only nation to suffer nuclear attack, but unlikely to play well to 1950’s U.S. audiences. The original’s a tremendously powerful and effective film, but even watered down for release here as GODZILLA—KING OF THE MONSTERS, it retains enough of that power to have remained a fan favorite for fifty years.

And let’s not forget the ‘classic’ monsters, the vampires, werewolves, and the like, who weren’t immune to the predations of the mad scientist, either. While the first two-thirds of the decade were essentially devoid of the traditional monsters so popular in the ‘30’s and ‘40’s, by 1956 Hollywood was once more interested in them, albeit with a science-based twist. In films such as THE WEREWOLF, HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, BLOOD OF DRACULA, and MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS, supernatural origins were cast aside in favor of scientific manipulation. Whether by a serum made from wolf hormones, chemically altered theatrical make-up, or microscopic organisms from a coelacanth’s bite, science was responsible for visiting these horrors on an unsuspecting populace.

Then there is the most iconic of American Monster-movies of the decade, CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. In a direct confrontation between science and nature, Man invades the peaceful sheltered habitat of the Gill-Man, irrevocably changing his existence in the effort to capture him for scientific study. The Gill-Man, Universal’s most sympathetic monster, was also the most victimized creature of the ‘50’s. Scientists hunted him in the first CREATURE film; caught him and transported him to a foreign land in the second; and surgically altered his very physiology in the final installment of the series. Where’s the ASPCA when you need them?

However, as the decade of the ‘50’s neared its close, traditional horror, ‘Classic’ horror, began to reassert itself in the genre. Thanks to a small, low-budget studio in Great Britain, which had been noted primarily for its crime pictures, great franchises such as Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Mummy were resurrected to tremendous success. That studio was, of course, Hammer Films, and starting with 1957’s CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, they single-handedly made Classic Horror popular again.

The rise of Hammer didn’t end Science’s role as the primary Protagonist / Antagonist of genre films, but it did mark the beginning of the shift to that “new realism” of which I spoke earlier. As standards eased and filmmakers explored expanded boundaries, films such as NIGHT OF THE HUNTER, PSYCHO, and CAPE FEAR became the driving force of the genre.

These literate, innovative, genuinely frightening films spawned hordes of imitators, most of which relied on increasing amounts of blood, gore, and nudity to make up for the lack of quality writing, directing or acting. By the midpoint of the ‘60’s, the heyday of the Mad Scientist had come to an end, and with it the horror cinema’s age of innocence.

Though I love all eras of the Horror Film, especially the Golden age of the ‘30’s through the mid-‘40’s, the years between 1950 and 1960 are perhaps the most fun. Yes, the movies are cheesy, the plots are simplistic, and the dialogue is straight from Leave It to Beaver; at least, in most cases.

But they also remind me of a time when it was ok to root for the good guy, and, more importantly, root against the bad; a time when things were simpler, even if only on the surface. They remind me of a time when “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” was something the public believed in, and something that Hollywood espoused… even if their collective fingers were crossed behind them.

DVD Review: THE BLACK SCORPION

Title: THE BLACK SCORPION

Year of Release—Film: 1957

Year of Release—DVD: 2003

DVD Label: Warner Home Video



THE MOVIE

While not as successful as its Warner Bros. stablemate THEM, or Universal’s TARANTULA, THE BLACK SCORPION is nevertheless a fine example of one of my favorite Sub-genres of Horror/Sci-Fi, the Giant Bug movie. Though the cast, featuring Richard Denning and Mara Corday, is definitely the B-list of the B-Movie crowd, and Edward Ludwig’s direction shows a surprising lack thereof, I’ve always found this movie to be an entertaining, enjoyable B-Monster romp from the golden age of such pictures.

The Creature effects are particularly good, featuring some of Willis O’Brien’s last work. O’Brien, or Obie to his friends, was the genius who brought an ape named Kong to life twenty-five years previously, and some of his unused creations for that film (including a few that had been intended for the famous ‘Spider Pit’ sequence…) found their way into this movie. While the budget for the film was too anemic to realize fully the filmmakers’ initial concept of hundreds of giant scorpions assaulting the Mexican capital, necessitating the plot device of one mega-scorpion killing off the rest, the end result is no less satisfying.

The acting is on par with most B-Pic’s of the era; competent, workmanlike, but not spectacular. Richard Denning leads the cast as the requisite scientific type, the hero who’s expected to solve the mysteries, fight the monsters, and romance the ladies, all in 90 minutes or less… Julius F. Kelp or Prof. Frink need not apply. It never fails to amaze this Unimonster that, whatever a scientist’s field of expertise, they instantly become experts in any needed field when confronted by a giant monster of some sort. Mara Corday is as stunning as ever, as a Mexican ranch-owner whose hacienda is overrun by the gigantic arachnids. The supporting cast does their part to make the film flow to it’s somewhat lackluster conclusion, a conclusion driven more by lack of funding than lack of imagination.

While THE BLACK SCORPION isn’t the timeless classic that THEM is, or as flat-out enjoyable as my personal favorite Giant Bug, THE DEADLY MANTIS, it’s still a great little example of 1950’s-style Drive-In movie fare, and as such belongs in every serious genre fan’s collection.


THE DISC

Warner Home Video is one of the best distributors out there, and the pride they take in their product is self-evident. While many distributors would ship a fifty-year-old movie out without so much as a correct aspect ratio, WHV always puts extra effort into making their DVD releases the best they can possibly be. The print, while not perfect, is far better than my VHS, and the addition of subtitles is always appreciated by my old ears… they don’t have to work so hard!



THE SPECIAL FEATURES

One thing that WHV excels in, especially on their older releases, is the quality of the special features that they include; and for a movie that celebrated it’s Golden anniversary last year, and a second-rate B-movie at that, WHV doesn’t skimp on the extras here. Though the number of features is small, the content is huge.

All three of the features focus on the special effects wizardry of Willis O’Brien, rather than the standard behind-the-scenes or making-of featurettes, and as a result are far more interesting. O’Brien stands as one of the true pioneers of film-making, and it’s always fascinating to learn more such figures.

Perhaps the best featurette is the look at two unfinished projects that were in development at the time of Obie’s death: THE MONSTER OF LAS VEGAS, and THE BEETLE-MEN. Both are very preliminary works; still, they serve to convey the concept of the finished products very well. That is thanks entirely to Willis’ artistry, and I can honestly say that it’s a shame these projects progressed no further.

IN CONCLUSION

I’ve never hid the fact that I’m crazy for the Giant Bug genre, especially the classics of the 1950’s. TARANTULA, THEM, BEGINNING OF THE END… these were the movies I grew up watching on Saturday afternoons, and they’re still the movies I turn to when I feel nostalgic for the carefree days of youth. THE BLACK SCORPION might not be the best of the lot, but it’s far from the worst, and presented as it is here, it’s hard to refuse. And when DeepDiscount has it for $5.99… why try to resist it? Just give in, and join me in a trip back to childhood.

Dracula Reborn: HORROR OF DRACULA and the Rise of Hammer*

The mid 1940’s to mid 1950’s was a period of decline for Classic Horror. Monsters were no longer tuxedo-clad vampires or shambling, cloth-wrapped mummies. Monsters were now gigantic insects, radioactive mutants, and alien invaders. What vampires and werewolves were to be found were products of science tampering with nature, not the ancient undead or supernatural curses.

Two prime examples of this are a pair of films released in 1957: THE VAMPIRE, and I WAS A TEEN-AGE WEREWOLF.

THE VAMPIRE, directed by Paul Landres, was a nondescript programmer from Gramercy Pictures, distributed by United Artists; not a terrible film, but hardly memorable. A doctor, while on a quest to improve his mind, tries an extract of vampire bat blood, with predictable results.

Gene Fowler Jr.’s I WAS A TEEN-AGE WEREWOLF on the other hand, became something of a cult-classic, primarily because of the screen debut of a youthful Michael Landon rather than the film’s inherent quality. Landon plays Tony Rivers, a juvenile delinquent placed under the care of a psychologist (Whit Bissell).

The psychologist performs some unauthorized experiments on the young man, using hypnosis to regress him to a point in man’s development where he is a savage, feral beast. Here too, the results are entirely predictable and, for the junior wolf-man, unfortunate.

Such was the state of our classic creatures of horror through most of the decade of the 1950’s. But the pendulum was beginning to swing back towards the classics, and two unrelated events provided the impetus for that change of fortune. The first was the release, in June of 1957, of Hammer Films THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, launching the British studio to the forefront of the horror genre. Introducing Hammer’s Dynamic Duo of Horror, Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing, along with the studio’s star director, Terence Fisher, this film sparked a resurgence of interest in the classics, as well as changed the look of Horror Films.

Hammer Film Productions had been around, in its then-current form, since shortly after the end of World War II. A child of Col. James Carreras, Hammer was very much a small family business in the mid-1950’s, known primarily for crime, adventure, and war pictures. Ensconced at Bray Studios, Down Place, in Berkshire, a small, tightly-knit group of artists and craftsmen would create some of the greatest Horror Films ever produced, working on budgets that were fractions of what was typical in a Hollywood production.

They accomplished these miracles, at least in the beginning, through the efforts of a few very talented people, the people who created the “Hammer Look”… people such as Michael Carreras, the son of James, Tony Nelson-Keyes, Tony Hinds, and Jimmy Sangster. Jack Asher’s superb photography brought the Hammer horrors to life, painted in brilliant colors across a canvas laid before the viewer by Bernard Robinson’s perfect production and art designs.

THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN was the film that established the pattern for the “Hammer Look”… bold, vibrant colors, lush period sets and costumes, and, at least at this point in time, quality acting, writing, and directing. Peter Cushing, as the mad genius Dr. Victor Frankenstein, carries the film, creating a character at once evil yet complex, someone the viewer is unable to see completely as a villain. Lee’s Monster, by comparison, is simply cruel and brutish, lacking any of the pathos and humanity of Karloff’s creation.

Philip Leakey’s make-up, constrained as it was by threat of legal action from Universal if it too closely resembled Jack Pierce’s trademarked conception, was generic and unimpressive, doing nothing to convey the monster’s origins the way Pierce’s did for Karloff. Karloff looked like a patchwork, a being stitched together from rotting cadavers into a less than perfect whole; Lee, on the other hand, looked like nothing more than the common zombie that would populate Horror Films beginning little more than a decade later. It was not an effective look.

While the film was much closer in plot to Shelley’s original tale, it was all gloss and glitter; beautiful to look at, but lacking the heart and soul of James Whale’s landmark film, and wholly inferior to it. This movie, like Hammer Films itself, was a gorgeous façade, with very little of substance supporting it.

The second major development in the restoration of classic horror occurred in the fall of 1957, when Universal, through an arrangement with Screen Gems, released their Shock Theater package to Television stations around the country. Composed of some of their greatest Horror Films, including FRANKENSTEIN, DRACULA, THE WOLF-MAN, and CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, this led to an explosion of Hosted Horror programs on Friday and Saturday nights. Though Horror Hosts had existed prior to the Shock Theater release, it was the flood of high-quality movies and the success of hosts such as Zacherley in New York and Vampira in Los Angeles that spurred stations from Atlanta to Minneapolis to develop their own late-night Horror shows.

These trends continued into 1958, and on the 22nd of May of that year, at the Gaumont Theater in London, Hammer’s second blockbuster premiered. HORROR OF DRACULA, once again directed by Fisher and starring Cushing and Lee, took the basic blueprint laid down by the previous film and set it in concrete, defining for the next twelve years the look and texture of classic horror. Not until DRACULA A.D. 1972 was there anything more than a qualitative change in Hammer’s Dracula franchise, and decidedly not for the better.

This time however there would be a clear choice between good and evil, as Cushing was cast as Dr. Van Helsing, the bloody Count’s nemesis. Though he ably demonstrated that he could play evil convincingly in THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, it’s as the heroic Van Helsing that he found his greatest role.

Where, in 1931’s DRACULA, Edward Van Sloan had essayed an elderly, superstitious professor (for all his scientific training, Van Sloan’s character was little more than a village wise woman…), Cushing portrayed Van Helsing as a young, strong, active combatant against evil, seeking scientific explanations for the vampire’s existence, and scientific means to destroy him. Universal’s Van Helsing was a teacher; Hammer’s was a warrior, and a worthy foe for the Prince of Darkness.

And what a Prince of Darkness he faced.

For more than a quarter of a century previously, Bela Lugosi’s portrayal of the eponymous Count from Bram Stoker’s novel had been the model that moviemakers followed, and moviegoers wanted. The image of Dracula as an urbane, sophisticated gentleman, clad in black-tie formality, had become ingrained into the consciousness of Horror fans through multiple iterations of the Count and his clones.

Whether portrayed by Lugosi himself, Lon Chaney Jr., or John Carradine, the American image of the Vampire was that of Bela, in tie and tails, top hat and cape. His Dracula had a slow, languid quality, almost hypnotic to watch. It took no stretch of the imagination to picture a beautiful young woman falling victim to his spell. Dracula, as created by Lugosi, was first and foremost a seducer, a debaucher. He was, at heart, a lecherous old man.

Christopher Lee’s reinvention of the Count cast aside this “Undead Man-about-Town…” image of Dracula. While the wardrobe was little changed, the vampire inside underwent a radical transformation.

Lee’s Dracula exuded youth, power, strength, vitality. Lugosi was polished, refined; Lee was a barely concealed savage, like a wolf masquerading as a dog. Lee’s Dracula was no seducer of women; he was a rapist, in spirit if not in fact; taking his women by force, not by guile. However, in a typically post-Victorian British Male Freudian manner, his victims were all too willing accomplices to their own debasement, eager to offer up their throats for his hungry kisses.

Dracula, as rendered by Christopher Lee, was an animalistic creature of the night, savage, brutal… and just like the studio that spawned him, new and exciting.

That phrase also serves well to describe the film itself. Though no more faithful to the source material than Browning’s 1931 film had been, this script, by Jimmy Sangster, possesses an energy totally lacking in the original. Where John L. Balderston’s script for the ’31 version had been stiff and stagey, betraying its origins, Sangster, with some alterations by Fisher, crafted a script that fairly flew from plot-point to plot-point, dispensing with everything that failed to advance the story.

Gone was the slow moving, talky introductory scene of the Browning film. Here we meet Jonathan Harker (not the extraneous character of Renfield…) already arrived at Castle Dracula. In a brief voice-over, taken from the pages of his diary, we are told all we need to know: Harker, played ably by John Van Eyssen, is a friend and colleague of a Dr. Van Helsing, and is there to find and kill Count Dracula, and end his “…reign of terror.”

Harker is found out, however, and infected by a vampire’s bite. Racing against time before he too becomes one of the undead, he finds the daytime resting place of Dracula and his consort. In typical Horror movie style, he makes a monumental blunder and, as the sun is setting, decides to stake the female vampire first. This he does successfully, only to find the sun has set and Dracula has awakened.

The scene shifts to a small village Gasthaus, decked out with wreaths of garlic, where we first meet Dr. Van Helsing. He’s in search of his friend Harker, and the inn was his last reported address. The innkeeper is less than forthcoming with Van Helsing, but Inga, the serving girl, gives him Harker’s diary, found at the crossroads near the Castle.

The book leads him to the castle, now abandoned by Dracula. As he nears the castle, Van Helsing is nearly run down by a fast moving hearse, bearing a white casket inside it. Entering the castle, Van Helsing finds the body of his now undead friend, and releases his soul from its torment.

He then travels to the home of Arthur and Mina Holmwood (Michael Gough and Melissa Stribling) to inform them, and Miss Lucy Holmwood, Arthur’s sister and the fiancée of Harker, of his death. He provides no details, but simply tells them that Harker had died ten days before. Holmwood treats him coldly, and, as soon as his news is delivered, asks him to leave. The Holmwoods decide to keep the information from Lucy, whose health is fragile. However, she is already aware of her fiancé’s death, and seems strangely unaffected by this knowledge. As her brother bends to kiss her goodnight, he fails to notice the two puncture wounds in her neck, over her jugular vein.

Once she is alone, she removes a silver crucifix from her neck and opens a door leading out onto the grounds. As she lies back on the bed, anticipation on her face, Dracula appears in the doorway, and shadows and darkness engulf the young woman.

The next morning, the Holmwoods are shocked and dismayed by the deterioration in Lucy’s condition, as is Dr. Seward, the attending physician. He suggests a second opinion, and Mina decides to seek help from Van Helsing. He immediately recognizes the symptoms for what they are, and issues strict orders for the household to follow: All doors and windows in Lucy’s room are to remain tightly closed and locked between sunset and sunrise; and her room is to be filled with boughs of garlic flowers. Any deviation from these instructions, he adds ominously, would result in her death.

Lucy, however, convinces a maid to remove the flowers and open the doors, allowing her bloodthirsty lover into her bedroom. The next morning, she is found dead, drained of blood.

Holmwood is devastated by his sister’s death, and asks Van Helsing to leave them to their grief. The doctor apologizes, but informs them of the true nature of Harker’s, and now Lucy’s, deaths. He leaves Harker’s diary with Holmwood, with the admonition that if he could not believe Van Helsing, then certainly he could trust his late friend’s own words.

The diary doesn’t fully convince Holmwood, but when the little daughter of the maid is nearly attacked by someone she recognizes as “Aunt Lucy”, he goes to the family mausoleum, and finds her coffin empty. He waits for her return, and is shocked to see her walking towards him, leading the young girl by the hand. He calls to her, and she releases the girl. She approaches her brother, reaching out her arms to embrace him, mouth opening to reveal the elongated canines of the vampire.

Suddenly, there is a cross thrust into view… Van Helsing has arrived just in time to save Holmwood from his sister’s bloodlust. He presses the cross against the flesh of her forehead, burning the image of the icon into her skin. She breaks away, rushing back into the mausoleum, and back to her coffin. They follow her in, and Holmwood is shocked to see the evil that is manifested in Lucy’s face; her formerly beautiful, innocent features now twisted into a vulpine grimace. He asks Van Helsing what can be done to release her from this vile curse. The answer is simple, though horrifying: They must drive a wooden stake into her heart, finally ending her existence, and releasing her spirit.

But, before they take that step, they should consider one thing: Lucy can be used to lead them to her master. They can follow her straight to Dracula’s lair. Holmwood, however, balks at this. He wants his sister freed from her curse now, before she can defile others as she has been defiled, spreading Dracula’s corruption like a virus. Van Helsing regrets his decision, but cannot in good conscience deny the grieving man. With a sigh of resignation, he drives the stake into Lucy’s chest.

With the deed done, he leads Holmwood over to his sister’s coffin. Once again, innocence and peace have returned to her visage… Lucy Holmwood is finally at rest.

The pair returns to Holmwood’s home, and begin to lay plans for an assault on Dracula himself. Holmwood still is in disbelief, despite the evidence of his own experiences. He questions Van Helsing on the legendary aspects of vampires, their ability to transform themselves, for instance. A common fallacy, he is told. Vampires have no such power. Van Helsing has devoted his life to the study of these creatures, and even his knowledge barely scratches the surface.

The first priority they have is to locate his resting place. Dracula must reside in his native soil by day, and Van Helsing believes he has a clue. The hearse that nearly ran him down that day at the castle must have been carrying Dracula in his box of earth, and to get to Karlstadt, it had to pass through the border crossing. There they might find records of the crossing, and a destination for Dracula’s coffin.

However, the border official is less than cooperative with the duo, even after Van Helsing presents his medical credentials. Holmwood, however, has better credentials… cash. A bribe reveals that the coffin was consigned to an undertaker in Karlstadt, and gives them the address of the establishment.

At that moment, Mina is receiving a message from a street urchin, informing her that Mr. Arthur Holmwood wishes her to meet him after sundown at 49 Freidrichstrasse… the same address that now holds Dracula’s coffin. She goes, oblivious to the danger, and as she enters the storeroom of the undertaker’s shop, the camera shifts to a single white casket… as the lid slowly slides open.

The next morning, Van Helsing and Holmwood have returned, though only temporarily. They have yet to visit the undertaker, hopefully to find Dracula helpless in his coffin. As they head out, they encounter Mina, returning from a night with the object of their hunt. She explains that she had taken an early morning stroll in the garden. There is an odd look of contentment, even satisfaction, on her face, and it’s perhaps a poor reflection on her husband that he does not recognize it for what it is, instead inquiring as to her health. She reassures him, and the pair leaves on their mission. At the undertaker’s, the situation is worse than they had expected. Not only is Dracula not there, but his coffin has been relocated. They’ve lost their only clue to his whereabouts.

Back at the Holmwood house, they quietly discuss their options over maps of the area. Holmwood remembers a small, neglected graveyard in the vicinity; with no other logical place to start, they decide to begin their hunt there. He turns to say good-bye to his wife, and asks her to wear, as a personal favor to him, a small silver cross. She resists, but he places it in her hand. Instantly she screams, and falls unconscious to the floor. As Van Helsing rushes to her aid, he opens her clenched fist, to reveal the shape of the cross, burned into the palm.

Holmwood is angry with himself for not following Van Helsing’s suggestion to use Lucy to lead them to Dracula, but Van Helsing tells him not to worry; there is still time to save Mina, and she can serve the same purpose he had in mind for Lucy. They will keep watch over the house later that night, and catch Dracula when he attempts to reach her.

That night, the two men patrol the grounds, keeping a watchful eye on the house. Mina watches them from her window, then turns to open her bedroom door. Below, in the foyer of the house, stands Dracula. With desire on her face, she watches him approach her. He closes the door as he enters her bedroom, and as she falls back onto the bed, he throws himself on her.

As dawn breaks, the men end their vigil. Van Helsing decides to stay there and rest, and Holmwood heads up to bed. A sudden cry brings the doctor running to find a scene of horror: Mina, apparently lifeless, rivulets of dried blood tracing paths down her pale throat.

Van Helsing hastily gives the woman a transfusion, using her husband as a donor. This saves her life, though she remains under Dracula’s control. He sends Holmwood down to rest, with an admonition to drink some wine to fortify his strength, then turns his attention to caring for his patient.

Later, he joins Holmwood in the parlor. The shaken man has taken his advice, finishing off a bottle of wine. He asks the maid to bring up another bottle from the cellar, but she demurs, saying that Mrs. Holmwood had forbidden her to go into the cellar. That sends a jolt through Van Helsing, who rushes down to the cellar. There he finds Dracula’s coffin, empty. At that moment, the cellar door opens, and just for a moment hunter and hunted stand face-to-face. Dracula runs out, pulling the door shut behind him. After Van Helsing insures that Dracula will not return to his coffin by placing a silver cross on the bed of earth, he and Holmwood give chase, and a scream leads them upstairs. Gerda, the maid, has been attacked by Dracula, though not harmed. But Dracula has taken Mina with him as he fled the house.

There is only one place he can go for shelter before the sun rises, and that is back home to his castle. They find a dead coachman; Dracula has killed the man and stolen his vehicle, and is racing to get home before dawn. They must catch up to him before he can hide himself in the basements and catacombs of his home, or they might be searching for him for years.

And for Mina.

Dracula arrives at the castle with mere moments to spare, and he must first open a grave for Mina. Rapidly he digs a shallow trench, drops her in, and begins shoveling earth in over her unconscious form. She awakens with a scream just as Van Helsing and her husband pull up in their carriage.

Holmwood leaps to his wife’s aid, as Van Helsing pursues Dracula into the castle. Cornered, Dracula fights with Van Helsing, gaining the upper hand, and slowly drawing near the doctor’s exposed throat. Van Helsing breaks the vampire’s grip, however, and notices a thin shaft of sunlight stabbing through closed curtains. He rips the curtains down, flooding the hall with light. With a pair of crossed candlesticks he forces Dracula into the sunlight, where he crumbles into dust. The threat is over, Mina is freed, and Dracula is finally dead.

This was perhaps Hammer’s best production, with the possible exception of the following year’s THE MUMMY. All the important elements were in place… Sangster’s script, Asher’s photography, the performances of Cushing and Lee, all tied together by Fisher’s competent, workmanlike direction. Together, these artisans equaled more than the sum of their individual talents, and for the brief period of time that they were all together at Bray, they produced some of the best Horror Films the genre has ever seen.

The story of the rise of Hammer Films is very much the story of a few gifted individuals in precisely the right place at precisely the right time. It wasn’t due to the inherent strengths of Hammer; there were none, as events unfolding less than two decades later would pointedly demonstrate.

When this group began to dissolve within five years, Hammer Films would take a hit, in terms of quality, from which it would never recover. The Hammer look would soon degenerate into an assembly-line, mass-produced commodity, churned out as rapidly as possible, sold lock, stock, and residual rights to the highest bidder.

Hammer, for most of its existence, lived in a perpetual cycle of brief periods of plenty broken by long stretches of lean; living from paycheck to paycheck, always trying to catch onto the latest trend. For the most part, they succeeded, at least until the fragile house of cards that was the company’s financial structure came crashing down around the head of Michael Carreras.

But in 1958, that was still twenty years away. In 1958, they weren’t trying to follow the trends, they were creating them.

In 1958, Hammer Films released HORROR OF DRACULA… and the renaissance of classic horror began.

* Primary reference for this article was the excellent book from Denis Meikle, The History of Horrors: The Rise and Fall of the House of Hammer. I cannot recommend it strongly enough.

DVD Review: FIDO

Title: FIDO

Year of Release—Film: 2006

Year of Release—DVD: 2007

DVD Label: Lion’s Gate Home Entertainment





THE MOVIE

In the past 40 years since George Romero changed the world of Horror Films with NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, we’ve been treated to virtually every reanimated corpse—end of the world scenario possible, including the ZomCom (Zombie Comedy…). The best of these, 2004’s SHAUN OF THE DEAD, worked on multiple levels, combining truly first-class zombie action and gore with both a romantic comedy and a stoner buddy-pic. Now, Canadian director Andrew Currie brings us what might be the first Zombie coming-of-age tale, in FIDO.

Set in a bizarre world where life is locked in the 1950’s, Timmy Robinson is an average kid… picked on some, generally ignored by his parents, not too dissimilar from how many of us grew up. Until the day his mother purchases a domesticated zombie as a household servant.

That right, folks… thanks to the geniuses at ZomCon, you too can own your very own zombie slave. They don’t need to sleep, they don’t need to eat, and with their patented Domestication Collars in place, they’re as docile as kittens. At least, as long as the collars are activated, that is.
When the Robinson’s new zombie accidentally slips his electronic leash and eats the neighbor, it sets off a chain reaction that endangers the entire community of Willard; traumatizes Timmy’s death-obsessed father, who has a phobia of zombies; and leads his mother to question the meaning of her life.

Currie does a fairly convincing job selling the world as it is following the Zombie Wars, though the idea that the survivors of such a war would tolerate zombies in such close proximity is a little hard to accept. Still it works more often than not, thanks in large part to the excellent cast, led by Billy Connolly as Fido, the Robinson’s zombie. Carrie-Ann Moss, as Timmy’s mother, and Dylan Baker, as his father, are very well-cast, and do a splendid job with the material provided, which is at times very weak. In addition, Henry Czerny, as Mr. Bottoms, the Head of Security at ZomCon, turns in an excellent performance, with perhaps the best line in the film. (“I’d take Dee-Dee’s head off in a second if I had to.”)

While the premise is interesting, and what action there is is well done, far too much of the film is given over to long expository scenes where the family comes to terms with the realization that Fido’s not just some nameless monster; that there’s still a trace of his humanity left, and in one way or another, that humanity touches every member of the household.

While there are some humorous moments in the film, it’s hard for me to describe it as a Comedy; in fact, it really doesn’t lend itself to an easy categorization. Perhaps The Adventures of Lassie, as seen by Salvador Dali, would be the best way to describe it. Currie even spoofs this at one point, as Fido is sent running home to fetch help when Timmy is in trouble.

On the whole, while it is an entertaining movie, it’s not a particularly satisfying one. The ending is especially weak, with a contrived, cutesy tone that utterly fails the believability test.


THE DISC

Lion’s Gate Home Entertainment has yet to turn out a bad DVD release, and this one is no exception. A beautiful anamorphic widescreen print, crystal clear sound, subtitles… Lion’s Gate always gives you the most bang for your buck.



THE SPECIAL FEATURES

For a low-budget indie film that is probably known to less than ten percent of Horror fandom, Lion’s Gate Home Entertainment has given this one the royal treatment, loading it full of special features. Most however, aren’t quite worth the effort.

There’s the obligatory making-of segment; interesting, but hardly necessary. This isn’t a film with a lot of “How’d they do that?” moments. There’s also an enjoyable montage of Connolly’s transformation into the zombie Fido, though once again, it adds very little to the package overall.
For this Unimonster, the special features didn’t alter my opinion of the DVD in either direction. It’s better to have them there than to not, I suppose… there’s just nothing that grabs the viewer’s attention and adds value to the purchase.



IN CONCLUSION

I always applaud filmmakers pushing Horror in new directions, testing the boundaries of the genre. However, as with all such endeavors, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. With FIDO, it does work more often than not… barely. The premise, even in terms of Horror Films, is wildly implausible; the humor, what there is of it, is forced; and the lack of action, suspense, and horror kill it in the end.

I have seen comments on some of the boards that this movie was funnier than SHAUN OF THE DEAD. All I can say in reply is that I must have seen a different movie. Contrary to what other reviewers, and the producers themselves, might try to tell you, this isn’t a comedy. My problem with it is, I’m not quite sure what it is. And I doubt the filmmakers really know either. It’s not a bad movie; in fact, it’s occasionally very good. But for me to recommend a buy, ‘occasionally very good…’ just isn’t good enough.

But if weird, quirky, offbeat films are your cup of tea, then I would suggest you do what I did, and go the BlockBuster Bargain Bin route. When I’m paying a grand total of $21.40 (including tax…) for four recently released DVD’s, a movie has to be incredibly bad for me to feel like I’m being ripped off. Don’t get me wrong, it has happened… can we all say SNAKES ON A PLANE? Still, it’s a lot easier to shrug off $5.35 than $20.For most, though, I recommend renting it. It’s just unusual enough that a lot of viewers will be turned off by it. Find out if you’re in that group before you lay out any more of your hard-earned cash than necessary.

A Fond Look Back at the Man who Brought Dinosaurs to Life

When I was young, two of the most popular things with boys my age were astronauts and dinosaurs. Astronauts I understood; growing up a hundred miles from Cape Canaveral, fascinated by space and everything connected to it, a confirmed Star Trek fan by the age of three, astronauts were the stuff of my imagination, and my childhood heroes. Dinosaurs were fun, but I never got into them the way I did astronauts until I was older. Two movies were instrumental in firing my interest in dinosaurs, and, though they couldn’t be more different, they shared a common bond that insured their superiority: A man named Ray Harryhausen.

The first dinosaur movie that I was captured by was a twenty-year old classic by the time it hit the Summer “Kiddie-Show” circuit where I first saw it. THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS, released in 1953, was Harryhausen’s first major solo effort in Stop-Motion Animation. A protégé of Willis O’Brien, the man who breathed life into King Kong, Harryhausen would go on to exceed even his mentor’s genius, with films such as EARTH vs. THE FLYING SAUCERS, THE SEVENTH VOYAGE OF SINBAD, and JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS.

But THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS was where it began, and for Horror fans it was easy to see that the young effects artist was bound for greatness. I’ve reviewed this movie below here, so I’ll not go into detail about the film itself. Suffice it to say that, to a nine or ten-year old boy, already used to a steady diet of Japanese Kaijû, the idea of a real (well, real enough…) dinosaur rampaging through city streets was tailor-made to satisfy. Previously, the few dino-movies I had seen were all set in prehistoric times, with tribes of cave-men doing battle with photographically enlarged lizards masquerading as Dinosaurs. Even in my youthful innocence, I could recognize crap when it was before my eyes.

But BEAST… was different, as different in its way as my beloved Kaijû were. And for the first time, I was convinced that dinosaurs could be… frightening.

The second movie was one that I had seen as a young child, but that took on a different quality when I saw it as a teen-ager. That movie was ONE MILLION YEARS B.C., and that “…different quality…” was a twenty-six year old Raquel Welch, in a tight-fitting bearskin bikini.

Though a few of the creatures that rumbled through that prehistoric world were the result of bad-looking trick photography, most were all Ray’s… from the giant sea turtle to the Pterodactyls that battled over Raquel's luscious form. Harryhausen was at this point at the height of his success, with the on-going SINBAD series of films and the critical acclaim that he received for JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS. His talent was also at its peak, and the effects work in this film is nearly as beautiful as its star.

ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. still stands as Hammer Films’ highest-grossing movie, no doubt due in large part to Ms. Welch’s large parts. But I can’t help but believe that Ray’s excellent animation played some role in the film’s appeal.

Ray Harryhausen will soon celebrate his 88th birthday. He’s been retired for more than 25 years now, since his final film, CLASH OF THE TITANS, was panned by critics and largely ignored by audiences, too jaded to appreciate the artistry of his work. He’s now, much like Forry Ackerman and Bob Burns, an elder statesman of the genre, a reminder of past glories and yes, past heartaches. But like his friends, he is still with us, and we have the opportunity to say thank you for all he’s done for the genre, and all he’s meant to us. Thank you for the Martians and the Minotaur, for the ferocious Kraken and the battling skeletons, Cerberus and Medusa.
But most of all thank you for a “Beast” of a Rhedosaurus, that showed a nine-year old boy that dinosaurs could be frightening as well as fun, and for me, that was always the key to entertainment.

DVD Review: THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS

Title: THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS

Year of Release—Film: 1953

Year of Release—DVD: 2003

DVD Label: Warner Home Video

THE MOVIE

Ray Harryhausen is, to a generation of monster fans, the greatest Special Effects Animator of all. The protégé of Willis O’Brien, the genius who brought King Kong to life, Harryhausen had gotten his first feature job in 1949, as an assistant to O’Brien on MIGHTY JOE YOUNG. But this film was his big break, and he made the most of it.

The plot is simple, and works well, though the script falls apart somewhat in the details. A Rhedosaurus, entombed in arctic ice, is awakened by a nuclear test. Soon he is making his way to warmer climes, following the eastern coast of North America. Of course, this brings him into conflict with the U.S. Army and Navy, and better than average use is made of military surplus stock footage.

The Rhedosaurus’ attack on the lighthouse is a spectacular example of animation, and the climactic battle at Coney Island is one of the best monster scenes of the ‘50’s. It’s easy to understand why audiences were truly amazed at this Pre-GOJIRA rampage.

Though Harryhausen’s effects are not quite as polished in this film as they would be in later pictures, his talent shines through the occasional technical glitches, and it’s easy to overlook the few problems the movie has. While it’s not the best Giant Beast movie out there, it is a great one, and it’s often forgotten that Harryhausen did it a year before Toho released their King of all monsters onto an unsuspecting Tokyo.


THE DISC

One of the best distributors out there is Warner Home Video, and it seems that they put their best efforts into the older Genre releases. THEM, THE BLACK SCORPION, THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS… all received treatments that are usually reserved for brand new blockbuster releases, or at least high-dollar collector’s editions. For this disc, they used as absolutely beautiful print of the film, cleaned it up nicely, subtitled it (always important to a slightly deaf Unimonster…) and packaged it nicely… even if in one of their annoying Snap cases.



THE SPECIAL FEATURES

WHV also loaded this disc down with special features, ones that will be of great interest to Harryhausen’s dedicated cadre of fans. The meat of the Special Feature section is contained in two documentaries, both featuring Harryhausen himself.

The first, THE RHEDOSAURUS AND THE ROLLER-COASTER: THE MAKING OF THE BEAST, is Harryhausen simply describing what went into the making of the film, primarily of course from his perspective. It’s a fascinating look at the process of creating a 1950’s B-Movie, from someone who was instrumental in the genre. While there is none of the behind-the-scene footage you’d see in a documentary of this type done today, his words aptly illustrate the goings-on.

The second, and far more heartwarming, of the documentaries is AN UNFATHOMABLE FRIENDSHIP: RAY HARRYHAUSEN AND RAY BRADBURY. This is just an open conversation between two life-long friends, who were lucky enough to do something they loved for a living. Taped in front of a gathering of fans and friends at the Warner Bros. lot, they discuss not only the film that gave them both their first real break, but the friendship that had begun years before that, and continues to this day.

The only other Special Feature is a Theatrical Trailer gallery, but it’s interesting, consisting of trailers for four of Harryhausen’s films, including BEAST… Though I’m sure it’s main purpose is to sell other Harryhausen films in WHV’s DVD catalog, it’s nonetheless entertaining.



IN CONCLUSION

I won’t lie to you; I’m a huge Harryhausen fan, and it would be difficult for me to be objective about this disc even if it weren’t this well done. Fortunately, that isn’t an issue… it is a superb DVD release, and I feel no guilt in saying that all “giant monster” fans, as well as anyone who considers themselves fans of Ray Harryhausen, should own this one. The list price is $19.95, damn reasonable for what you get, though I’ve seen it cheaper. I’d have paid that for the two documentaries on the disc or for the movie alone, without Special Features.

As always, it comes down to how big a fan of this genre of Horror or Science-Fiction you are, and how much you want a particular film. Speaking personally, Giant Dinosaurs, Insects and Reptiles are just about as good as it gets, and Ray Harryhausen’s creations rule that roost. The only way I can imagine it being better is to be watching it under the stars, girlfriend beside me, through the windshield of a ’54 Buick… maybe one with Nash seats.

10 Things I just don’t Get

Everyone has certain things that they just do not comprehend; things that, for one reason or another, just goes right over their head. The Unimonster’s no different… indeed, considering how old-fashioned I am, it’s safe to say that there’s a veritable multitude of pop-culture icons and references that I don’t get, and hopefully, never will. I am, thankfully, immune to the dubious charms of Paris Hilton; would gleefully shoot myself in the foot to avoid trying out for any reality show; and should the day ever come when I stand in a line to pay four and a half dollars to order something called a “vente, non-fat, decaf, caramel mochacino…” then the day has arrived when I find the tallest building around and jump.

So were I to list all that baffles me regarding things that are popular and why, I could quite easily fill volumes. So let’s confine ourselves to our chosen genre, and focus in on ten things, in no special order, that never fail to surprise and amaze me in the world of Horror, Sci-Fi, and Fantasy films.

1.) The PHANTASM movies: When I first saw PHANTASM at the theater, sometime in my fourteenth year, I was impressed… somewhat. An original story; cheesy, but interesting, Special Effects; and a genuinely refreshing cast made me hope for the best. Not being a Horror novice, even at that age, I could see the potential of the story, even though the producers obviously couldn’t afford to realize that potential. But I could tell they had a good idea, and wasn’t disappointed with the end result. Unfortunately, even when more money was plowed into the franchise, that potential just never seemed to be reached. None of the three sequels have managed to equal the first, though PHANTASM II (1988) came close. Sadder still, the original loses more luster on each subsequent viewing, to the point where it’s simply become a bad movie.

2.) Post-Modern Werewolves & Vampires: Can someone please tell me why it’s necessary for the undead to travel about packing more heat than a Snoop Dogg concert? The trend that began with 1987’s NEAR DARK shows no signs of petering out, not with BLADE, its two moderately successful sequels; the UNDERWORLD franchise; and a dozen other rip-offs and low-budget imitations. Now believe me, I’m all for an armed populace… but when you can transform into an eight-foot tall beast, with six-inch claws and fangs, doesn’t that kinda eliminate the need for Smith & Wesson??

3.) Horror & Politics: To say that there is a certain political slant in Hollywood is an understatement, and for me not to realize that the majority of filmmakers share a political stance that’s diametrically opposed to my own would be naïveté bordering on idiocy. Still, I would like to think that I could watch a movie about re-animated corpses without getting a political diatribe spewed at me. Now, I’m not talking about some subtle sub-text, such as Romero’s LAND OF THE DEAD, and how the story evolved following 9-11. Screenwriters and directors are human; they’re going to draw on their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions when they create. It’s the blatant, obvious slap-in-the-face attacks on everyone whose opinion differs from theirs that bother me. The Showtime series Masters of Horror is a perfect case-in-point. On the face of it, this is a great idea, one whose time has come. Offer the genre’s greatest directors and writers the opportunity to produce a short film, free from the constrictions of the studio process. Most, such as Dario Argento, Takashi Miike, and John Landis have taken the opportunity to create genuinely good Horror. A few, however, have taken the chance to launch into a political screed, unconcerned about offending fans who don’t share their views. While I applaud Showtime for creating an environment where Horror can flourish, it’s off-putting, to say the least, to try to sit through a program that’s attacking your very core beliefs.

4.) “Non-Horror” Horror: Recently, it’s become fashionable for major stars, actors such as De Niro, Cruise, and Cage, to try their hands at scaring audiences out of their hard-earned dollars. Now, ordinarily, I’m in favor of anything that leads to more Horror Films being made, and far be it for me to say that A-list actors and actresses shouldn’t work in Horror. But I fail to see why, with such a massive investment involved in bringing that much star power to bear, no thought is given to actually making movies that are scary… or even good. HIDE AND SEEK; WAR OF THE WORLDS; THE WICKER MAN… Not a lot there to justify the expense, huh? What’s worse is the situation where directors become involved in remaking classic horror films in order to place some sort of personal stamp on it. From Spielberg’s WAR OF THE WORLDS to Neil LaBute’s abysmal remake of THE WICKER MAN, Hollywood seems convinced that they can improve great films by removing everything that made them great. Steven Spielberg is possibly the greatest living director, certainly the greatest American filmmaker since John Ford, but not even he could improve upon perfection. George Pal’s WAR OF THE WORLDS is a perfect film for its type and time; the remake, simply put, isn’t.

5.) Stephen King: First of all, let me say that King is the greatest Horror author of the past thirty years, bar none. He may be the greatest ever, though that would be a difficult point for which to argue. “IT”, “Pet Sematary”, “Salem’s Lot”, “Needful Things”… these and many other great works have sprung from the mind of this man, and the genre has been much richer for it. That I get perfectly well, and that I do not deny. But the Stephen King I don’t get is the King who gave us THE TOMMYKNOCKERS, and SLEEPWALKERS, and KINGDOM HOSPITAL. It seems as though King will allow virtually any project to carry his name, no matter how tangentially he’s connected to it; and as for his own writing, there’s no doubt that the 1999 accident that nearly claimed his life has had a profound effect on him. Can he return to his Horror roots, or does he even wish to, are questions that those of us who love his earlier work are waiting to have answered.

6.) Why Keanu Reeves is a Star: Seriously, anyone have a clue? He was absolutely horrible in Francis Ford Coppola’s DRACULA, and his performance in 2005’s CONSTANTINE was even worse… so how does he become one of the most in-demand actors in Hollywood? Personally, I think it involves the blood of a chicken and some whispered phrases in Latin.

7.) Why Bruce Campbell Isn’t: Even if you aren’t a fan of the EVIL DEAD trilogy, (and truth to tell, I’m not…) then BUBBA HO-TEP should be enough to convince you that the man with the chin has some serious acting chops. His over-the-top performances as Ash in Sam Raimi’s cult classic EVIL DEAD movies are, in my opinion, the only reason that those films are regarded as highly as they are. Moreover, his spectacular turn as an elderly Elvis Presley, battling a soul-consuming mummy in a Texas nursing home, was a joy to behold and in a righteous world would have earned Campbell an Oscar nomination, at the very least.

8.) Hammer’s CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF: I know, I know… a certified, gold-plated classic, from my second-favorite studio—how can I not enjoy this movie? Simple… the film is slow and uninvolving, the story is weak, the acting is sub-par, especially compared with most of Hammer’s productions, and, while the Werewolf design is excellent, it’s on-screen for such a brief amount of time that it’s wasted. It’s not a bad movie, really… it’s simply not a very good one. Expectations for Hammer films… especially the early ones… are high. This movie just doesn’t meet them.

9.) Universal Studios: Speaking of favorite studios… It’s not that I don’t understand the studio from which I gained my nom de plume; I fully understand greed, tight-fistedness, and a reluctance to remember from whence you came. Fans of the great Universal Horrors have long since grown accustomed to being ignored, insulted, passed over, and forgotten about by the studio, only to be shaken down anew when Universal hits hard financial times and trots our favorite cash cows out for another round of “milk the fan.” The latest round of this began four years ago, with the admittedly superb Legacy collections, and has continued unabated, with the Lugosi Franchise collection, the Karloff franchise collection, the Ultimate Sci-Fi collection, and the Hammer Horror collection. Just last year, we saw the release of the DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN 75th Anniversary editions. What I don’t get is, is this a new attitude from Universal regarding our beloved monsters, whether due to the new ownership by NBC or an increased responsiveness to the fan? Or is this just another temporary fling, and is the rug soon to be pulled out from beneath the feet of loyal fans everywhere? Earlier, I mentioned the 75th Anniversary sets of DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN. Last year, however, they failed to give us a similar treatment for the Mummy’s 75th celebration… only to put it on the schedule for this year, in support of the third Brendan Fraser MUMMY film. I don’t know the answer to my question… but if thirty years of being a fan of Universal has taught me anything, it’s that no matter how bountiful the years of plenty are, there’s always a long stretch of lean around the corner.

10.) Sideshow Toys: Can we please stipulate that when the average price of a company’s product line exceeds the $100 mark, they have to take the word “Toy” out of their name? Seriously, there are few companies that do the monsters as well as Sideshow Toys… but who can afford them? Recently, I was browsing through their website, and was struck by the sheer cost of some of their figures, including a life-sized Robby the Robot… for a staggering $17,000! I’ve never paid that much for a car!

These are some of the things that I just can’t understand. There’s more, much more in fact. How Uwe Boll keeps getting directing jobs; why Jessica Alba won’t respond to my marriage proposals; why I’m the only person in America who doesn’t think they belong on AMERICAN IDOL. Like I said… a world of things I just don’t get.

DVD Review: LET'S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH

Title: LET’S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH

Year of Release—Film: 1971

Year of Release—DVD: 2006

DVD Label: Paramount Home Entertainment




THE MOVIE

Don’t let the title mislead you… this isn’t another “let’s-drive-my-wife-insane-and-get-her-riches” movie. LET’S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH is actually a literate, well-plotted Horror Film, one that, while slow-moving to the point of slothfulness, has a tremendously good pay-off… if you can stay with it.

Directed by John Hancock, and starring Zorah Lampert as the titular Jessica, the plot involves a woman (Lampert) who’s just been released from a mental institution, relocating to a rural New England village with her husband Duncan and his friend.

The whole relationship seems odd, and grows odder still when the group discovers a young woman, Emily, living in the home they’ve purchased. Both men are soon falling under Emily’s spell, as Jessica begins spiraling back down towards insanity. Though it first appears as though there’s an effort to drive Jessica insane, the real answer isn’t quite so simple.

Though the film is well-designed, the execution is sloppily done, with a confused, and at times confusing, script; poor photography, little better than the average Made-for-TV Movie of the period; and a no-name cast that is not quite able to wring the full potential from the weak script. On the positive side, though, is the hauntingly beautiful Essex, Connecticut location and the suspenseful plot.

Few settings are more appropriate for a Horror Film or novel than New England, and it is perfectly suited here. However, the photography, by Robert M. Baldwin (as Bob Baldwin), simply doesn’t do justice to it. Likewise, the premise of the film is let down by a meandering script that never quite gets its feet firmly planted.



THE DISC

The DVD is an average effort for Paramount, a company that seldom goes the extra mile on anything but it’s new releases. The print used is clean and complete, and presented in the original widescreen, and the movie is subtitled. The disc is what you would expect for a 35-year old film that was hardly a financial success when first released, and overall, is a decent product.



THE SPECIAL FEATURES

There are no special features on this disc, and it’s difficult to see how much a “Making-of…” or deleted scenes section would’ve added. This isn’t really a movie that cries out for such amenities, even if they had been available.



IN CONCLUSION

While this was a surprisingly enjoyable film at the end, it does require some patience to get there. The cast does the best they can with the script they were given, but you can’t help thinking that a more talented ensemble might have been able to overcome its inherent difficulties. But that shouldn’t stop you from checking this one out. While it’s not one that I would recommend for purchase, (unless you find it in a bargain bin) it certainly is worth a rental. Be patient with it, and you will be rewarded.